LOOKING FOR RAIN

Relinquished it

I still cannot answer what Rangga had told me, because it felt like being stabbed - a lot of thorns.

I was in this position a few years ago, and today it is even more painful because Rangga did it with my own sister-in-law even though she is a widow and is free to choose anyone to replace my brother but why the choice fell to Rangga and likewise with Rangga why he did it with my brother-in-law, the person I love, the person I trust, and has become my role model.

It's hard to believe.

I looked down and it was hard to talk.

Yank, sorry yank..i khilaf ...

yank talk yank... say I'm evil or I'm a traitor or whatever yank.don't shut up yank.

I am still silent a thousand languages ignore the words - said Rangga who called me.

Why is my life like this, what mistakes have I made so that for the second time the people I love betrayed me so cruelly.

The old wounds can only disappear 1 year but suddenly new wounds appear deeper and wider.

Santi Ma'am ... why mbak do this to me. I said I was almost inaudible.

For almost an hour I was silent and had to make a decision right now on our relationship.

I raised my head and saw Rangga who was still staring at me with a glare.

Between fear and sadness mixed in the face of Rangga when looking at me, even deep regret I can feel in him, but all has happened can not be repeated again, he said, there are a lot of hearts at stake in this, there are also David and Santi.

I have to mature in making decisions.

No. I said while wiping the tears on my cheek.

Let's end all our stories, and I let you go together with Santi's mom, I'm sincere in your heart for others, I said heavily.

Rangga cried to hear my answer, but he could not avoid and had to take responsibility for what he had done.

Put, ... I'm sorry that as much as you can't keep the trust you're giving.

I am sorry for the hurt in your heart and thank you for being with us this year, Rangga said, holding tightly to my hand.

Sorry put.. sorry.

I could only look him in the face one last time.

We both stared at each other in silence, not knowing what to say anymore only our gazes could convey something that could not be revealed through words.

Pilu, sad, disappointed, pain mixed into one in the container of my heart.

But I have to let go and let go.

Lara I didn't call but she came suddenly giving pain, a heart that healed wounded because of her, the direction of my steps was not in line with her, she said, even that hand came off without me asking.

In my lara I want the rain to come to give coolness in my words, I long for the rain to come to remove my wound.

I really don't like any of this, but I can't resist it either.

Give me rain, Lord, so that this wound and lara will be carried away by the rain.

Rela .... I'm willing....

After the death of Rangga I was still stuck in the corner of the table with the arrival of rain this night, and I still hold a letter from Mbak Santi which was entrusted by Rangga.

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