MAN_KU

Bayu Blue Diary (Last Page).

A pushy gaze pointed towards a diary book above my desk, whether I should be happy or sad at this moment. I open my desk drawer and then I take out my diary which is exactly the same as Bayu's.

I put the two of them in line while rubbing them slowly. Again my tears just fell, the feeling of tightness again ambushed in the cavity of my heart.

All the memories reappear one by one in the memory as if reluctant to be forgotten. The silhouette of the shadow of the missed figure came with a smile even in the distance.

"I miss bang" I murmured.

The diary book has become a silent witness of the beautiful togetherness that the two had passed. When happy, sad, crying and laughter all gushed out there.

Shaking, I wiped my tears and grabbed Bayu's diary. I went to bed and threw myself down while tightly hugging the diary.

My tears came back even though I was hard to hold. I curled up on a bed that felt cold, as cold as my heart that was slowly beginning to die.

"Why would everyone lie to me bang? Why is everyone hiding everything about you? And... Why did you also treat me like a fool all this time bang? Am I not entitled to know about you either? Was all this time all the affection you gave me was fake?" I'm full of tears.

For almost an hour I cried on the bed, so I slowly changed my position to sit. I took a deep breath before I finally ventured to read Bayu's blue diary.

First page...

'Hay Bee, confused as to what you want to write. However, surely Abang thanks for the love of Brother, the love of Brother, because it is present in your life and gives this book also for Brother. Brother is happy to know you, and you will always be by your side. I Love You, My Bee.''s.'

The sweet smile on my lips when I read it, I know Bayu never messed with his feelings for me. I went back to the second page, again my smile just came out.

'Abang very upset today, know not Bee that Brother was punished. Just because you forgot to bring the task of the paper Mr. Bas. But Abang was happy too, because it turns out Bee was also punished by Miss Riska. So we're going to get punished together.

Know not the Bee, do not meet you for a second just make the day and your heart is not because it feels. Stay by my side, Bee... Whatever happens later. I Love You, My Bee.''s.'

I continued to read page after page with smiling lips even though I laughed at her outpouring of heart.

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'Bee is the last sheet in the diary that you wrote as the ending of the story. Like Bee said that you want to write down all the beautiful things that you go through. But sorry, this time the last part is not a beautiful story that you give. A secuil restlessness Brother who can not be buried in the depths of Brother's heart.

Brother was scared, this time Brother was really scared...

Brother is afraid of losing you Bee. Brother is afraid,

I don't know why God gave you this pain, Bee. Until Brother was on the verge of despair for fear of not being able to hold your hand forever.

Bee, promise me you'll never leave brother. Like Brother promised Bee back then. Let's say if we'll always be together without being separated, Bee.'

Broken already my tears read the last page of the diary, his heart crumbled when he remembered what had happened to the young man he loved so much.

With great difficulty I continued reading Bayu's writing while rubbing my tears rough.

'Bee there is something you want to tell me, if you feel pain all this time. Sick brother, away from you...

Sick brother, can't see you...

Brother is sick, because he has to accept God's fate if you have to separate from him...

I don't know why Brother's hunch says we can't see each other again. It was as if many clouds were covering our two views.

Bee, brother loves you very much, you love brother too right?'

With a cry as much as I nodded my head answering Bayu's question in silence.

Bee, can you ask for one thing? And I hope Bee does.'

Again I nodded silently, wiping my tears continuously dripping down my cheeks.

'Promise me that Bee will always be happy, promise me that Bee will always smile. And promise me Bee will never forget Brother, promise me Bee.'

I'm getting more and more excited, "I promise, I will never forget you." Overshipped.

'If one day, my brother leaves...

Brother hopes, Bee will always be happy even without Brother on the side accompanying. Let all the taste of Brother who takes care of Bee, let the warmth of your affection accompany Bee until finally find a replacement for Abang in the heart of bee.'

"No, I can't, it's so impossible." Mumbles.

'Promise to live better without your brother, Bee. Promise that...

Brother loves you, may God unite us later...'

Hix... Hix...

I hugged Bayu's diary book tightly while curled up on the bed. I cried as much as I could, in the end I felt the pain as well.

"Why is everything so this bang? why did you finally leave me? why didn't you keep your promise?" I said crying bitterly.

...****************...

The flashback

"Do you know what is more painful than loss?"

"Because of betrayal?" I shook my head.

"The most painful thing about losing is when we are left away without us being able to see and even touch again. Not because we're still in the same world but we're separated by a different world." I said.

"What if it happens to us?" Lirih Bayu's.

"There's no such thing as what if, even I've never imagined a thing about it." I answered and clasped Bayu's hand tightly.

"I can't imagine my life without my brother, how can I face the future?" Continue me.

"The gate will always be in Bee's heart, it's Brother's promise."

"I believe it, and I'll charge for it later." My smile made Bayu smile.

Flashback off

...****************...

I clutched my bed linen tightly, feeling annoyed and regretful and disappointed and longing to merge into one. Tearing apart the defense of my heart that is getting more fragile. Even all the laughter disappeared in an instant was swallowed up by the wound from loss.

"The promise is no longer useful bang, there's nothing more to do since you left me. Now how am I supposed to live my day without you bang? tell me." Gumamku.

'You'll find that happiness Bee. Keep moving forward, I am always with you to accompany your every step. Promise to always be happy Bee, I Love You.'

The whisper was soft, I covered my mouth with tears. I knew Bayu would always be by my side, "I Love You Too, Brother." I whispered softly and smiled in the middle of my cries.