NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS ALYZA'S WORLD

Go home

🌿

The atmosphere at the police station was very crowded. I didn't even sit down, there was a slight fear of seeing the many uniformed officers passing by.

But I can't back down, hopefully someone's kind enough to help me here.

The astonishment cannot be hidden from the face of the Police officer before me. Maybe they've never had someone like me, I don't know, I feel weird.

Some people seemed to be chatting, some whispering, occasionally glancing at me.

I don't know what they're talking about, I didn't hear it.

"Mom, why's mom?"

"Please kill me, just kill me, sir!" Reply again.

"Mom why do you talk that way?"

"Yes, I'm asking to be killed. My head is dizzy, sir!"

The police officer kept asking me this and that's what I don't understand.

"Randy keeps bothering me, sir!"

"Randy? Who's Randy, Mom?"

"My ex-boyfriend from college, sir!"

"Where is Randy now?" The police asked, getting curious makes me dizzy.

"That, sir. That's where he's crashing!' Reply origin. My hand pointed towards a tree in the courtyard of the police station.

"There's nobody there, Mom!"

"Tu, now it's moved up the tile." Reply again.

The police officer looked puffed up, they started talking more seriously.

Maybe I thought I was kidding, but I was serious.

"Come, mom come with me. I'm taking my mom home!"

"No way, sir. Randy knows my house."

"I don't want to go home. Just let me, sir!"

I tried to convince them again.

"Yes already. Now my mother is coming with me. I'm taking you somewhere else."

A police car was waiting in the yard, with the door open.

I was told to go in, without asking again I just follow the orders of the police officer.

All the way back I tried to remember all the events I had experienced. Why did I get like this.

When we were kids, we lived in luxury. But my mother hardly had time at home, busy with her work.

We were closer to the housekeeper or the driver.

Papa is very violent, even tends to be authoritarian. As it were. At first my mother and we were following my will, but over time, my mother and I began to rebel in silence.

While Anto and Tina were still acting ordinary.

We started being scared in front of papa but behind the corner.

In fact, when papa is sick, mama also looks unconcerned even busy with her own activities.

I myself feel lazy if I have to take care of papa, nothing, even in a state of pain papa is still often angry.

Only Anto and Kak Ina routinely take care of papa. Took him back to the hospital for years.

Mama and I never even visited the hospital-treated father for a month before he died.

I don't know, we were acting stupid.

*

About an hour away in a police car, we reached a place I did not recognize.

There was a police conversation with the guard.

At first glance I saw the Social Service writing at the entrance, but I did not pay much attention.

After having a conversation with the officers, I was eventually left with a few others.

There was an old man, his clothes shabbyly torn. His face looks dirty.

There is also a mother, middle age, carrying a lot of plastic.

I don't know what it is, which clearly smells.

And there were a few more people, each speaking alone. Sometimes laughing, sometimes silent, sometimes crying.

We were all gathered in a room, then taken to separate rooms for men and women.

Previously, we were given the same clothes. We were told to take a shower first.

At night, we ate together. We were treated well, some people tried to talk, chat but I didn't understand what they were talking about.

He said we had to rest, because tomorrow we'll be taken home.

Ahhe... Why should I go home too. Thought!

Randy would have me again.

It occurred to me, must be currently brother Ina is looking for me here and there, traveling from one housing complex to another housing complex.

Calling the family one by one, even combing through store after store, hoping to find me.

There was pity, wanting to go home, but I didn't know the way home. Ahh come on, he said tomorrow he would take her home. I'll just wait till tomorrow.

I fell asleep very well.

*

"Lyza, where have you been!" Shouted brother Ina.

Sure enough, Brother Ina looks very anxious.

I was escorted by several Social Service officers to the house, at first they had doubts when I showed the home address. Even one of the officers refused to go down, and insisted that I show the correct address.

Brother Ina invited the fathers in and talked. There are some documents to sign, as I heard.

In fact, the officer asked Ina for a photo with the officer and me.

As proof that the Social Service has handed me over to the family. So said.

There was no sight of Mama, Tina or Anto at home.

I'm sure they're busy with their own business.

Only Ina's sister, yes, Ina's sister is always there.

I remember, in her case, Anto often told me to be grateful. Grateful and grateful.

"You should be grateful, Lyza!"

"He was very understanding, willing to accept you and mama like this. Try it if it's another woman, I could've stayed away, Lyza!"

"When are you a burden to me!"

But I never cared what Anto said, all I had in mind was how to eat good sleep.

Was I wrong, where was his fault.

Once when papa was alive, I heard Anto was angry at papa.

"Because papa's too hard, mama's been a fool with us, Pa. Lyza even got disturbed. Now they're all my burden!"

Yes, from the beginning I was considered disturbed, Anto was the one who brought me to the psychologist.

The doctor said I have schizophrenia.

It is a mental disorder that lasts for a long time. Patients usually cannot distinguish imagination from reality and can not interpret reality normally. Patients also have unusual thoughts and behaviors that can interfere with the function (activity) of daily life. Lifetime treatment is needed by the patient in order to control the symptoms experienced.

That's the explanation of the doctor who treated me.

Of course, I don't understand what that means.

"It's not about the money, I can afford them, but my household is disturbed, Pa. Very disturbed!"

Papa was just silent, stroke makes papa difficult to talk. Only his hands code when he wants something.

Even to refute Anto he could not.

After papa's gone, I'm still the same. No change is even getting worse.

I was talking to myself more and more, breaking things, crying, screaming.

Brother Ina bought me a TV for the room. He said that Anto would not be disturbed if he again watched in the front room.

I watch the news every day, especially crime and politics. I also love watching soap operas. Especially if there are angry scenes, I like it the most.

Brother Ina often reminds me, in order to replace the good broadcast on watch. But I don't like it.

"Lyza ... lyza .. wake up!"

🌿

(Marrieanne)