Korean Story Set

goodbya summers

Summer is always a farewell among us.

“we're like back when we were in school. Do you remember when we were punished for not doing the job first?” kyungsoo asked opening a conversation between us

“of course I still remember it” answered me



Five years ago, when we were in high school, we were together. We're like lovers, aren't we? or more than that? the question my girlfriends always ask me. Where I am is Kyungsoo. We go to school together, study together, play together, and get punished together. I still remember the night before Kyungsoo and I were punished. At that time Kyungsoo came to my house carrying a stack of video games that he had just bought. Kyungsoo the game maniac was my nickname for him.

“what do you want to do these nights come to my house carrying that pile of video games Kyungsoo?”

“certain to play all these games with you Jihyo”

“if you want to play games at your house. Why go all the way to my house?”

“Dad and Mom are at home. They are very noisy, so I can not concentrate to play all these games”

Kyungsoo always does things that surprise me. I knew Kyungsoo was running away that night. Without Kyungsoo telling me I can already read his behavior whenever Kyungsoo is in trouble.

That night we spent time together playing all the games Kyungsoo brought. As usual when I was with him I always felt happy until I forgot about everything else in the world, including the mathematical tasks that must be collected tomorrow. Stupidly none of us were aware of the task. Kyungsoo and I are drowning in happiness.

The next day when the teacher told all the children to collect the task book I just realized I had not completed the task. We finally had to serve the punishment together.

Right now walking next to her through this hallway, the hallway of our first class, I unknowingly couldn't hide my smile. Like a dream come true after 5 years of graduating from this school and parting ways with her, today I can go back to seeing her face and smile. The hallway of this class bears witness to our former mischief. Have I gone crazy? considering when we were punished first why is it so fun?

You are me and I am you. These words that Kyungsoo always tells me whenever I get into trouble.

“Jihyo anyway today you should come to the school summer festival. I'll sing there, okay?”

“ah. You're interrupting my holiday. I don't want to come”

“ayolah.. You must come! I don't want to know”

At first I did not intend to come, like having a sixth sense I felt like something bad would happen to me if I came to the show. But the phone call from him made me waver. I knew Kyungsoo had prepared the best song to sing on the show. I also knew Kyungsoo had trained hard for his performance that day. On the grounds of friendship I finally decided to come to the show.

Spring festivals are always held in the school grounds. A stage larger than previous years was already standing firmly in the middle of the field. Dozens of stands that showcase various creations of students are already lined around the field. The atmosphere of the school became very different with a variety of decorations that had been made from a week before this event was held.

This event is always awaited by all students except me. I hate crowds, maybe that's why I don't have many friends outside of my class. I am difficult to adapt to the environment and new people, especially I phobia crowds. Being in a crowd will make me feel dizzy.

That day when I arrived at school, I immediately looked for him. I went backstage hoping Kyungsoo was there. Appropriately. She was with her appearance at the time which made me a little surprised. Kyungsoo is getting ready backstage. Kyungsoo is handsome with that sky blue shirt.

“oh! you've come. I'll be performing in 15 minutes. Before I perform you can sit here, I know you're dizzy to see people passing by outside right?” only Kyungsoo knows my hobby.

“ah no need. I came here because I want to encourage you. After this I'm going out, I want to go around looking at stand”

“are you sure it's okay to walk without me?” silly question you always ask me.

“yak! I am not a child who can be lost if no one is there. Besides this is my school too, why should I worry”

“hahaha alright, take good care of yourself”

I think there's still time before Kyungsoo performs so I can go around looking at the stand. After all this is my first time coming to the school spring festival since I went to school here so I won't waste my time.

During my conversation with Kyungsoo backstage, it turned out that there was a group of seniors watching me. They are Kyungsoo fans. I just found out that Kyungsoo has quite a lot of fans after the events at the festival. I know that Kyungsoo is famous for having a good voice. Kyungsoo often fills out school events. But I never thought that he was so famous, especially among seniors.

As it engrossed around the stand the senior horde approached me. I ignored them because I felt I had no business with them. One of the seniors pulled my hand at that time to get away from the crowd of the stand. I honestly started to get scared at that time.

“so this is the girl who is always with Kyungsoo? what is your relationship with Kyungsoo? her boyfriend?” the other senior began to interrogate me

“i'm just a classmate. I'm not her boyfriend”

“if you're not her boyfriend from now on stop approaching Kyungsoo” the senior shouted right in front of my face

I was very upset at that time. “why should I stay away from him? who are you guys?”

It seems my words have made them even more angry with me. But my heart was also very upset by them at that time. There was a quarrel between each other and shouting between us.

“yak! if you dare not shake! face me one by one!” I shouted as I watched them simultaneously attack me.

Our shout turned out to distract other students present at the festival, including Kyungsoo who was performing on stage. Before long there were many students who gathered around us. A male student who was my classmate broke up our quarrel. I could see Kyungsoo from a distance running towards me. His face was between annoyed and worried at that moment. Kyungsoo then pulled my hand and took me away from the crowd. Kyungsoo took me home. All the way home, not a word came out of his mouth or his mouth. I was too scared to start a conversation. I'm afraid Kyungsoo is mad at me for making a fuss in the show. Sure enough, Kyungsoo was angry with me. After getting off the bus, my ears were made all-out by his chatter.

“you're nothing at all! why fight with the seniors? like a kid just”

“why did you blame all those fights on me? just ask your fans” I was still very upset at that time plus Kyungsoo who was scolding me made me unable to control my emotions. I cried so much in front of Kyungsoo at the time. This is the first time Kyungsoo has scolded me like this.

“since the beginning I told you I didn't want to come, but because I wanted to see your appearance I decided to come. If you know like this I will never come to the event.” I rushed to leave the stop before it was even harder to control my tears at that time. One you didn't know until now, I regretted saying all that to you.

After the incident Kyungsoo did not contact me. I didn't contact him either, because I felt it was a prestige to contact him first. That sense of prestige also made me ignore him at school every time Kyungsoo tried to greet me. I think for a while avoiding him was the right path but it turned out that just three days of not hearing from him and playing with him had left me lonely. I ventured to contact him. Last night I called her phone, but there was no answer. Thousands of thoughts began to rage in my brain.

“was yesterday I overdone on you? are you so mad at me?”

The next day at school I didn't see him in class. Kyungsoo skipped school. I knew it after I came to his house after school. Kyungsoo's mother opened the door for me at that time. Mom says Kyungsoo hasn't come home from school. This time Kyungsoo must be running away. I kept looking for him in all the places we used to go when we were bored but I didn't find him either.

It was late in the afternoon when I started to give up looking for him. I also had to go back to school before I came home because I left my bike that day. Arriving at school I remembered one of our secret places that I had not been to. The place that Kyungsoo and I always go to every time they skip a language lesson. Rooftop school. I immediately ran up all the stairs in the school. Sure enough, Kyungsoo was there. Kyungsoo in his school uniform was asleep on a long bench at the time. I approached him just wanting to see how he was.

When I left, Kyungsoo woke up from his sleep. Kyungsoo pulled my hand to sit back and not leave it. We for quite a long time just kept quiet until I finally dared to open the conversation.

“forgive me”

“for what?” she replied without looking at me in the slightest. It seems Kyungsoo is still angry at me.

“because of the fight that day. I'm sorry I also yelled at you that day at stop”

Kyungsoo turned towards me but not a word came out of his mouth. Kyungsoo just kept looking at me. To be honest, I was nervous at the time because of her look.

“yak! why did you skip school today?” I clenched his head to stop his gaze at me.

“aw.. pain know. Not yet I forgive your mistake yesterday now you're actually pinning me down. I will not forgive you”

“after you worried me. Last night I called you but you didn't pick it up either, and then this morning I didn't see you in class” Again Kyungsoo didn't answer me. Kyungsoo just kept quiet and lowered his head.

“what happened to you?”

No answer from him.

Soon the tears fell. Kyungsoo crying. I'm getting worried. I know this must be because of her parents. Kyungsoo is good at acting. He was the best student in the drama club but he could never act in front of me. I knew exactly at the time that he was having trouble. Kyungsoo's father and mother have decided to divorce. Their relationship has been disharmonious for a long time. They often fight at home even when Kyungsoo is at home. Their quarrels that made Kyungsoo not at home and always came to my house like that night.

I gave my handkerchief to wipe her tears. That afternoon for the first time I saw Kyungsoo cry. ‘Everything you're dealing with is really heavy Kyungsoo’.

“you are me and I am you. Tell me all your troubles, let me erase all your grief Kyungsoo. I am your pretty gienie from my magic lamp” god at that time trying to cheer her up.

No matter how much I tried to understand it at that time I knew that still the pain I felt was not as painful as he felt. I can only accompany Kyungsoo until he feels better.

“how are you doing?” Kyungsoo asked me how I was doing. Shouldn't this be what he asked me since we first met this morning, why only now? ah well, at least that way I have a reason to know. To this day after 5 years of parting with Kyungsoo I am still the same as before. I'm still very proud to ask you how it is. Moreover, we have not met for a very long time, it was very difficult to start a conversation with him even though I actually missed him a lot.

“hey! how are you doing Jihyo?”

“ah yes, my good news is even very good. How about you?”

“my news is good too. Looks like you've changed now”

“you mean?”

“you daydream more. Not like the Jihyo I used to know. You look stiff and awkward now. Aren't you happy to see me?”

I don't know what happened to me today either. If only I could tell her I was looking forward to meeting today since a week ago. Even last night I couldn't sleep just thinking about what I should ask or do when I met him. But yeah like I said, I'm still just like the old me. Girls with a very high level of prestige. It was also the prestige that made me regret it first. A week before our graduation, Kyungsoo told me that after graduation he would be going to school in America. The news really makes me sad. At that time I did not understand the reason why I had to be sad to hear Kyungsoo was leaving. I thought maybe because I was going to lose my best friend or because I couldn't spend any more time playing with him.

We spent the last week with great joy. I always come home late. It's silly but we made a deal to spend the rest of our time together by going to all the places we love from the playground, the zoo, my favorite history museum, I watched his favorite musical.

The closer I got to graduation day, why my feelings of sadness got bigger. The days I had spent with Kyungsoo did not heal that sadness enough. All my memories with Kyungsoo have made me unwilling to part with him. One day before graduation, my last day could be playing with Kyungsoo. I just realized that feeling. The reason why I felt so sad to have to part with her. After seeing her smile that day, I realized that I was in love with her. But I don't know how to explain this feeling to her. Even I wasn't completely sure at the time.

That day Kyungsoo and I spent some time playing in the school rooftop. That day I gathered my strength to defeat my pride. I mustered up my courage to explain all my feelings to her, but I still couldn't tell her. Finally I can only cry after Kyungsoo is completely gone. I should've told you all that, asked you not to leave me.

Just in the spring of 5 years ago we parted ways and met again in the spring of this year. Like the last song that Kyungsoo sang at the farewell event first “this feeling is worth”. Me and Kyungsoo are currently at the school rooftop. Kyungsoo seems to be enjoying all the things from this rooftop that are still the same as before. I also enjoyed it, the atmosphere of the school rooftop with all the memories we used to have.

“do you remember Jihyo?”

“remember about what?”

“one day before our graduation first”

“oh that, of course I still remember it. We spent the whole day here, didn't we?”

“ya. Sakura trees behind the school. Do you still remember that too?”

One more memory I will never forget. Sakura trees behind the school. That day, on graduation, I escaped amidst Kyungsoo's last appearance. I ran away because I couldn't hold back my dripping tears from hearing Kyungsoo sing at the time. Behind that cherry tree I cried.

No matter how long it might be after Kyungsoo finishes with his performance, he comes up to me. I guess this is my best hiding place that will not be found by him, but it is true he said ‘you are me and I am you’. Kyungsoo knows everything about me. Kyungsoo looked so worried watching me cry and like a grown man Kyungsoo held my hand strong while I just got harder and harder to stop my tears. It all felt sad because I couldn't explain my true feelings. At last there was only farewell between me and Kyungsoo at that time.

“that day I should have said something important that I have long been fond of you Jihyo, but seeing you cry made it even harder to say it”

Kyungsoo was silent for a moment and now he looked at me deeply.

“after our farewell to the tree I regret it. Even if I say it now, it seems like it's too late. I should have told you how I felt about you back then, how I felt if I liked you. Because of my indecency, all of that is now a painful memory”

Kyungsoo why is all this you just said now? why did none of us have enough courage to tell our true feelings?

Now I feel you're very right ‘you're me and I'm you’. Now it's too late for Kyungsoo because I'm already with the others. The day after tomorrow was my engagement to Taejoon. Since you left our story is over when it hasn't started yet. Now the photos of our togetherness that cannot explain our status become a pile of heartbreaking stories, because of words that we cannot express.

“forgive me Jihyo. Again in the summer I have to say goodbye to you. May your life be happy”

“goodbye Kyungsoo. May you also be happy”

Kyungsoo hugged me for the last time.

The next day Kyungsoo has to return to America because his vacation is over and I also have to go back to living my life. I have to bury all my memories with Kyungsoo. It's been enough a day to remember all that with him. Now I'm ready to start my new life with Taejoon. Summer has always been a witness to my farewell with Kyungsoo.

THE END