Me, Him, And God

13. Disappointment

Today, the girl intends to fulfill the answer to her Lecturer's question a few days ago before she became a convert. He seemed to be smiling to himself as he continued to roll over on his bed.

"Ahh how will Mr Tio respond?" He muttered while holding back his laughter.

Tall

One message managed to get into the flat object lying next to the girl's head. He immediately checked it.

'Alina? You didn't forget, did you?'

'Of course I did not forget. What now, sir?'

'So, you get ready first. I wait at the usual place (CAFE FARMALA)'

'All right'

Such is the case that increasingly makes the girl wrong behavior. Messages to each other, but soon they will meet.

"O Allah, I still can't hijab" said the girl, who seemed to be breathing heavily while facing the mirror.

(Pov Tio)

Now I'm waiting for a girl, my own student, because we made an appointment to meet. I was just wearing a black shirt combined with black pants too. My views continued to circulate ensuring the arrival of my student, Alina.

There's a certain purpose I brought him here, to Cafe Farmala. However, it felt hard for me to say it, I was afraid that my promise at that time was just nonsense to Alina. But what power, this is not my decision, but my parents who now continue to urge that I get married quickly. It's strange!

"Asalamualaikum Sir?" The voice of a woman managed to break my daydream. I immediately turned my head, and sure enough, Alina was standing next to me with her cheerful face. I could not bear the feeling that I changed the expression of that face to be grim.

Ahhhhh, O Allah, I have to.

"E - ehh wa'alaikumsalam. Sit down" I said, letting him sit.

I immediately ordered the food and drinks we used to consume at times like this.

"Please sir" said one of the waiters, putting down some of my menu orders.

I just nodded, my mind completely confused today. I don't know where to start.

"Alinea? How's your development?" Ask the one who opened the silence.

"Ohh alhamdullilah sir, yes, although I am still not hijab," he replied while slightly revising his sitting position that looks clumsy.

"Oh. That, later also definitely can. All right," I leaned my back against the chair.

"Mmm Sir? Do I need to answer the question the other day?" Ask a little embarrassed.

Omg! How'this?

"Ahh Alina.you don't have to answer it,"

"Ma-I mean Father? How's yah?" He began to put on a confused expression.

"Actually, my goal is to bring you here to explain that you don't have to answer my question at that time, and. forget it as if nothing ever happened" I said forcefully.

"Did you just mess around?" Ask him who is starting to get angry.

"Not, not like that,"

"So I did not need to answer the question of the Father at that time, because you failed to intend to marry me? Right Sir?" He sighed at me with some questions that I myself was confused to answer which one first.

I exhaled my breath for a moment.

"No!" I slightly raised my tone and made Alina flinch a little.

"I. My parents have betrothed me to the woman of their choice. My parents urged me to get married quickly. However, I did not intend it on anyone else," I obviously tried to convince Alina.

"So.." I don't know why he just dropped his tears. I could at least bear to see a woman crying weakly in front of me.

"So I don't have to answer? Alright. I will fulfill

And..". He looked up from the chair and was about to leave.

"Thank you all this time.. You have become a man who can change my heart.

May you always be happy" he smiled forcibly but his eyes looked dewy. Sure enough, that disappointment was so reflected on her beautiful face.

"elina.. Alina this is not what you think it is" said I who tried to keep her away.

"Sorry sir, I have business" he said without regard to me. He just left me.

I sat back down, I rubbed my hair back.

God, I just want to marry that woman, not someone else. Please God, heal my parents' hearts so that I can choose my own path.

(Pov Author)

"Asalamualaikum," said Alina while entering her house that looks magnificent.

"Waalaikumsalam, do not eat first well,"

"No need Bi, Alina wants to go to the room first," a listless look etched on her face.

Bi Ina just stared at Alina's departure in confusion.

Silence becomes silent tonight.

I did not see the moon showing its beautiful light. A breeze entered the cracks of the room's window. Either tonight it will rain or indeed the atmosphere is designed like this by the divine. The room lights are dimmed.

In the corner of the bed, there was a girl who was lamenting her fate while hugging her legs. A few times her tears just spill, her eyes look swollen from crying.

"Oh my God, why does it feel so bad? Grievous..

I know, this was my first test. I know that you will not give him a test which his servant cannot pass. But why does this feel so heavy, O Allah," he said as he continued to sob.

Tall

Incoming message voice.

'Alina? Are you all right?'

Alina sniffed her phone for a moment, Mr. Tio.

He ignored it again.

Tok tok tok tok

"Lin? Can Papa come in?" Shouted a man.

Suddenly Alina immediately wiped away the tears that were still inundated on her face. He turned on the lights and rushed to open the door. But he seemed to be disrupting his intentions.

"Yes in Pah,"

Cclack

The door sounds open. Then came a man who was none other than Alina's real father.

Irawan just walked casually towards Alina's bed. He seemed to be asking his daughter something.

"Ahh Lin's. There was something Papa wanted to say," Irawan seemed very hesitant to say this.

"Just tell me Pah, what's wrong?" Alina confirmed her sitting position to be facing Irawan.

"It's time you guys found out about this,"

"dither. What the hell is this? How to be gini. Where's brother Fian? Brother Fian didn't know?" A million questions Alina threw at Irawan but Irawan only seemed confused to answer them.

"Your brother told me first. Staying you, Papa is just waiting for the right time after you guys mature," Irawan seemed to swallow his saliva deeply. Not ready to see his beloved daughter will cry in the next fate.

"Well, what's wrong?" Alina tried asking once more. Alina was swept away in the atmosphere and seemed to forget the burden that had just hit her. About love.

"Do you think Sasmita, your mother is your biological mother?" Irawan asked as he closed his eyes in fear.

"alright. Papa will tell you the truth. But you must be ready to accept the reality, son,"

"Actually..

Sasmita's not really your real mother, son. She is your connecting mother. But his affection is so sincere to you and your brother," Irawan was forced to say this to his two sons and daughters. Because the time was right for them to know, Irawan was forced to say this painful thing today, to Alina.

"Bah, please let Mama Pah. Mama is calm. Papa, don't do this,"

"Papa's not sick, son...

Listen Alina," Irawan held onto Alina's shoulders.

"You have to be strong, you have to be able to accept reality. Sasmita is your connecting mother!"

The girl seemed to melt with Irawan's words. He now seems to believe, he shed tears that he had long endured from earlier even though his eyes had dewy.

"Well, Papa's just kidding, right? Aye right?" Alina rubbed her tears rough.

Irawan just shook his head while smiling softly.

"Why Papa lied!

Why didn't Alina know!" Alina was crying. Then he held Irawan to calm his heart.

Unimagined, he just had to lose the figure of the man he loved, and now, destiny hit his mind again.

"Silent son, calm down. You still have Papa and Brother Fian. You must be strong. You have to be like your mother, she is a strong woman" Irawan said, crying bitterly. He rubbed Alina's fine hair.

"Then Alina's birth mother where Pah was," Alina said in tears.

"Your mother..

When you and Fian were kids.

Your mother was caught off guard by Papah's personal assistant, she was at a nightclub with a lot of men.

And...

He came home drunk. Papa was so unwilling to have a prostitute's wife. Finally, Papa kicked your mother out of the house.

And now.. Papa never saw your mother again. He disappeared until now. No one can find your mother. Then, Papah's friend, Sasmita or your mother, he likes you and Fian so much. She was a widow and divorced her husband because he could not have children. Papa feels sorry for both of you, Papa wants you to feel the complete affection of both parents. And.. Finally Papa and your Mother got married, "Irawan also explained his past and life history to Alina with a look of disappointment. Alina endlessly cried until her tears were almost drained.

"But Papa asked, has your mother ever treated you badly?"

"No Pah! Mama has never snapped Alina or made a mistake with Alina. Alina loves Mama so much, and eats her.. Alina couldn't believe that Mama wasn't Alina's biological mother," Alina tried to explain everything in tears. His feelings are so bad tonight.

"Rest first," Irawan then left Alina's room.

"Is that time possible.." Alina recalled the incident related to this statement.

Flashbacks

Alina was driving Sasmita to meet her fellow tourist. He deliberately invited Alina because at that time Alina had not much activity, especially she was still sitting on the bench of Junior High School.

Adhan isya reverberated, Alina immediately left her study table to take ablution. Then after that, he held a prayer session and performed night prayers.

Some rakaat was finished, he sat down before the power.

The girl complained all her heart's distress to the Khalik, she cried in do'a, weakly helpless when communicating with her Lord. Her tears were unceasingly flowing as she recalled the trials that were so debilitating to her mind now.

In the morning, the girl left her bed. Then clean it up first. He was getting ready for breakfast with his father and older brother.

"For Lin," said Irawan when he saw Alina coming down the stairs.

"Yes Pah" replied the girl who looked a little lethargic.

Alina pulled the chair and sat on it. With the position he was in front of Irawan.

"De, can't you today?" Ask Fian who tried to divert Alina's grief last night.

"Alina has no schedule anyway, but do not know later want to mengumpulin the same paper Dela," replied Alina while continuing to apply a few tablespoons of chocolate jam on the bread.

Fian simply nodded while slightly exhaling his breath.

The breakfast event also went with an atmosphere that felt awkward. There was no conversation between the three, just quiet being a tranquilizer to the atmosphere as well as the sound of spoons and forks colliding with each other.

"Alina, after finishing eating, Papa waited in the living room. There's something Papa wants to talk about." Said Irawan which made Alina and Fian immediately turned to look confused.

"Fian, you're coming too!" Tukas again.

The two nodded and resumed breakfast.

The girl was sitting by the bed while daydreaming about something. I don't know what he's thinking. The longing that he may be feeling now, the loss of the figure of our loved ones is painful. But do not make it our reference to forget the world. Trust me, fate is preparing a wonderful episode for you.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice something to get something. Between letting go, and getting are two things that both feel heavy when done.

Tok tok tok tok

The knock on the door sounded from outside, the girl immediately reflexively turned her head then walked over to open the door.

"De, let's go down. Papa already called," said Fian without further ado.

"Yaudah" replied Alina. It then passed from before Fian regardless of him.

Now the three of them were in the same room. I don't know why the atmosphere became so awkward and tense.

"Alden, Papa... Wanna ask. Who has led you to Islam?" Irawan asked without being at length again.

Alina slightly frowned her brows hearing what her Papa had just said.

"Ustadzah Nurul pah" replied Alina slowly.

"Who is he? Why do you know him?" Ask her again.

Alina also explained the beginning of her meeting with Ustadzah Nurul as well as who had guided her to Islam. While Fian and Irawan only listen to what Alina is expecting. Sometimes Irawan seemed to nod small sign of understanding what was uttered by his daughter.

"Alright, tomorrow you will meet the person who has guided you!" Alina is getting confused as to what Irawan really wants.

"What's Pah doing?"

"Not much to ask, just take Papa tomorrow."

"Yes,"

"And one more thing that Papa has to talk about. Papa, and Fian have agreed to betroth you to a man who is none other than Papa's own business friend,"

Of course Irawan's statement made Alina shocked to death. How not? There is no wind, there is no rain, suddenly the smell of marriage is increasingly open. Alina did not respond to Irawan's request. Because he had to continue his S1 education.

"What the hell is it! Why is there suddenly all matchmaking! Brother Fian again!" Ketus Alina who seemed to not accept the decision of Fian and Irawan.

"Due on, be patient. Later in the same description Papa," Fian tried to calm Alina who looked rumbling.

"So this is Alina. Papa does not want to see you constantly grieving, especially after you know this family history. Papa deliberately betrothed you, so that you have a companion in life who might be able to eliminate your sadness,"

"But Pah, do you think that with Alina getting married let alone with a man that Alina herself does not know, Alina will be happy?"

"Of course Papa guarantees it. Whose names his parents wouldn't mistake for his daughter's son's best,"

"Just next week the groom-to-be will come to our house. You're getting engaged" she continued.

"But Pah," Alina seemed resigned to Irawan's decision. He could at least argue especially with regards to his parents.

"Alina," said Fian and clenched his hands with a sign of encouragement.

Losing the figure of the person we admire, is something that most suffocates. No, not his body, but his attitude. What he was once the most influential man in life, now there are only traces that speak. This is how it feels to live on the round of the world, not always what we want, we can get. Go with your life, and your story. Happy street`).