My Fans A Ustadz

9. What's wrong with me?

"Where are your preparations regarding the departure of the MTQ invitation, then?" kyai Hasan asked me. We had finished dinner together and were now chatting in the living room.

"Nearly finished, kyai. I've also been giving materials for my class to Ustadz Adi during my time away," I explained calmly despite my heart being crushed.

It does. One week or so I'm going to a small town, like I visited that town during the Presidential election campaign two years ago. I was invited as a prosecutor at the MTQ event there. Actually, I don't know the people in the county government. It's just that a friend while studying in Cairo contacted me to fill out the charges there because he couldn't. I, as his substitute, can be said that way.

I saw Kyai Hasan sigh. I don't know what the owner of the Pesantren Cottage where I work is thinking.

"There's something I want to talk to you about, Tadz. It's about my daughter, Farah."

Right my guess. It must be about marriage. Astaghfirullah, it turns out this is what it feels like if you are not married and always in a mate.

"Yes, Kyai." I can only answer that because I do not know how else, even though my guess would really mean the name MARRIAGE.

"I'm old, Farah is 27. He's our only son. Marry Farah, Adnan."

I closed my eyes for a moment. Take a deep breath to keep my heart calm. "Why did Kyai choose me as Farah's husband?" ask Kyai Hasan.

"For I am sure that you can be a priest to my son and you can lead this Pesantren Cottage."

I was shocked to hear Kyai Hasan say to me just now. "What if I'm not ready to be Farah's priest, Kyai?" I asked again, but my heart began to calm down.

"Farah has already rejected the proposal of some ustadz. Though it has undergone ta'aruf and the result still Farah refused."

I ventured to look at Kyai Hasan after hearing his explanation. "Why did you refuse, Kyai?"

"Farah refused because she's liked you for a long time, tadz. I don't want the feeling of love growing in her heart to be a sin. That's why I proposed to you for my daughter. Please consider my proposal and the leader of the Ponpes will soon change" said Kyai Hasan.

I was even more surprised to hear the explanation from Kyai Hasan. How could Farah like me? While all this time I know, the woman was never close to me even though I was preaching in the Pesantren princess.

And what was that?

"I'm sorry, Kyai. I cannot accept this proposal. Especially to be the Leader of Pesantren Cottage. My science hasn't been there and I'm sorry, I don't want to get married."

Actually, I was confused about myself too. By the age of 30, they are not ready to get married. Who does not know Farah's body?

Just by looking at her eyes alone, I was very sure that beauty was hidden there.

I saw there was a disappointed streak from the middle-aged man's bead. However, I could not accept something that would define my world and my afterlife simply because of his condolences.

"Can't you think about it, Tadz? you can go through the approach process with ta'aruf. If it still feels unsuitable, you can cancel as Islam teaches."

Astarghfirullah's.

Looks like Kyai Hasan hasn't given up on persuading me. "I'm sorry, Kyai. Something forced is hard to achieve happiness."

I took a deep breath and then got up from sitting. "I'm sorry, Kyai. It's so late. Assalamualaikum," I said then grabbed his hand and saluted his reverence.

As I straightened my body, I accidentally saw Farah standing in the doorway staring at me. A disappointed look, I was sure that the woman had heard my conversation with Kyai Hasan. I nodded as my breakfast and left the house of Kyai Hasan in Pondok Pesantren.

On the way home, I did not feel burdened anymore even though I had to hurt others.

When I got home, I changed into a pair of pants and a polo shirt. I open my phone and my smile comes out looking at a message from one of the digital novel writers.

Although I am an ustadz, I also have a social media account. But, the account name I use is not my real name and does not show my profile. I have the account as a container for spreading kindness.

However, some time ago I accidentally saw one account on the social media app logged into my homepage. I saw she was an online writer and her husband had passed away. The impulse made me download the digital novel application and search for the title of the book I saw earlier.

Nothing I read, just look and follow and go to the comment field. I read every loyal reader of that guy like it's encouraging. Again I was encouraged by my heart to write a comment inviting marriage.

What's wrong with me?