Mom's Not a Prostitute
Outdated Notes
Hopefully, with the book, you can get to know the real figure of your mother. And may no longer regret being born from her womb.
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"Tiara, you're finally home, son." Mother looked at Tiara with a burning sense of happiness. The clear swing made his pair of eyeballs sparkle.
Tiara could not help but cry, her shoulders shaken violently.
"Help, Son!" ask Mom with a voice that gets thinner. Then immediately Tiara clutched the frail body that looked increasingly weak. Mom's hands were coiled around Tiara's back. They share the warmth of the chest.
"I'm sorry, son. Mak has disappointed you. My mother failed to be the one to be proud of." Mom's voice choked up and sent out a roar of grief. Tiara tightened her hold, intending to prevent Mother from speaking any further. He didn't come home to argue about it anymore.
Late, another voice called out to Tiara. It became clearer, until Tiara could recognize the voice belonged to Imran. Tiara opened her eyes slowly, finding the panicked face of the piercing-cheeked youth.
"Why am I here?" Tiara circulated the view. He's in the hospital room.
"So you fainted."
Tears flooded both cheeks after realizing that the encounter with Mother had only occurred in the subconscious.
"Where's my mak?"
"I was sent home in an ambulance. Aunt Siska has to leave you. He was in the ambulance to take care of everything. We also have to go home soon to prepare for your mother's funeral."
Something rumbling in Tiara's heart right now was extremely difficult to decipher in words. Not just sorry. More than just sad. And more acute than guilt. Everything is twisted into one and makes it difficult to think clearly. He did not even have time to hug Mom, kiss her hands, apologize, hear her voice, or even just accept her gaze. It was what made Tiara's tears even more swift as the bitter seconds strung together by her side.
***
Mother's body buried before magrib. Tiara would not have moved from the navel had it not been forced by Aunt Siska. He was going to accompany her all night. It took about an hour before Aunt Siska and Imran managed to persuade her to go home. After the mourners came home, Tiara was alone on the terrace. Imran who could not bear to see the condition of Tiara like that intended to accompany. But then she realizes Tiara needs space to herself, making peace with fate while easing whatever makes her chest still tight.
"Don't be too long in sadness. Now your mother has found a much quieter place. Rather he should stay here against the disease that preys on his cells sadistically. In addition, his life is never calm because it thinks of you every day." Although he did not mean to, the sentence just now cornered Tiara even more.
Tiara did not turn her head, her gaze blankly glared. It was as if searching for a glimmer of light capable of making him calmer.
"Actually your mother had long known there was a lump in her breast that occasionally hurt. But it was just an ordinary lump. He only told me after the lump was getting sick more often. As a village with little knowledge, we only treat smart people. Only your loved ones turned out to be of no help at all. I often ask him to see a doctor. But he said he loved the money, mending saved for your needs later. He was always convinced that his illness was not something to worry about. It will heal on its own. But in the end his condition worsened and was forced to be rushed to the hospital. Only then did we know that he had breast cancer that was very acute. The doctor could do nothing. Any treatment he said was too late. Every day he was given painkillers. Just so he doesn't feel any pain in his last moments." The sentence of Aunt Siska was wet by tears that joined to decompose in each breath. She and Mom were not related to family, but the struggle of life that went through together made them like brothers. So many laughs and cries that they carved together.
Tiara. Guilt begins to drift in all directions. If he had not gone that time, his mother would not have had to endure and hide the malignant disease alone. He can certainly act as he should.
"After you leave, you don't know how difficult the days are. He keeps looking for you every day. I once accompanied him looking for a full day around the city, with nothing to gain. In the end we concluded, you are far away from this city. Maybe in a place hard to reach by villagers like us." Aunt Siska pauses, muffles tears. "He worked hard to raise money. He said to those of you who really want to be doctors. Although he himself does not understand how much money is needed to study in medicine. Even you yourself are not going home or not. And for all that, in the end he sacrificed his health. Even his life." Aunt Siska's stuck. Really can't continue his sentence.
Tiara was still staring blankly with her shoulders getting shaken. Sedu-sedannya also coloring the night that has never felt so bad.
"He decided to stop being a woman. So that when you come back, you will not be disappointed a second time. He was a laundry worker before we started a joint effort to raise money for the child who had left him."
Every sentence that was spoken by Aunt Siska incarnated thousands of arrows which then slammed into the heart of Tiara simultaneously. He could not imagine how hard the struggle went through Mom. For the sake of her who was currently cultivating the seeds of hatred. Regretting now really won't change things. God ... What kind of destiny is this?
"One thing she always feared, not having the chance to prove her sincerity as a mother, made you forgive and accept all her past. And it turned out to be true. Your hard heart made him miss that opportunity. You came home just to see his funeral. But it's so much better than nothing."
The words of Aunt Siska made the whole heart of Tiara even less clumsy. Her crying was completely broken now. Reverberating, meeting the occasional night hue decorated with gusts of wind.
"Your mother has nothing to inherit." Aunt Siska let out a long sigh while shrinking her tears. "This is all." Then he handed her a jewelry box and an old book. Tiara's hands trembled in receiving it. "The box of jewels contained the money he had collected all along. Actually he really wanted to give it to me directly." Aunt Siska paused, glancing at the fixated Tiara staring at the two objects in her hand. "In the book, he secretly wrote his unexpected life story that would be this dramatic. He wants you to read it. Hopefully, with the book, you can get to know the real figure of your mother. And may no longer regret being born from her womb."
Tiara ignored the jewelry box that was clearly contained. He was more interested in the old blue-covered book. He rubbed it slowly, as if feeling the warmth there. Still with trembling hands, he opened the first page after Aunt Siska returned inside, letting her freely chatter with a million of Mother's memories. On the yellowing sheet, as well as the slightly faded pen ink, Tiara saw the shadow of Mother's smile.
***
[Connected]
