Not Always Beautiful

41. Wound

When I opened my eyes I was no longer in the room I used to occupy, I saw around bi Surti was sitting holding my hand. Infusion hose? I'm in the hospital. Where is Adrian? Did she leave me after knowing there was a fetus growing inside my womb? Tears seem to stop coming out of my eyes

"Bi, where's Adrian?"

"Mr is out for a while madam, madam rest huh. Aunt is sad to see the condition of the mistress like this. Auntie dear to you madam" I smiled faintly. The door opens, it's Adrian. Bi surti pamit out. Adrian sat next to me and stroked my hand

"Is this still sick, baby?" I'm nodding.

"Rest, let's recover quickly" I'm still crying.

"Sorry, I...."

"We'll talk about that later, you'll have to recover. You want to go to South Korea, right?" I nodded

"We're going to South Korea later this month"

What your heart is made of, you're not a stupid man who doesn't understand any of this. But you're that calm. I'm sorry I always hurt you.

"I'm out for a while, yeah, you rest" I nodded.

The events of that day tormented my mind and mind. Not even old wounds have healed, new wounds have been created. Wounds that are much more painful than the previous wounds.

A few weeks ago when I got home from the Adrian station, it was about 14:30 while waiting for an online taxi to arrive. I saw a pregnant woman carrying a lot of stuff asking for help, without any suspicion I approached her about to help, but suddenly someone hit the back of my head. I don't know what happened next and who did it. I don't know. It happened so quickly, when I opened my eyes, I was already in a foreign room. I tried to get out but for free, the door was locked windows were installed in Tralis. I kept banging on the door and yelling, hoping someone would hear me yell and help me. Long enough I screamed but still no one came.

I looked out the window at noon, for God's sake Adrian must have been looking for me. God help me get out of this place, I'm scared. God answered my prayer, someone opened the door. The king?

"Thank God you're here, quickly help me out. Adrian must be very worried about me" the king did not answer, he continued to walk towards me. He doesn't look like the King I know.

"How are you, baby? You don't miss me?" The king is getting closer, I keep moving away, he's scary

"You? Is this you? Where I am, I want to go home now" The king pulled my waist

"Relax baby, I won't hurt you. This is the room we'll be in after we get married"

"I won't marry you, now let me go, or I'll yell"

"Shout as you please dear, no one can hear you. This room is my soundproof design. So if you don't want your vocal cords to break because you keep yelling, you better take my game, I promise it'll be fun"

"I beg you King, I want to go home I'm afraid"

"There's no need to be afraid baby, there's me" for God's sake this isn't the King I know, I started crying. A hard blow back made my consciousness disappear.

I woke up because the cold was so on my skin. How shocked I was, when I opened my eyes there was no thread attached to my body. I saw the King approaching, damn the blanket was not there to cover my body. She kept coming closer, I cried again.

My crying didn't make her melt at all, she's getting sane. The king began to attack me without regard for my tears and screams. He attacked me very rudely. It feels like dying is so much better than this. Not just once, the King attacked me many times.

"For God's sake the King stop, you're hurting me so much"

Just like a lost man I ran here and there to hide from him. The morning prayer was heard, I don't know how many times the King attacked me. I lay on the floor in the most miserable condition without a thread. God take my life now, I can't meet my husband. The shadow of the King who used to be so attentive and loving to me. But now he turned into a monstrous monster.

The sun is beginning to show its light. The king threw the clothes, bags and shoes that I was wearing the other day, I was like a bitch who had finished serving his master.

"I'm taking you home"

"You're satisfied?"

"Meera I..."

"Csssttt...Don't ever say my name" I put on my clothes and get ready to go home, the King's blocking my arms

"Remove your filthy hands from my arms. You're disgusting, you're inferior to a wild animal" God was still nice to me, as soon as I got out of that filthy house a cab passed by. Along the way I prepared my heart to meet my husband, the husband who loved me so much, the husband I kept hurting.

Arriving home, I saw Adrian mas bediri in front of the door, seen he was calling someone.

"Mas" adrian hugged me, I didn't dare to return the hug. I'm dirty

"Where have you been, baby, I'm worried half dead, my employee found your phone on the street but he didn't see you there. Where were you yesterday?"

"I'm tired, I want to rest"

From that day on I slept separately with Adrian. I'm ashamed, I'm dirty and so contemptible, I don't deserve Adrian. Every day I curse myself for all the stupidity I did. A few weeks after that disgusting incident, I felt something else with my body. Especially in the morning, I often nausea and vomiting, but only the clear liquid comes out. I decided to buy a pregnancy test to confirm my condition.

I don't dare to see the results, but I have to know. I ventured to see and the result really broke my heart. My hopes and dreams of living happily with Adrian were instantly wiped out. I cried, roared and kept cursing

"Basic fool, filthy woman abhorrent cheap lowly. I'm more of a bitch than a bitch. I am worse than animals. I'm stupid. God forgive me, I'm sorry" only crying can I do

"I don't deserve Adrian, I have to die. Yes I must die, at least I will not be a disgrace to Adrian when I die" I look for a cutter and scratch in my left arm hoping that death will come to me right now.

"I love you mas, I'm gone, I don't want to be a disgrace to you. Good bye"

******

I have been in the hospital for three days, and Adrian has been by my side for three days. Mas Adrian tells me that the fetus in my womb can not be saved, I am not sad at all.

"You don't want to know what really happened?"

"I know everything, you better forget it. and focus on your recovery, oh yeah I didn't tell the parents, I didn't want to worry them" I nodded

"Thank you, always accept me"

"You're my wife, I'll accept you in every condition"

Happiness cannot be sought but created. My husband always creates happiness for me, but I seek happiness on the outside. Until trapped in pseudo happiness that actually destroys. Thank God you sent down an angel to be my husband.