NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS ALYZA'S WORLD

Resignedly

🌿

"You're fine here. So that we can go home soon."

I didn't pay attention to it.

Brother Ina can't hide the sadness on his face.

"Tomorrow brother came here again see you. A promise? Promise me you're okay."

I didn't answer, my eyes were empty.

Yesterday I could still eat as much sleep as possible, now it must be restricted. Medications are increasing.

My weight is now almost 85 kg.

Every few times a month, Ina buys me new clothes.

Ina wants me to get married, have children. It's not too late he said. But I also have to try to improve myself.

Especially I have to try not to talk or listen to Randy.

Randy's evil, don't listen.

Even Brother Ina taught me to create new imaginary figures, good people.

But it hasn't worked, it's still Randy who rules my days. With his evil voices.

"You're beautiful, Lyza. Clever. Help brother yes, try not to beat Randy. If he speaks, you shut up. Can you?"

So Brother Ina often said. Sometimes I wonder why Ina's sister still patiently faces me.

Yes, Brother Ina has helped me a lot. Even I became dependent, sometimes deliberately doing it to get his attention.

When I speak for myself, Ina often mediates.

"Lyza, please take out the trash. Finish the trash, do not forget to wash your hands. Throw it in the trash, not outside."

Not tired, Ina reminded me, yes, I often throw garbage outside the trash can.

Disgusted if you have to look at the trash.

I'll talk continuously.

Again and again, the longer the faster.

Not only that, but I'm getting rougher.

Each time, Ina interrupted me so that I would stop talking and get distracted by something else.

Not only talking, but I also often do things without me fully realizing, that my actions are not pleasant for others.

It's even very disturbing.

Like when one day, a neighbor came in angry.

"Ehhc ... Ma'am. Please Lyza's taken care of. The time he came into my house kept peeing on the porch. Now who's clean!" the neighbor shouted. His face was red.

Brother Ina tried to calm him down while apologizing.

Yeah, I did pee on the porch of Ita's mom. I happened to go to the shop and I saw the gate open, I peed.

I don't think that it could upset Ms. Ita.

Just the matter of peeing why the storm, is not staying in the flush, finished.

At other times, the neighboring house in another alley, Mr. Yudi's house, suffered a fire disaster. The fire destroyed part of the house, fortunately it did not spread to other homes.

I, spontaneously told people that the one who burned down Mr. Yudi's house was Mr. Tono, the next door neighbor. Randy whispered to me.

To everyone who passed by I said the same thing.

It is possible that at that time he was planning the burning.

Thought.

While eating lunch, I heard a noise outside. There's moreover.

It turned out that Mr. Tono came to our house looking for me.

"Where's lyza?"

"Lyza is eating, sir."

"Send him out. What the fuck is spreading the news that I burned Mr. Yudi's house!"

His anger is unstoppable, if I were the one he met immediately I don't know what happened.

"Pak Tono, I'm sorry Lyza, he just spoke. Please understand, the more days he's getting harder to control."

As soon as I heard Ina's sister trying to calm down. Trying to give understanding.

"But I don't accept, Ina ma'am. I'm accused of burning down Mr. Yudi's house. If anyone else believes how, ma'am. Not everyone knows how Lyza is."

"Yes sorry, sir. I'll meet the people and explain."

Mr. Tono passed by leaving Ina's sister. His voice sounded all the way.

*

"About how long Lyza's condition continues, sir. Is there any alternative treatment that can be done, better medicine."

"For a while we've been providing the best medicine and therapy for mom. Healing is indeed no guarantee, the most important is actually the assistance of the nuclear family. If there's no extra attention, there's gonna be a hard fix."

Brother Ina is still trying to find the best way for my treatment. I'm sure he'll never calm down as long as I'm here.

"I understand, my mother explained to me about the Lyza family. So it's the best Lyza here for a while."

"Good, Sir. This is my contact at any time there's something to talk about."

"I'm not calm." Continue to breathe.

One month, two months until six months. I'm still at the rehab, every few days Ina's sister comes. Sometimes with Anto sometimes alone. My mom has never visited.

The tina? Ever once.

I don't give a shit!

Today Brother Ina came again, from a distance I saw him crying. Road hurried.

His face looked worried.

I could only greet her from behind the window. In my hand I held tightly to a greeting card, for Ina's sister who had a birthday last week.

There's some decoration on it.

Our work in the home, on the sidelines of therapy, we are taught how to work simply.

He said to distract negative thoughts.

"Lyza, what are you doing?"

I just kept looking blankly.

Yesterday I attacked one of the officers, I pushed him to the ground.

Maybe that's why Ina's coming!

🌿

(Marrieanne's)