JUST A CRASH - BUTTERFLY CROSSING

2. This How?

Sitting in front of a work desk in his room, Shuji browsed through an online store to buy a cat kennel and a net. The invigorating energy he got from the outside was like melting and shrinking once he returned to his apartment, making him again shrouded in gloom.

Shuji stared at the digital clock on the side of the computer for a long time. He could hear the sound of his heartbeat. Down, Shuji felt his chest tremble up and down.

The dug dug dug dug

In that endless saturation, it was easy for the monster within him to whisper.

The night is always a good time to be ignorant.

Shuji's long fingers move to the keyboard, surf and browse through one documentary video after another about the world-famous criminal.

Maybe he's actually a psychopath? Shuji thinks that if he has such potential, he can learn about his predecessor.

A man on camera smiled even though his hands were in handcuffs and his death was in plain sight.

The crimes he committed had to do with the safety of women and children; not only had he become a vile criminal, the judge was not willing to look him in the face. When the crime was read out, the judge wept for the victims. Without a second thought, the man was sentenced to death with an electric sting.

Shuji watched seriously and he breathed a sigh of relief. He understands the criminal's psychology, but he will never be able to commit the same crime.

Only he was so unconscious that after he had traced through one video and article after another, the algorithm slowly showed it to the dark web.

Shuji easily enters and surfs the web.

"...hm?" Shuji rounded his eyes to see a list of banned websites full of illegal content to exist in the world.

The fingers move click click click click and every time there is difficulty accessing his hands move agilely over the keyboard to infiltrate. That night Shuji felt an unusual enthusiasm.

At midnight, as if there was a 'tick' sound in his head, Shuji realized from what he was doing. Shuji stared at the screen blankly for a few minutes before exhaling a deep breath and decided to buy a few cans of coffee. He ignored the machine in the apartment hall and chose to exit the building.

Silence around the area is like giving its own peace. If the world were as quiet as night, Shuji could sleep anywhere on earth.

Shuji walks into a nearby beverage machine, buys two cans of coffee and spends the rest of the change with the drink he originally chose.

"Oh," Suddenly Shuji felt an itch on his arm, right in the cat's scratch yesterday. But in the end he let it go, anyway want him sick or injured was the same. He's gonna be dead soon.

Shuji enters the elevator back to his apartment room. His still-good mood instantly turned bad to the lowest point seeing a plastic bag bearing the name of a pharmacy hanging on his door leaf.

His eyes furiously turned to the next apartment door that looked silent. Hm, that door looks calm even though it is secretly stalking him.

It seemed, that her meddling neighbor hung her up a long time ago, only Shuji was unaware of it. And he only realized when he came back from outside.

"It's really troublesome." Shuji pulled the plastic rough and walked to the next room. His hand prepared to bang on the door, but in the middle, his movements stopped.

What, what does he want?

If that woman came out, she would have to exchange words with that woman again?

Why bother? Shuji nodded inwardly and finally returned to his apartment. The plastic contains an anti-infective ointment. Standing in the trash can in his kitchen, Shuji reads a piece of paper tucked inside.

- Anti infection so as not to itch make skin itch

"Huh??"

Shuji repeated the reading a few times before squeezing the paper in annoyance.

"It's so stupid, why do I keep repeating to read it."

In addition, these meddling neighbors cannot write well. Even the level is not far with SD children.

"Huh, still the SD boy." Shuji grumbled and dumped everything in the trash.

Shuji sat back in front of the computer and glanced at the clock. His already unpleasant mood was getting lower.

"I could have spent some time accepting, reading, and throwing things away." angrily, Shuji pressed the keyboard like a grudge. It sounds loud no no.

Content reappears on his computer screen and Shuji's attention is distracted.

....

Today the sun is shining like yesterday. For areas that are likely to be exposed to wind rain, people are busy preparing supplies. But in the room of apartment number 48, there was not the slightest gap of sun that went inside. Still the same as his sitting position seven hours ago, Shuji glared at the computer screen that was still playing content.

Shuji blinked his eyes slowly before finally moving his hand to close the internet window and shut down the computer. Simultaneously, the sound of an alarm on his phone rang.

trinnggg

Shuji stared at the screen of his phone which showed a picture of a vibrating clock. This alarm goes off every day. Although with a different phone, Shuji always set his alarm at 7.00 am. That habit he's been doing since he was in college.

All these years he was fine.

But why was he so angry this time at this voice?

'Fuck phone.' Not only his form, his voice, even his shape became disturbing.

'Why don't I just destroy it?'

The next second Shuji was already moving into the kitchen, with a hammer in his right hand and a mobile phone on a wooden coaster.

"Shush."

pruk pruk pruk pruk

With constant movement that is not slow and not fast, the phone starts to crumble the screen. Until the screen blackened and the sound of alarm stopped, the movement of his hand stopped. Shuji tilted his head and listened carefully.

"Well, better." Shuji nodded slowly and threw the hammer at the dishwasher and ignored everything.

Shuji moves into the living room, going around looking for a tv remote. After finding her on the sidelines of the sofa, Shuji turns on the tv and instantly moves her to the weather forecast channel.

[..It is estimated that tonight heavy rain will fall in the xxx area, viewers can see the area of its appearance as it is on the screen behind me marked in yellow. The meteorological agency estimates that increased rainfall is likely to trigger wind rain. Some schools in the area have decided to take a break until the rain has passed. The precipitation speed per hour.].

'There is no certainty at all.' Shuji grunted in annoyance. He walked quickly to his room.

His body automatically moved looking to the table, lifting the book and revealing the blanket. Shuji returned to the living room and glanced at the kitchen. The thing he was looking for he had just destroyed. Shuji regained his senses, yet not a single bit did he feel affectionate.

Shuji clenched his mouth and went to the bathroom. 'Anyway, I will die today.'

Shuji who has not had a shower this week has finally cleaned up. He rubbed his body for a long time until his skin turned red. The beard and mustache that he began to grow he shaved.

After wearing a shirt and suit like any other office worker, Shuji styled his hair, revealing his usual beautiful face covered in bangs. A thin line of red is faintly visible on his right cheek, the mark of his struggle with the cat yesterday. Under his eyes there is a clear eye bag, his figure resembles an office worker who is always overtime.

Although the aura around him was still gloomy, compared to before, he was like everyone else.

Shuji solemnly put on a tie, looked at his reflection in the mirror, then commented a stiff smile.

Shuji came out of the apartment carrying his wallet. After it was confirmed that the rain would arrive later that night, Shuji could come to the station to catch up to the shinkansen at 11am this morning.

Shuji walks through the alley where the orange cat lived yesterday. Perhaps because no one was feeding, the alley seemed deserted. Shuji passed while scoffing. That ugly cat he no longer needed.

Tekad Shuji is now round.

The Shinkansen train in the area near Shuji's apartment only appeared once. Glancing at the clock at the station, there was only half an hour left until the train arrived. In a hurry Shuji walked to the ticket vending machine.

After buying a ticket, Shuji turns around and accidentally hits someone.

"Sorry." Shuji said quickly.

"It's okay."

"...." hearing that voice Shuji stopped moving. Why does he seem to know that voice?

When he looked, sure enough, the person he hit was the woman from yesterday. Shuji's hunch suddenly became unpleasant.

"Oh, hi, is your wound better?" the woman greeted before Shuji could speak. The woman's expression was like astonishment, looking at Shuji's appearance which was very much different from yesterday. Were it not for the voice and the scar on her cheek, the woman would not have recognized Shuji.

"Hm." Because Shuji threw away the drugs, he didn't agree and just cleared his throat.

Shuji thought, since he will die soon, maybe he will be kind enough to exchange words a little. Thinking this woman was about to witness the dead Shuji, she suddenly got excited. It's better to leave behind a nightmare, haha.

"Good..," the woman seemed to remember how Shuji disliked being approached. "Then you go first,"

"You want to book a ticket too? Where's where?" shuji asked at last.

"I'm going to XX." The destination the woman was going to was just one station away.

"Oh,"

"Then I go first."

Shuji just nodded and turned around. Looking at the remaining twenty minutes, his chest was pounding. Shuji walked towards the gate, he subconsciously commented a smile.

"Eh?"

Which ticket?

Wasn't it in my pocket?

Some of the people lining up behind him started grumbling and Shuji was forced to pull over and check his pants pockets.

"..Where... ah," thinking about the incident when he hit the woman, Shuji was sure the ticket had fallen by then. Of the many people who passed him, why should the woman.

"....why am I so fucking lately?" that woman must have been sent as a doom bearer for him. Looking around the floor, Shuji did not find the ticket.

Without much, Shuji went straight back to the counter and bought a new ticket.

[Ticket is up]

Shuji looked up and took a deep breath.

Again and again.

"Are you still here?"

Again, again, and again. Shuji turned to the origin of the voice that was the beginning of his bad day.

"Why are you (still) here?" shuji said coldly, meaning of course not to ask.

"I bought a drink for the trip... You?"

"I bought a ticket but it's gone." Shuji paused and took a breath. "You buy it again but it runs out." After he thought long, no anger can. If he made a fuss in a public place and fought with this woman, he would be secured and unable to carry out his plan.

"Forgetit." Shuji did not wait for the woman to reply.

Thinking of the wind that was coming tonight and thinking about his life 4 days ahead, Shuji felt his mind blank.

"I bought a normal train ticket."

Although the speed is not commensurate with the shinkansen, but the train is still a train. Shuji saw the schedule. He only had to wait an hour to die. Shuji cheered in his heart. He moved to book a new ticket. When he wants to take out his wallet....

"..."

Shuji poked his pants once more. As he remembered, when he was at the gate only his ticket was missing. Why is his wallet gone?

Putting both hands on the body of the machine, Shuji quieted down for a moment. Her clothes and hair are starting to get tangled. Although he still looks neat, but the look of his face leaves a messy impression. Once the lyrics people know that he's having trouble.

Could it be that he was destined to die from the high pressure? Like this?

Doesn't matter.

But will he be able to control his anger until he has a heart attack? What if he only had a stroke and had to be treated?

"Anu.. Are you okay?"

Shuji hopes the woman stops talking to him. His voice sounded very annoying in Shuji's ears at the moment.

'Please.'

But Shuji has a premonition that women will continue to wait until they are answered.

"Yes." Yeah." Shuji turned around and answered quickly. "I'm fine." As blood flowed to his head firmly, Shuji tried to hold back his emotions as much as possible.

"You didn't bring any money?"

Shuji will not say that he lost his ticket and wallet. Especially the woman in front of him!

"My wallet's gone." But his nerves are moving faster than he feels.

"You're love. Just put my money on, how about it?"

"....No need to."

Shuji walks out of the station at last. He had no intention of dying by a train. He just wants to get out of this station right now. It feels like if he's in the same place as that woman he'll keep getting unlucky.

Gotta get out of here fast.

*****

Shuji came home on foot. Since his ticket and wallet were gone, he could only resign. His intention was to go to the police station to report him, because it was not in line with the purpose of his death.

Approaching the minimarket, Shuji's footsteps slowed down. His eyes looked for a moment at the range of drinks from behind the window glass.

'What? Now you want a drink, huh? Act like a creature who wants to survive.'

Shuji turned his face away. Despite his unanimous determination, the corner of Shuji's heart paled but he didn't know why.

That feeling turned into doubt when he started to question; is this really the way?

Shuji had not slept all night, nor had he eaten and drank since morning. Walking from the station plus the pressure in his mind made his body tired. Even though the weather had entered autumn, Shuji was still sweating.

Most of the cold sweat from endless restlessness.

Bruck

The light impact should not matter, but Shuji who was in a weak state could not withstand the inertia and fell down.

"What, Onii-chan, if you use your eyes?" this little guy doesn't see who's in front of him?

"Hah," Shuji lowered his eyes, focusing his blurred gaze for a moment.

"Udah nagged instead of apologizing."

Shuji who was still on the ground raised his face. "It's clear you're the one who hit?"

"Haaaaah? What are you talking about?"

"Hmp. Act like a street ruler." Shuji muttered while standing slowly. "...Though achievement is only that seremuh."

Before Shuji could continue his steps, his shoulder was held and he was dragged into an alley.

"Oi, Onii-chan, what did you say again?" Could it be that he was already too tame until one forgot his rustic?

Shuji did not repeat his words, but rather threw out a new sentence.

"I said you suck." In a state of dizziness, nausea and fatigue, Shuji vented his frustration.

"You're trash, society's trash. Know trash? It smells bad but cannot be recycled. Why don't you die anyway?" ironically, when he said that, Shuji felt like he was talking about himself.

Finished saying so, Shuji immediately fell down and his cheeks throbbed painfully.

"Oi, just now the cave was just kidding, but you're rich gini so upset too."

Shuji rubbed his cheek, inwardly hoping that the person in front of him would blaspheme back with the same words. But in this case it doesn't matter either.

-------------*****----------------

"Ah, ****, why also the cave does not take care of the life of a gini-rich creature." the big-bodied man exhaled tired breath, tired, and it seems finally realized that Shuji is just one of the many losers he often meets.

*"Udah, Onichan, you share your money, cave sorry for the mistake." *the man said still with his thick tongue.

Actually the guy came all the way here to collect someone's debt. But what he was looking for had already escaped. Suddenly a fish appeared in front of him, yes he caught. Of course like the chronology above, not that he was deliberately lazy, but indeed the person in front of him asked to be beaten.

Shuji just said his wallet was gone, but received a punch, he was not afraid and instead became so. Feeling the pain in his body Shuji felt a little fresh as well as sad.

"No money for you." Shuji spat towards the burly man. The red flowers are mixed with blood. "Die you son of a bitch" he added valiantly.

".....basas a madman." it's clear that losing is still acting too?

Eventually the man beat Shuji to satisfaction before leaving the alley.

Puffed up and a little blood on the tip of his lips, Shuji lay down in the alley, staring at the dim blue ceiling. Somehow he felt something was mocking him up there. Watching and watching his movements. So frustrating.

Out of annoyance he glared back at the sky.

"See what you dog?" Shuji yells. In fact, only a soft whisper came out of his mouth. Shuji is angry, but at the same time feels like complaining.

Why is my life like this?

"Anyway, I'm going to die" Shuji said softly.

After that, he lost consciousness.

----------------------

The smell of disinfectant faintly smelled, Shuji who had consciously would not open his eyes. It's not the first time she's been in the hospital, but it's the first time she's been lying in a clinic. Usually he only took regular checkups, not to the point of lying weak like this.

In a place where there is no privacy and only in the curtain, Shuji can hear the sound of people talking, the sound of trolley wheels, and the sound of an unfamiliar machine bep.

As the curtains slide, Shuji moves his eyeballs.

His breath was restrained looking at the person in front of him. With a weak movement Shuji tilted his head like he wanted to make sure of something. His black eyes showed confusion to the universe.

Why, of the many, always meet this woman end-to-end.

"Oh you're awake? I'll call the doctor first."

The woman came and went as fast as lightning before returning with a doctor.

After hearing 'all is fine', Shuji could hear nothing more. Mind empty.

After a little quiet, Shuji glanced at the woman with demanding eyes. Receiving that gaze, the woman quickly explained.

"I don't know what happened to you, but I found you lying in an alley not far from the apartment building."

'What? So it's near the apartment?' deep regret gnawed at Shuji, he should not have bothered to provoke the thug and just go straight home.

"You're unconscious and battered... what.... do you want me to report it to the police?"

Shuji turned his face away, refusing to answer.

The woman was not offended and sat down on the bedside chair.

"Ah" he said suddenly. The woman took something out of her sling bag, "You said your wallet was missing, right before?"

The wallet was then placed on the side of Shuji's pillow carefully.

"...I found your wallet when I came in through the gate. I-I originally wanted to leave it to the station attendant but since my train had arrived, I didn't have time. So I just got to give it back to you when I get home."

"...." - ".Shuji still silenced and finally nodded. Either it means thank you or scram because the nod of his head moves from the bottom up.

Seeing the awkwardness of the woman, Shuji did not care.

"Then I'm first?" it was strange to wait for Shuji; they were not familiar. To be honest, their names don't know each other.

The woman went and closed the curtains in an orderly manner.

'Finally go too, ' murmured Shuji. He closed his eyes again and subconsciously fell asleep.

An hour later, Shuji wakes up. After receiving the infusion and rest, Shuji felt his strength return. He dragged his feet to the payment counter and asked for medical expenses while holding his wallet.

"His treatment is gone."

"Huh? Try it in check again, I'm just out now." Shuji gave me his medicine card.

The receptionist handed Shuji back the card and said, "So the registry used the name of the person who brought you here. The treatment is paid for."

"..." means the woman? Shuji checks his wallet and calculates that the money is still complete. So the woman paid for the medical expenses with her own money? His wallet is in his hands?

Why does she always help and do unnecessary things?

'Could that woman like me?' the moment that thought flashed, Shuji immediately goosebumps.

"Can I have her name?" ask Shuji.

"sure."

The sister mentioned the woman's name, "Jin-gga... Mangis.. are? Is this how you read it?"

'Cck 'Cck. Foolish indeed, who hired this woman.' inwardly said so, but her face was still calm and flat. "Can I see the writing?"

The receptionist turned the computer screen.

On the screen it says 'Cute Orange'.

'The lion? Ji's? Ji in English Gi. So Gin-ga. Hm.´..' Shuji nodded inwardly. 'If an overseas person means his family's behind, so... The manise? Is she?'

"Gin-ga Manisu."

'Wait, why do I care?' after thinking so, Shuji immediately stopped trying to recite the name and turned back home.

"Thank you very much."

"Together."

Shuji exited the clinic and read the sign outside. This was clearly a clinic in his area. Shuji walks until he arrives at the alley. He looked around and walked back....

Five minutes later, Shuji actually arrived at the apartment building.

'Really close.' Shuji did not accept. 'Here it is, the woman helped because she wanted to, not because I asked.' Shuji. Right, he had no intention of reimbursing those medical expenses at all, let alone being grateful.

If it was someone else, he might try to pay it back.

But that woman has always been a source of disaster. He was afraid he would be even more unlucky if he met on purpose.

If the woman comes to charge, Shuji will pay as a form of exorcising the demons. If not, he himself will not come. Huh.

"Manisu... Manisu. what kind of name is it try."