Karma Love

Adji Pov

Adji Pov

I feel so sorry now. Why know the black world. Who should find me at that time. Fucking time when I'm with a woman is both being lulled into the delights of the world.

I thought it would just be an overnight date. That woman had admired me for a long time. At that moment I felt I didn't care. My life is free. I've been numb to various problems. So I chose to leave, not caring for any other pleasure.

Yeah, that's what I'm a fucking guy.

Until I meet Syila. A simple little girl. I fell in love with him immediately.

His gaze, his smile, felt very sincere and shady. Makes my chest pound happily whenever it's close together or just saying his name.

Until the time passes, we are getting closer. I felt like I didn't want to go far away from him. But what is power. I have to go to the city my job moved there.

Our relationship is a long distance relationship. I had to move on for the job I was fighting for. I always miss him.

But I still can't escape from my whole world which has made me comfortable.

Living in a broken home makes me crazy.

Syila's presence seems to have brought about positive change. I started to control my emotions. I began to be able to speak kindly and softly to my older opponents.

Until one day my mother was amazed by my change. I'm worried I'm taking illegal drugs that might be labeled halal. Because it brought a good change to me.

This mother, where there's a drug labeled halal.

Then I told her about Syila to Mom. I showed you the picture. I was very enthusiastic to respond to it.

It was for the first time I spoke heart to heart about and to women of different genres yet whom I love equally.

From there I chose to introduce myself first to Syila. They become familiar over time.

I'm glad to see it.

Even since I knew Syila I have started to stop with the drugs. Although at first it was very self-torturing but because of the passion for and from Syila I managed to stop.

Didn't I have to fix myself to be worth standing next to the angel.

That was my assumption at the time.

Why don't I get kissed by the police. Who said. While still sitting in High School I was rehabilitated by members of the apparatus. And I have to pay a huge fee for my mistake.

I introduced myself to Syila for what she was. I told him about my black world. Until Syila helped me slowly leave my world. He accepted me without looking at my past.

The result is as it is now. I may still drink alcohol sometimes. I know Syila hates him. I don't know why I have trouble leaving him.

Until one day a woman was looking for me.

I thought hard. Ahh remember that woman, why come here.

"What are you here for ?" Ask sarcas.

The woman told me all the truth after that night. Truth is she's pregnant with my flesh and blood. It turns out that the boy was very ill. Doctors suggested a spinal cord transplant to help the innocent child's life. And who can do it one of them biological parents.

My inner roar. What else is this is that I should reap from what I planted in the past.

Not likely. And I don't want to. What about my son Syila.

Me and the kid finally did a DNA test. To convince me to refuse if all that is true.

Mother knows. She was shocked of course. Mom had been expecting Syila to be her daughter-in-law. But all must merge with the results of tests that state we are suitable as children and fathers.

Mom understood that I was in a bad psychic condition at the time.

You don't want me to be such a cowardly jerk. On the other hand the boy seemed to miss the presence of a father. It was evident that when his mother introduced me as his father, the boy would not escape me. Even going to bed is so wanted with me. I'm so confused as to be.

My heart was a little touched by the boy's presence. I don't know what this might be called an inner bond.

I haven't made the decision to marry that woman or not. Your time is up for the kid. The more I care about him the more I care about him. He's a creature that knows nothing. I shouldn't have ignored it.

Until one day, the boy asked me to stay with them. With tears in my eyes when I saw I wanted to go home.

Ahh I also can't. With my mother's insistence on taking responsibility for what I've done. Pity to see the little boy who missed his father so much, also who was struggling with his pain. And also my guilt that suddenly appeared hit the calmness of my life.

I was worried. If I get married, I have to let Syila go. What should I talk about. I can't stand to say everything. That was too cruel for him. I don't want to see him sad.

But if it's not talked about, it makes me even more unsettled.

***

I finally married that woman. Unbeknownst to Syila. Happiness came from him and my son. I smiled and saw him cheerful.

A few days after the wedding, she had to undergo a spinal cord transplant surgery.

When I met Syila on Sunday night it was actually my goal to end our relationship I wanted to tell her everything.

But in fact I can't, in fact I'm not that big, I'm too cowardly. Seeing Syila with a face, a smile, blushing cheeks made me really not want to let go.

It's so greedy of me. I want to atone for my sins with other women but I also don't want to let go of the woman I love so much for now.

***

Whatever you keep the carcass will definitely be sniffed as well.

That's finally. Not until I gathered my courage for lying and betraying Syila. I have not been able to express my sincere apologies. Syila realized it first.

He's so wrathful. As long as I knew him that time I saw him really angry.

She was crying, making me feel sick too.

After all my explanations and apologies, Syila put an end to everything. I should have been able to accept it however, the fact that it made me depressed. Like going back in time. The moments of life that are bitter and painful.

I begged him. Dropped my pride as a man. Throw away my high ego. I was crying in front of him. Not a drama but in fact the departure of Syila is more heartbreaking than anything I've ever been through.

I see him crying. I think there's going to be a second chance. But stupid me. A good woman seems to want to wait for a man who is married and has children. He was called the third person.

Finally without any power, at the end of a plea, I only found rejection and departure.

I could only look at his back that was getting further away. Increasing the distance to me. It's getting harder for me to reach.

The woman I love is gone because of myself.

Ahhhhhhhhh..

Even I hate myself like this.

**Pov Adji end

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