Play your guitar Sophie
Hard Decisions
Hardin has been on my routine agenda. My point is, I'll check my HP every morning and find the message there. Then we will tell each other about – small things that might make others think boring but we really enjoy. But a few times, we still like to use Fernando as a mail carrier. It's fun when you read a message, not through HP but a message on paper. A message written in ink. Uhg .. romantic.
This week, Frans and I have been singing at Club House twice. But I don't see any more of the calm that Frans used to get when singing. As if – there would be something bothering his heart that he refused to tell me. And every time I sing in a club house, my mind still drifts into a toebroek. Imagining Grandma running that place all by herself makes me unwell, sick to my stomach.
Sunday afternoon when my sister Frans and Grandma were sitting inside the Toebroek chatting. That was when Stan came in with his bright smile.
“I miss toebroek Aunt,” said.
“Wait a minute Son,” cried Grandma from the kitchenette.
“Stan, what a coincidence you came. There's something I want to talk to you about,” Frans said seriously. It's possible Frans will talk about the anxiety I just meant.
“Ah you are, do not make me afraid so,” Stan said. “What's really ?”
In my heart I also asked – ask about what Frans will say. Does this have anything to do with the events of that night? I mean the events before I got caught in a goldfish pond.
“I can't sing anymore for you,” said Frans Briefly.
“What ?!” stan said with a face asking for an explanation. I who from earlier was just silent as a listener also joined – followan surprised. I changed my seat position to make it more comfortable. Then Grandma came with four cups containing a still steaming toebroek. Exactly at that time. The first time Stan came to this place and made my eyes sparkle – twinkle when he said – words about being a star.
“What's Frans ?” ask Grandma who doesn't understand either.
“Mami, I can't leave Mami alone. My heart is not at ease imagining Mami working alone here. When Papi died, Papi asked me to continue managing Toebroek. I understand, in our family tradition, it's always the descendants of the women who run the toebroek. But until Sophie grows up and she wants to manage a toebroek, I'll hold this responsibility,”
“Why do you think like that Frans. Do you think this old lady can no longer run Toebroek?”
“Mami don't think like that. Mami's gonna keep running Toebroek. It's just ... it's just ..” Frans' head down. I know, she must not feel comfortable singing anywhere else after the events of that night.
“What ?!” ask Stan again.
“I don't think it's where I sing out there. The place where I sing is here. In Toebroek, with Mami.” Sis Frans looked at the three of us.
“Frans, you can be the adoration of many people out there,” Stan said as he glanced.
“Stan, you know khan if that's not what I'm looking for ?”
“Sorry, just kidding,” Stan said with a forced smile. “You should think ahead Frans. With the talent you have now, will you be here forever ?”
“Trims. But I've been thinking of this cook – cook. My place is not out there.”
“It all depends Sophie,” replied Frans. “So khan Mami ?”
“True, it's all up to Sophie. Little lady, this is your choice. Maybe it's time you no longer depend on Frans or me to sing. How ?”
Grandma's question got me excited. It felt like just yesterday I was facing confusion about Hardin, Nando, the school consr, the naughty parrot and now I am faced with the question of whether I can sing alone without Frans.
“Sophie don't know,” answered I doubt – hesitate.
“Listen Sophie. You can do it without Frans. Although I didn't see it in person, but I've heard you make your – friends at school fascinated when you sing. Ehhhh …. At the school concert it means …. But my point is, you can do it,” then Stan turned to Grandma and Brother Frans as if – would say, “Please me …. Reassure this girl …. Please ....,”
while I turned to Brother Frans and Grandma with eyes asking for help to decide the problem that made me confused.
“In addition,” Stan like having another weapon to persuade me, “On behalf of Frans and you Sophie, I signed a contract to become a permanent singer club house yesterday. You remind me ? If Frans could not fulfill it, there was no other choice. You have to fulfill it. Otherwise, there are consequences that we have to pay if we do not keep the contract,” then take turns Stan looked at me and Frans. “And also …. Deep inside your heart, you really want to be a star instead of ?”
I guess I have no other choice.
That night, in between – between serving visitors Toebroek, Grandma told me about her childhood. About how he was educated so hard by my great-grandfather. About how he can not be free to play because outside the house a lot of bullets ringing in the head and about some occasions that he never took until his regret still he felt many – years later then.
“Remember little Miss, you won't know the opportunity suits you or not if you don't try it first. Try Sophie first, then think and feel. If you are not comfortable with your choice, you should know that there are still many opportunities out there. You are still young. Opportunity does not come twice.”
It is true, Grandma said. This opportunity will be difficult to come a second time. There are still some people in Toebroek. Kak Frans said, some people will stay up in front of the TV and carpet in one corner of Toebroek to see the ball game. Grandma had prepared a large cup of toebroek and bread complete with pineapple jam and strawberry ready to be processed into toast.
I left Toebroek to go to the room. I was sleepy and worried. I called Hardin and told him what happened. The answer is the same as Grandma,
“As far as you are Soph,” he said.
If everyone is up to me, depending on me, then how should I decide. Maybe this is what it means to be an adult. You have to follow your heart and make your own decisions.
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Check out other stories written by Eveningtea81 in Noveltoon
1. Play your guitar, Sophie
2. The Sun Becomes a Star
