LOVE THE EXPATRIATE

10. The Lighted Sunscreen (2)

Edward realized Mikaila's sentence was a bit quivering. She saw the woman's eyes glazed over. And before his tears fell, he quickly grabbed the woman. Mikaila sobbed in the man's arms. He poured out all his tears in Edward's chest. The woman whom Edward had seen so far was very confident, this time looking weak and fragile.

“I'll be ready to hear your story if it can lighten your load a little bit, Mikaila.” said Edward.

“For what?” the woman was still in Edward's arms.

“For I can also feel what you're feeling, Mikaila. We are both out of Europe. We don't want to be tied to each other. There may be more similarities between us.”

“What do you want to know about me, Ed?” ask again.

“Anything, Mikaila. Maybe about your mother who now you yourself do not know where.” replied Edward.

“We do have the same past, Ed.”

“That is, Mikaila?’

The woman took a deep breath, as if she wanted to accumulate a lot of oxygen into her lungs, so she was strong to tell a story. Mikaila says that her origins are the same as Edward's. Born to two different parents. His father is Russian, and his mother is from China. His parents met while his father was serving in Burqin, an area of China bordering Russia.

“My mother's family was very poor, so my grandfather was very happy when my father wanted to marry his mother and bring her back to Moscow. Because it means my grandfather's burden will be reduced. Moreover, grandfather gets money from the father as compensation his son will be taken away”

“And finally your mother married your father and brought to Moscow?” edward asked, nodding the woman.

Mikaila's mother hopes her fate will change after crossing into Russia. But it might have been his mother's destiny, if his suffering had never ended. She did come out of her family's poverty hole, but went to the cruelty prison of Dimitri, her husband.

“But after arriving in Moscow, she found out that her husband was rude and temperamental. Dad used to beat up mom just for the little things. My mother did not speak Russian fluently, so her communication with the neighborhood was hampered. Maybe it's one of the triggers."

"And father's behavior became more so when my sister was born.”

Mikaila stopped her story. Now she's back crying. Edward hugged her.

“Earlier one day mom was hit with a piece of iron by dad. Because of this, my mother could no longer stand up. He had to crawl to the bathroom. I just cried seeing it without being able to help her. Because dad threatened to kick me out if he did that.” Mikaila explained on the sidelines of her sobbing.

Edward led her to sit down to be calmer. He himself took the other seat, then sat in front of the woman.

“Until when your mother survives.” asked Edward while holding her hand.

Mikaiala looked far away as if she was remembering the last days with her mother.

“I still remember, it was autumn of 1995. I'm still ten years old. Mom said that she would go far with my sister.”

“At that time I realized that my parents were divorced. Maybe mom feels that her body is no longer able to withstand the torment of dad.”

“But maybe your mother could last that long because of you, Mikaila. He will leave after you are big enough and understand the problems of his parents.”

“Ia. You're right, Ed.” said Mikaila. “Mommy really loves me. And I won't let him, if he takes me away.”

“How about your sister?” ask Edward.

“Mother took her away. Dad didn't stop him because he didn't like my sister.”

“Why?”

“Because he doesn't look like father at all. He looks more like my mother.” he said making Edwrad stunned.

“So have you ever searched for their whereabouts?”

“I'm very sure that mom is back to her hometown at the border. When I was leaving for Munich, I asked for the address where my mother used to live. But I never wanted to tell him. I don't know what the old man's heart is made of.” he said.

Mikaila was silent for a moment while wiping away her tears.

“When I sleep I often dream about them, Ed. In my dream my mother and sister walked across the cold, desolate Siberian wilderness. They are stumbling, lost, confused, and cold.” Mikaila said in between her cries.

“Maybe because you miss them so much that you get carried away by dreams. Hopefully they have now lived a quiet life.” said Edward rubbed Mikaila's back to strengthen it.

After the departure of her mother and sister, Mikaila lives with her abusive father. He was never treated harshly by Dimitri. But psychically, the old man had tortured him more viciously than when he beat his wife first. Dimitri always dictated his daughter's life, so Mikaila felt like she was just his father's puppet who was always treated as he pleased. All decisions Mikaila made had to be with Dimitri's consent.

Edward asked what his life decision was not of his own accord but of his father's.

“When I was in college majoring in science, it was also on my father's orders. My soul is not there. That’s not my passion.”

“So what are your ideals?"

“Do you, what exactly were my ideals from childhood, Ed?" he looked at Edward.

"I want to be a pianist. I always dreamed of joining a large orchestra and performing in front of thousands of spectators. But dad won't let me.”

When he graduated from college and earned a Bachelor of Science with cumlaude predicate, it does not mean his father is satisfied. He recommended his daughter to a pharmaceutical company in Germany. And unfortunately Mikaila, he was accepted into the company. After that, Mikaila always spent all her time in the cold and quiet lab room. Winding with tubes containing chemicals sometimes until late at night.

“So why would I go back there, if only to meet a cruel and ambitious man who deliberately wanted to dump me?” said the woman was rhetorical.

Edward was silent.

“There are no good memories there that I can tell you about, Ed. Unlike people who visit Continental Club it.”

“But thanks to your father, you have a good job, Mikaila. You can have a car and an apartment. And someday you can raise your career.”

“But what does it all mean if I'm not happy, Ed?”

Edward was silent. He did not expect that the woman who is beautiful, smart, and successful in that career turned out to keep a gloom in him.

“Because of that, Ed. I don't want to make a commitment to any man. I don't want to be hurt like my mom because of a bond.”

“You don't have to do that if your heart doesn't want to, Mikaila.” Edward said.

“Ed..” call Mikaila.

“Ya?”

“Will you stay here tonight?”

Edward did not answer. He simply nodded with a smile at Mikaila's question. Edward understood that the woman's emotions had been drained after he gave the confession. Mikaila needs to sleep in her arms to be calmer. After all, the desire in the man had also been held back for a long time.

The wind from the bay blew even firmer, crossing the buildings, until finally arriving on their balconies. The stars in the sky suddenly disappeared. It looks like Jakarta will soon be raining.

“We moved inside yes. Here the air has started to cool.” invite Edward whisper to Mikaila. And without waiting for his approval, the man had already carried Mikaila's body into the room.