Me, Him, And God

11. Expressing true feelings (Tio)

(Tio)

Actually, I took my student to Farmala Cafe not only wanted to know about the news. But also I slipped another intention and of course, maybe this is too short. But I could not lie any further to my heart. I want to tell you today.

Today, she seems to me to be very graceful with her body wrapped only in white t-shirts and jeans, but in stark contrast to her pure white skin color and also her ideal body in my opinion. But I tried to keep my eyes on him because he was still not my master, I just glanced at him. It was when he didn't notice my eyes seeing her sweet face.

"O Allah, why is my heart dug like this?" I rubbed my chest slowly while adjusting my breath.

I still see Alina playing on her phone. And once in a while, he drank his favorite drink, lemon tea.

Of course I always ordered it when I was with him.

"Hmm, Alina?" It was me who started to sweat cold.

"Yes?" He put his cell phone down for a moment and slightly shifted the glass from before him.

He looked at me plainly, and seemed curious as to what I was about to say.

"Actually, I have other intentions to invite you here" said I who began to be nervous.

Alina just slightly tilted her head a sign that she was getting curious about what I was going to say next.

"I want you to be my companion forever" I said confidently.

Alina seemed to cover her mouth with one hand while rewinding her body.

"I mean Father? I don't understand" he said carefully.

"I'm going to propose to you later. And I'm gonna go head-to-head with your dad,"

"But sir, I am not a good woman, especially I am an atheist and very contrary to the personality of the Father who obeys religion," he expressed all his shortcomings to me. What a plain girl.

"I know, but I'm not as good as you think. But for some reason, my heart says that you are my destiny. I have been practicing Istikharah prayer, and in my dreams, I have always met you. I am not messing with my words. As for you as an atheist, I am very confident that God will give you the best way on this matter,"

Alina doesn't believe my words anymore. He seemed to be swallowing his saliva inside.

"But sir, I think.." he turned his seat down. "I'm sorry, I refused you". He breathed slowly. I see my face drawn on his face.

"Explain your reasons that can convince me that you are not my destiny Alina!" I said in a higher tone. I can't believe my student will bully me, but I'm trying to stay calm, too. I slightly leaned forward while folding my hands on the table.

"To be honest, I have a different feeling when you are always with me. And always be that light when I am in the dark. I feel that the Father is not my Lecturer. Except." he did not continue his words. His explanation gave him more chances to accept me.

"But I try to think that everything is the same. And assume, that you just feel that I am just a Student Father. And.the reason I rejected you, I think, there are still many Muslim women out there who are much better than me. I feel nothing compared to my father. Or rather, my degree is much lower than Father's" he continued with a forced smile.

"That's all?" My question's short.

He's not flinching. But I'm sure, I can definitely melt her heart someday.

"But..do you intend to marry me because you want to make me part of Islam?" He tried to investigate my intention to propose to him. I was thinking, it turns out getting a woman like her, can be this complicated. I was wrong in judging someone.

In my opinion, he is not religious, but very logical and good-natured. That's where I got interested in him.

"I'm not like that Alina. My intention to marry you, I am sincere because I am very confident that you are my destiny. As I said, I only hope that the divine will work wonders for you. Just hoping for Alina, not asking. Since all human destiny is well written in the divine script" I assure my feelings this time.

Alina seemed to be hypnotized by my answer, indeed this is my purpose in marrying her. It is on the basis of the belief that he is my true companion.

He seemed to think about it more deeply, his index finger slightly tapped on the Cafe table. His breathing seemed a little irregular.

"I'll think about it first, sir," he said hesitantly.

Ahhh I leaned my back against the back of the chair. Finally, he wanted to rethink. And that means, he also reversed his decision to molest me. I smiled happily.

"Well, I will always wait for your answer. My future aunt," I showed her a sweet smile. He seemed wrong with my look.

"Yes, I'm. permission farewell first. I had to go back to writing the novel," he hurriedly tidied up his clothes and left me just like that. I smiled again, my heart was relieved when I said something that was quite a burden in my heart.

"Oh Allah, may I not go wrong" I murmured as I looked down.

(Airina)

I walked in a very hurry. Want to feel her quickly go home, sleep, and can rest in peace. In my heart, I still did not expect that my Lecturer had any special feelings for me. Especially if you intend to propose to me. My body still trembled a little while I was walking now, my hair was falling apart from the wind, but I just ignored and did not care.

My feeling right now is to want to go home fast and be able to think about it at home.

I reached into the cell phone from my sling bag, and intended to send a message to Dela.

Fill in message :

'La? Where's lu?'

I paused my steps for a moment, waiting for a reply to a Whatsapp message from Dela. The sun began to rise, and showed its bright yellow light.

I clucked in annoyance, my message unrequited by him. Now I am standing on the side of the highway which is located a bit far from Cafe Farmala. I'm going to hire a taxi to get home.

Tall

I was surprised, I immediately opened the phone I was holding. Ahhh, it turns out that the message was not from Dela. From Mr. Tio.

"Sir Tio?" I immediately opened Watsapp's message from him.

Fill in message :

'Alina? You're home yet?'

I sighed for a moment.

'Not Sir'

Huh huh? I was surprised. How not? The message I just sent, instantly ticked two blue. That is, Mr. Tio immediately saw a message from me.

'Go home, don't stop by anywhere!

Get picked up or you take the car?'

'No, I'm waiting for a taxi'

'Hmmm'

I hit my foot on the ground. I thought he would offer me to go home with him. Apparently not. HMMM reply only.

Uhuk uhuk

I heard a cough coming from my right side. I am no stranger to that voice. I also looked.

"Wahh..Alina yeah?" He threw a smile at me.

"Ustadzah how are you? What is Ustadzah Nurul doing?" I questioned the reason he was standing by the side of the road like this.

"Alhamdulillah good. Here, I'm waiting for a taxi" he said.

"You yourself how are you? Waiting for an invitation" he asked.

"I'm good Ustadzah. I'm also waiting for the Ustadzah taxi,"

"Wahh same dong," he slightly chuckled.

"Ustadzah, we're just one cab," I offered to take a taxi home with him. Not much to say, he immediately accepted my offer.

I sat next to him in a taxi seat with Ustadzah Nurul. She looked very graceful with a light blue hijab, and a long white dress. He placed his black bag on his lap. His face looks cool, his body is bigger than me, a little shaken because the road we went through a lot of gravel scattered. She often reveals the position of her hijab. There was no conversation between us, I was afraid that if any of my words hurt the day of Ustadzah Nurul. Realize that, I prefer to be quiet.

"Ustadzah wants to go home?" I tried to open up a little bit.

"Ahh no, I intend to go to my cousin's house," he often wears a smile ayu to me. Even though her age is no longer young, but I think her face still looks beautiful.

"Oh yes," he took out a small gift from his bag that was quite large. The color is bright red, and decorated with yellow ribbons.

"This, I'm sure, one day you need this," he gave me the small gift, I don't know what it is. I can guess that it was a book. I immediately accepted it.

"This is what Ustadzah is?" I said while watching carefully the gift I was holding.

He didn't answer my question, but just smiled.

"Ahh well, thank you Ustadzah," I said

"Sawangsulna,"

I didn't understand what language he was using, but I guessed it was a reply from thanks.

I don't know why it feels like I don't want to put the gift, I want it to feel like I keep grasping without letting go.

Ahhh finally, my feet again stepped on the most comfortable place, the room. I put a sling bag, a gift from Ustadzah Nurul, and my cell phone on the study table which is located a little distance from the bed.

I'm approaching the bed. And, ahhhh I managed to stick my whole body on a soft and comfortable mattress.

I wanted to close my eyes, but something came to my mind. Mr Tio, yes! Mr. Tio. I remembered her sweet words earlier when she said she intended to marry me.

I patted my cheek a little, hoping it was just a dream. But apparently not, this is happening.

The clock near my bed is still at 11:30. That is, I still have time to take a nap before late twilight.

Tall

Just now I closed my eyes, the sound of chat notifications watsapp. I spun both balls of my eyes while grunting in annoyance.

I got out of bed lazily. I picked up my phone that I had put on the study table. Then I sat in the study chair holding my phone. I immediately opened my whatsapp message.

Fill in message :

'Lin? Tonight, Papa and Brother Fian may not have gone home. There is still a lot of work to do, plus there is a meeting schedule. Bi Ina again to the market, you can't papa left both with Bi Ina?'

My eyes move left and right. There are quite a few messages that Papa sent.

'Oh yes no papa Pah, Papa healthy😁'

I waited for a moment to reply to a message from Papa, but I never got a notification.

Surprisingly, I always forgot to turn off my phone data when it was finished. There is always a message coming in.

I put my phone back on the table, then continued my break that had paused.

I was in a beautiful place. But I don't know this place, the cool air and the wind make me very comfortable here. I saw my body wrapped in white clothes. I saw all around me there were many fragrant flowers. The green grass is neatly arranged like a rug. The clouds are cotton-shaped, adorning the bright blue sky. Strangely enough, I did not see the sun up there. I tried to make sure I came back, I put my head up. But I did not meet. Right, I didn't see the sun, but this place isn't dark, it's neither hot nor cold. I think this place is awkward, no one at all. Just me and silence. This place is so flat, there are no mountains or hills. Hang there are only shady trees and green groves and flowers of various types.

I walked west, picking one of the flowers that somehow, I didn't know the name of this flower myself. But when I picked up, the fragrant flowers stuck in my hand.

"Huh?" I'm witnessing increasingly awkward events. The flower I picked, from the stalk, grew back a new flower very quickly. Even in a matter of seconds. I then plucked another one to make sure, and right! The flowers are growing again. Unthinkable with reason and logic.

"Where am I now?" I screamed as hard as I could until my throat hurt. But no one mengubris my words, only a breeze that again answers all my curiosity.

"Alinaa," I heard a familiar voice. Yeah, I'm sure it's a sound..

"Mama?" My tongue felt faint when I found out who was someone far ahead of me. Just a word I can say. I still can't believe I'm gonna see my mom again.

I'm a little closer to him. I can smell with my nose, that his body is so fragrant, his hair is neat, and dressed all white, just like me. On his head perched a silver-colored crown decorated with a red pomegranate stone located in the middle and side sides of his crown.

"Mamaaaaaa," I ran towards her and hugged her body very tightly. The longing that I had kept since his departure, now a little treatable. My back is rubbed gently every now and then.

"Mama, Alina wants me to be with Mama," I cried a mouthful, couldn't stand her taste.

"Son, don't you have to know. Mama is happy here. Already na, do not cry what has happened," he let go of his embrace while holding both hands.

"No Mah, Alina wants to be here with Mama" I said forcefully.

"Son, your business in the world is still not finished.

There's something you have to account for first" he said, holding both of my shoulders.

"I mean Ma?"

"FATE!

Life, you have not found the true meaning of life. Be part of Islam, believe me. Islam is the best destiny goal you have to land."

"But Ma..."

"Be a true Muslim. Obey the commandments of God, son. With that, Mama will be calmer here though.." my mother smiled expectantly. I was so hard at digesting every sentence my mother said, my mind was fooled by the beauty of this place. And unfortunately, my mother knows about my actions now.

"You want to stay here?" Ask her while looking around.

"Ma-want," I said with sparkling eyes.

"Islam! Islam! Islam!" He said it over and over again, then it just disappeared like a cloud blowing in the wind. I looked around for my mother by trying to scream as loud as possible, but there was no answer at all.

A plant that is still a seedling, needs strong roots to keep growing Meaning, every human must have a handle on life to stay standing and predict destiny as to what next will happen`).