My Brother's Friend

42. Moms

Elkane

Since Milly began to take care of myself I also began to self-awareness. Gurgling the eyes of the men who tried to glance at Milly both blatantly and secretly. I also did not hesitate to throw sharp gazes at them one by one.

I wouldn't be like this if their eyes were used as they should.

But still it feels like I want to lock Milly into a burlap sack so as not to be a spectacle material. I began to get caught off guard when every time we went together to the Mall or at least out of the house, there was just a naughty look floating on Milly.

Only by wearing a knee-length white hoodie drowned his body, his hair was pigtailed original and used clear style glasses that are commonly worn by young people today. Both her legs were covered in black leggings and wearing white sneakers. Her tiny face was polished with a thin powdery, faded red-flavored ranum lip thanks to the latest lipbalm that Karmila just bought yesterday when she found out Milly was starting to like wearing brightly colored lipbalm.

It looks simple, and I admit Milly's appearance now looks even more adorable. And it was not only me who said that, the gazes of those who looked at Milly also thought the same thing.

But I still don't like their behavior.

Right now I was staring at my coffee glass that was left half with a branched mind. Imagine how Milly was when he was in France, then met with his friends there and met with men of the same age. And after getting acquainted with the possibility that some of them will like Milly.

Do I have to marry Milly before Milly leaves?

"sister,"

I looked up and saw Milly sitting next to me. I rubbed my face at a glance, then circled around. One large white suitcase has been neatly packed by Milly, even wrapped in a layer of clear plastic. I myself intend to coat the suitcase. I cursed my stupidity that sat too long in silence just daydreaming about things that are not clear.

"big brother why, lately often daydream. Brother thinks of my departure again?"

I want to nod, I will. But I can't, don't want to be selfish. Milly went only 3 years, no more and no less. Milly also promised to return to Indonesia if she got a long holiday.

"no, I'm thinking office work."

I got up and helped Milly pack up the rest of the stuff to put in the second suitcase. After checking the luggage back so that nothing was missed, I closed and locked the suitcase and coated it with plastic.

There is a large cream-bite Teddy Bear doll that I bought deliberately to accompany Milly during the flight. Given Milly was afraid to get on the plane, I was worried that Milly would have trouble later.

My fear is the same felt by Adit, for that Adit has brought Milly to the hospital to consult how to reduce his fear. Only given direction and mental support, as well as anxiety-transferring tips. I think it's best that Milly be given a special drug as prescribed, but my idea would make Milly dependent. Milly doesn't want to be like that.

Until Milly convinced us both that he would be fine, and finally we could only rely on trust.

After finishing packing, Milly took me to sit on the bed. Then Milly sat on my lap and turned her back to me, and she asked me to tell her about my problem with Risma, because before packing my suitcase I told her I was going to talk about it.

I started telling everything, my dark story while sitting in High School. Where Dad and Risma often quarrel at home, rarely come home, until their relationship ended in divorce and I was abandoned by him. As long as I told him, Milly listened to me with different facial expressions; surprised, sad, angry, and pity. My story is like an ftv drama. Believe me I can't believe I experienced it myself.

That's why I left on Milly's birthday. In addition to meeting with Risma, what makes me astonished is Nathan who is my rival up the ranks to become my half-sister.

Remembering that again I snorted speechless. The number of earth creatures in this world, why should Nathan be my half-brother?

The harder my past haunts my life now Adit also often tells me, maybe it's time I started to open up to make peace with the past. But either way, my ego is still too high to accept Risma and acknowledge Ferry and Nathan as family.

And Risma more and more often waiting for me in the apartment lobby, and unfortunately Risma can wait all day for me so that my name becomes the most booming gossip material in the entire apartment. And what made me shake my head even more, they thought that Risma was my dark lover whom I deliberately left behind for a younger woman.

A fucking bitch is a human mouth! Think I'm a striped-nosed guy?!

After I poured all my stories on Milly, Milly sighed. Carefully he gave me input. The exact same input that Adit said, asked me to come to terms with the past. Forgive Risma and accept Ferry and Nathan's presence into my life.

They knew it was still very difficult for me to accept personally. Yes it is true. Especially with Risma. The wound in my heart was too sharp, it would even hurt more when I remembered where Dad was until he fell ill after their divorce lawsuit.

But the funny thing is that Dad never ceases to strengthen me and support me here, which should be me who strengthens and accompanies him there. The word wejangan was never spared in every message he sent me. Reminds me that I should always look down when I'm on top. And do not forget to always give thanks for what I have now.

Remembering Dad, I'm going to preach it through a video call.

It was late at night, I chose to go home to the apartment.

When my steps reached the lobby, I came back to Risma sitting while holding a food table in the waiting room corner of the lobby. Risma got up with a sparkling face after she saw me looking at her.

The words of Milly and Adit were ringing again in my head, spinning in 1 bow.

Make peace? Can I do it?

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The apartment door was wide open. I stepped in followed by Risma behind me. I saw him sweeping his gaze at the decoration of the Apartment that was far from simple. You could say very quiet, because I'm more often at Adit's house. The apartment is only occasionally I live in, and I will make it the best date place for me with Milly in the future.

I allowed Risma to enter, and I left her for a while to change clothes. When I returned he was still standing at the side of the dining table, still looking at my apartment with a judging look.

I walked past him towards the fridge, then I took out a canned drink and I put it on the table.

Glancing at the wall clock on top of the LED, it looks like I haven't been able to make a video call on Dad.

"sit down." asked me and he timidly looked at me, as if he did not dare to sit down before I gave him permission. After I asked her, she pulled up the chair then sat down in a stiff motion.

For a few seconds we were silent, busy thinking inside each other's heads. Feeling increasingly awward, I started to open the chat.

"don't you get bored every day coming here?" ask me then. Risma was still silent, then she cleared her throat slowly and replied to my question.

"no, I'm glad you have to come every day to see you."

"you're just wasting your time" I said as flat as I could, and then I went back to pick up the cutlery. Rantang the food that Risma brought was definitely for me to have dinner tonight. My stomach is also starting to rumble.

When I wanted to bring the cutlery, Risma stood by my side and grabbed the cutlery and put it on the table.

Immediately he opened the bushel he was carrying, it looks simple side dishes smelling a scent that managed to shake my stomach; salted squid with kale, not forgetting the rice is still warm as a complement. He remembered my favorite food.

Then we sat back down, Risma scooping rice and side dishes onto my plate. Then he only noticed me when I started bribing food into my mouth.

A little bit of a concern to be noticed that way. But I let it go. This time I will just follow what he wants to do.

Before long Risma asked me the taste of her cooking, whether the cuisine still fits my tongue or not. I nodded, meaning that the cooking still tasted delicious on my tongue.

I burped softly after finishing my food until I was left, then Risma put the dirty dishes to Sink and immediately he washed. Still I let him do his own thing.

When he finished, I asked him to speak again.

"i've eaten your cooking. You better go home."

I still intentionally said coldly to him. So that my heart will still be conscious and know that our relationship will not be the same as it used to be.

I don't want to fall back into empty hope.

"can you come here often, see you and bring you food?"

I let out a rough sigh and said, "i've grown up. No need to be visited or bothered to bring food. I can buy it outside if I'm hungry, now it's easy with one phone."

Risma looked down miserably and her lips forced her to smile.

"yes already. Then Mom goes home first. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet you...

"...keep your health, El."

I fell silent and threw away my face as Risma got up and left the Apartment. It's not that I'm happy that my heart is throbbing pain and my chest is so tight.

Meeting with Risma did reopen the pain that had been healed for a long time, but seeing her persistence to meet me, this fear even aggressively haunt and gnaw me.

I'm afraid if I go back to doing good he's back to not caring about me.

I'm also afraid that if I go back to hoping for him he'll go back too.

And I was so much more afraid that if I went back to begging him not to go again, he would disappear and I would never see him again.

My life will be worse than ever. And I don't want to experience that anymore.

I thought back to Milly and Adit's words to me.

Make peace.

One word that makes me scared right now.

If I want to make peace, will I not be left behind again?

If I want to make peace, will I not be in pain anymore?

If I want to make peace, will I be happy?

My heart was tapped when the word happy came to my mind. For me, I still don't know what it's like to be happy. Would I not be afraid again if I were happy?

"Lo deserves to be happy El. It's enough to hurt yourself. Forgive yourself and also forgive your past, it is difficult but try to open your heart so you know what your heart wants. If the pain lasts a little, I guarantee it won't be long."

"I do not understand until where the pain attacked and perched in brother. But try to meet with aunt Risma and talk to her. If your brother's heart still hurts when with Aunt Risma, go slowly. But if not, follow the wishes of his brother's heart what he wants. "

Yes, I still have the desire of the heart that I deliberately dwell in my fear all this time.

I hurriedly moved, opened the door and ran towards the elevator door. I let out a sigh of relief as Risma was still standing there waiting for the elevator door to open.

No need to think long, I immediately pulled her and hugged her tightly. The more I tightened my embrace, my tears came down without excuse, and my body trembled violently.

After a long time of restraint, I now allow my heart to control myself completely. I wanted to hug her, hold her firmly and ask her not to leave my life.

If I have to do anything, as long as he doesn't go I will.

I want Risma to see me often, I want Risma to cook my favorite food again, I want Risma to pay attention to me again, I want Risma back on my side, I want Risma to come back on my side, continue to accompany me until the end of our lives and I will do the same to him.

To Risma, to my mother. The mother I still love very much.

My cry deepened as Risma returned my embrace just as tightly, crying as if her body was even more trembling than mine. Until we were both mired on the floor and enjoyed the moment tonight with tears.

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