Not Ex?
Missing, Following His Traits
The boy may now be a man, bouncing around out there with no memory of me ever being, trapping me with memories of tormenting me with longing to leave me with his shadow.
* * *
Biology is my favorite subject, I remember whether or not there was a biology lesson schedule I always took this book to school, and all about him I wrote this book, he said, it was a waste to write it because until this moment alone everything about him was still clearly drawn in my memory and it felt like it was just yesterday.
Maybe I should burn this book so that the memory of him is not left, but what effect it has while he who left has taken my heart with him.
My eyes glared at the ceiling of the room, remembering day after day about him in order.
His voice was still very clear in my ears, his hands were even I could still feel, his eyes were still very clear I remembered the shape of a very unique eyebrow that was rarely owned by everyone.
He left me...
She left without saying goodbye, she disappeared, and I couldn't forget her even to hate her.
I did change, the jolly me turned quiet, I was no longer a young man I was an adult but the one that never changed was my feelings for him.
Right at the bottom of a chart, my second streak of him.
[although he did not consider my presence, yet I continued to follow in his footsteps ]
* * * * * * * * *
A clear day for walking, an event was held sub-district, followed by schools in the region.
Rows are arranged in each class, short posture makes Tama placed in the front row. While Risma must resist the annoyance of being in the back row.
The fierce girl initially dreamed of walking in tandem with Tama. Storytelling along the way, or at least walking right behind Tama is enough for him.
Not Risma if not good at hiding her disappointment. The girl kept cheering burning the spirit of her friends.
The route passed apparently quite far, the originally neat row turned irregular again. Some of the exhausted participants were forced to stop to rest. Not a few also cut the route by passing a shortcut.
Risma lost track of Tama. Risma was forced to stop her steps just to accompany Lulu who suddenly sat leaning under the tree with tired nose and sweat that soaked the back of the Scout shirt she wore.
"Have you not rested yet? Let's go on the road again!"
"Start away! Why do you chase Tama? I'll meet you in the district."
Deg, Risma's surprised. Where does Lulu know what she has in mind.
"Eh, not chasing Tama, yeah! We are far from the group."
Finally lazily, Lulu got up and continued on the journey. Risma took his friend's hand and walked quickly, making Lulu feel dragged.
The leisurely walking route ended at the sub-district office which was not far from Risma school. All participants gather, waiting for the results of the coupon draw.
Tama really makes Risma curious, his super friendly attitude every day, making Risma will feel a bad day when the hospitality was just a day missed.
Risma never interpreted her feelings as love, she thought it was too early for her age. For Risma, having a daily relationship with Tama is more than enough.
"Friends become love?"
Maybe it can, but not as vulgar as that definition.
Risma splits the dense human fence, struggling to find the existence of Tama. Sometimes he asked a friend he met.
The boy was standing facing south, with both hands he put in his pants pocket. His distinctive style when standing glued listening to one by one the lottery numbers are read.
Risma gave a smile, which she had already found.
Why not call him, shout his name in the crowd? No, the girl had another way of getting Tama's attention that was actually cute, for Tama, Risma was a passing advertisement.
The girl accidentally rammed her body into Tama which then almost fell.
"Sorry .. sorry .. not intentionally, driven by the person."
Very light mouth Risma lied at that time, like do not know the science of religion.
Tama no longer pay attention to Risma, it can be said Risma's efforts at that time, failed.
Actually Risma wants to linger near Tama, let the hot sun sting, for Risma remains cool when beside the short boy. But no, Risma chose to move immediately.
Just a few meters away Risma was able to stay away, if further away, he was worried about losing the figure of Tama. Sure enough, his gaze was never let go of the boy.
Even when Tama took the stage to receive a bicycle gift from the committee, Risma still did not give up her eyes.
* * * * * * *
I used to be so content to look at him silently, just his back was enough for me.
Where the hell's he going?
The same question every time I remember him, no matter if he still remembers me or not. I miss each time I remember it.
Why does he hate me so much that he says goodbye, he won't tell me.
I lay my head down on the ledger, letting the clear grains just flow, soaking up the white sheets, right where I wrote every sentence of remembrance.
I gather energy to open the next sheets, reading one after another the scribbles that will rearrange the past puzzle about him....
