Pellucid

Chapter 37 - The First Step

A month has passed,

The condition is physically quite recovered after giving birth. But not with his mentality. Sadness and slump to solitude make his mental down enough.

He has not yet visited his son's grave. Not because he did not want to, but his mental condition is not possible and the prohibition of the doctor.

Doctor Gunawan who handles Bening during childbirth as well as the person who first finances the cost of labor Bening, advised Bening to consult a psychiatrist acquaintance. He also recommended a female psychiatrist named Dr. Heni.

Bening also stayed at the psychiatric specialist's house for a while. Because of the unbearable feeling to Bening so that Doctor Heni would accommodate him.

Doctor Heni (45 years old) is a childless widow. Her husband died three years ago in an accident. In addition to being a psychiatrist, Heni also works as a lecturer at Gajah Mada University, Yogyakarta.

"Next week there is the acceptance of new students at UGM through tests from the track of achievement. Didn't at first glance I see your academic value is quite good and never champion one scientific competition as well. There are some courses that seem to suit you. Would you like to try?" ask Dr. Heni gently.

"Are mentally ill people like me still able to go to college, Doc?" ask Bening lirih.

"Hey, who says people who have experienced a mental disorder and then he recovered then should not go to school. Of course it's okay. As long as there is a strong desire of himself to fight the sense of insecure and tell the world that he is able to be the best. Alright," said Dr. Heni assured Bening.

*insecure\=feel insecure

"I haven't healed properly, Doc."

"Healing will come by itself if we are willing and sure that we will be healed. If you socialize a lot with many friends on campus, you will definitely live a strong and more advanced life, "suggested Dr. Heni.

"But Dok_ "The Clear pronunciation is truncated.

"Don't look at the past too often. There we are not moving forward. Let go of the burden on your heart. Make Peace Clear. At least make peace with yourself before others" Dr. Heni says.

"Pray on the Creator that our disgrace may be closed as much as possible from those humans who intend evil on us. You must believe in the power of prayer. Nothing is impossible in this world as long as we keep trying and praying. The rest, surrender to the destiny of God."

"A lot of people out there are successful but have a very bad past. Even worse than your destiny, Bening. But they were able to rise from its fall. Please let your baby go. He has the best place on his side. I put the brochure on the dining table. If you want, then read it and make your choice immediately. If you don't want to, throw it in the trash!" said Doctor Heni in a firm tone as he walked back to his room to rest.

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An hour passed, though,

The clear who could not sleep in his room, continued to flip his body on the bed. He was met with all the advice of Doctor Heni to him. Finally he decided to leave the room and head to the dining room.

A brochure for UGM new students was plastered on the dining table. He sat down and read it. A long sigh came out from his lips.

"I give you my destiny, O God. May you ease all the affairs of the servant. Amen.." Inner Clear prayed.

After that, he returned to the room with the brochure and prepared all the necessary documents to apply for college tomorrow.

While in the corner of the room, Doctor Heni who heard the sound of the door to the room was open, then he decided to open a little door to his room. From the gap he could see everything that Bening did at the dining table.

A smile rose when he saw Bening carrying the brochure he had placed earlier there. Doctor Heni is confident in his abilities. So that he continued to try to convince the young girl to rise up and organize her long future.

"Good luck, pretty. I must be helping you," Inner Doctor Heni happily smiled at Bening from a distance.

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