Not Ex?

Missing, Does He hate?

When I opened the other sheet, the sentence was deliberately scratched with red ink.

[There's something wrong with me, I like him, he hates me, I'm rude to him, so he thinks I hate him]

I smiled remembering that moment.....

* * *

Visually Risma is a sweet girl, but sometimes she is very fierce, especially in men. Tama who sat next to him was often the target of his anger, not infrequently he threw books or any objects towards Tama, what a heartbreaking sight. The way Risma so bitterly oppressed Tama, as if it would hurt her friend or not.

Not infrequently Risma kicked the table when talking to Tama, his emotions overflowed when they had different opinions or Tama did what Risma thought was the boy's fault. But when Tama goes to avoid her anger, the young girl regrets it, in fact Risma likes everything Tama has and everything about her, but the behavior shown is exactly the opposite, it was as if Risma really hated Tama.

Fighting with Tama is his way to get attention, but it turns out that way is wrong, and unfortunately Risma can not fix it.

One day Tama moved seats, she changed her position with Lulu, she no longer wanted to talk to Risma.

Risma was well aware, all because of her excessive and outrageous attitude. Presumably he really regretted his bad treatment of Tama.

However, his great prestige made him reluctant to ask Tama let alone apologize. For days they do not talk to each other even if they are one group, Tama chose to leave and then enter the other group.

Risma tried to remember her actions last time to Tama, could there be something very outrageous, but all in vain, too often the girl is looking for her best friend. It had even become a common sight for students in that class if Risma and Tama used to fight and almost every day Risma hit him.

As a result, Tama gave up. He chose to make a distance between them, while Risma, the girl finally felt lonely.

"Risma ... Why are you the same Tama?"

Lulu, who saw the two who were not as usual, finally asked.

"Emmm ... Why is it? Tama avoided me but I swear, I don't know why."

For a moment Risma stopped the activity of taking notes to answer Lulu's question.

"Ow ... If for example I find out if I can't?"

Lulu seems to want to help Risma, but she seems very careful more precisely hesitant to express her point.

"Really?"

Since Lulu's offer that day Risma becomes hopeful that Lulu will get the information and she can improve her relationship with Tama. The girl was very much waiting for the answer to what her friend would tell her.

The bell home from school reads that the lesson has been completed for the day, when Risma stands about to leave her stool, Lulu suddenly holds her back.

Risma sat back down, both of them waiting for the class to be completely empty.

"Risma, why do you hate Tama so much?" Lulu opened the conversation with a question that made Risma's forehead flinch in surprise.

"No, ah! I don't hate him, he's like I hate him."

"But every day you're snapping at Tama, sometimes you hit her."

"Oh .. I just love it, I like to chase him, but that doesn't mean I hate him. What the hell are you talking about, Lu?"

Lulu took out a piece of seedy paper, the seedy paper that was torn from the writing book. Squeezing it then placed it on Risma's palm, and forced Risma to grasp it.

"The answer is on that paper, yes, I'm going home."

The glasses girl was stunned for a moment then stuffed the gloomy paper circle that Lulu had given her, into her shirt pocket.

[he was fierce, every day I was afraid to make him, there was no way he would like me, even if I would reject him ]

A short sentence written carelessly, but enough to damage the reader, Risma.

On the other hand, Risma wondered. How did Tama know that the glasses girl actually liked her?

He never told anyone about his feelings, because he himself could not interpret his own feelings.

* * * * * * *

The little paper is still neatly taped to the very back of my beloved Biology book.

I read many times that I hated him, just as he hated me.

And many times I have failed, I have failed, I have never succeeded in hating it....