My Fans A Ustadz

48. Overlooked

Farah was ashamed of her parents. Not knowing what to do so that his parents would no longer be angry and disappointed in him. Moreover, the news of Adnan's rejection of him has been spread outside in the pesantren.

Ummi kulsum had also been crying from earlier due to unbearable embarrassment. Kyai Hasan was silent and scared Farah even more.

"Don't look your face out of the house again. Abi was ashamed to have a child like you," Kyai Hasan rose up into the room in the Ummi kulsum.

****

Since then, Nirmala has been quieter. Sometimes unbeknownst to Adnan, Nirmala cries in the middle of the night or even while daydreaming, the tears drip without themselves. 

No more joking or spoiled Nirmala to Adnan. No more talking before bed or discussing the future.

The past trauma added to Nirmala's pregnancy made her even more sensitive. Every time Adnan taught at the pesantren, he became overthinking. Thinking that Adnan will secretly marry Farah.

"Honey," call Adnan to bring a glass of pregnant milk.

Nirmala wiped her tears and turned to look at Adnan. Give a smile to her husband. "Thank you, mas." She drank the milk without saying anything.

Adnan himself found that Nirmala's changed attitude can only sigh long. He misses the old Nirmala, who is always cheerful and open to him.

He was also sad because Nirmala did not want to leave the house anymore. Whereas before, when the pesantren holiday weekend. Nirmala must have invited some santriwati to lunch together. "Honey. You why?" adnan asked, wanting Nirmala to open up to him again. But, his wish was not fulfilled when Nirmala shook her head.

Before the time of Ashar prayer, Adnan pampit to return to the pesantren because today it is his turn to deliver tausiyah. Last time, if he would get a turn or invitation tausyiah then Nirmala would be very excited. Especially seeing his appearance in a koko shirt.

****

"Honey. Did you just get out of the pesantren, huh?" tanya Adnan rested at the feet of Nirmala who was sitting combing her hair.

Nirmala was surprised to look down at Adnan full of question marks. "Why come out, ma'am?" 

"If you go to the pesantren and make you sad and over thinking, it is better to stop. I don't want you to go on, baby."

Nirmala threw away face could not bear to stare at Adnan for too long. What Adnan said, right. But that doesn't mean it has to be like this. "I'm sorry, mas. I'm afraid you're finally getting married again. I don't want honey, mas."

Adnan took a long breath. "There won't be a second marriage, baby. Please believe the same, ma'am. Only you and your children will accompany you. Don't think so, yeah."

The cry of Nirmala broke. "I don't want this either, but the thought comes to itself. I'm afraid you've forgotten me that you married Farah."

"Yes, God. That's not possible, baby. Please don't cry, remember our son."

Her tears heard that there was a child among them. Nirmala had ignored that these few days. The focus is only fearing that Adnan will remarry. "I'm sorry, mas." she said sincerely because if not noticed Adnan, then Nirmala ignored her pregnancy.

"Don't think a no-no, yeah. I will not marry again. I promise."