JUST A CRASH - BUTTERFLY CROSSING

11. Sad and Happy

“Hai, what's up?”

Shuji awakens from his delusion, but the background of the song does not stop spinning in his head.

“Mm. Am I bothering you?”

“No.. I just wanted to go out, kok.”

Like a broken cassette, the song on his head was forcefully stopped and the surrounding flowers withered instantly.

Usually Orange will ask about his condition, such as—‘you use apron? After what?’— with round eyes sparkling inquisitive (shuji imagination). But now that Shuji is talking about whether he's bothering, this woman said he just wanted to go out?

Wh why? Is he interfering? All right, he's gonna bother. (^-^)

“You look different, is this a special day?” ask Shuji. You're very pretty, but where are you going?

Shuji Kira Orange is usually plain and dressed in loose trousers. Honey, he's dancing and not for himself.

Could it be that his efforts are still unclear? Doesn't he see that Shuji always appears perfect in front of him? Okay, even though sometimes he appears ‘muddled’ it is, right, part of the script.

“Oh... I want to eat out.”

“Oh, that's how.” Shuji smiled until his eyes were nowhere to be seen. Whahuh? Is this meal so special? Why is this sweet guy smiling so much? (blush effect).

Shuji struggled with his thoughts—though his face was still friendly. Meanwhile, Jingga begins to fidget because Shuji does not immediately say his business.

“It... anu... I'm actually in a hurry..,”

“Oh, true.” Shuji breathed a dramatic sigh. I'm holding you back, and you want to leave immediately? “You think these roses are beautiful?”

“Cantics.” Orange nodded and answered seriously. Half because he wants to finish quickly, the other half because he is agitated—fear late. Hearing the word ‘bunga’ he immediately replied.

Cracks.

Shuji held back his anxious hand muscles wanting to crush the pot in his grasp. “This lily.” He sizzled smooth, like a snake.

But the woman in front of him was unconscious. “Lili is also beautiful.” Orange nodded again.

Shuji exhaled softly and looked at Orange closely. Looking at the face that said ‘cantik’ seriously and her round eyes that were like still not focused with their chatter, Shuji's anger was gone.

Forget it, this woman is stupid and adorable, what can I do.

This is the risk of being silent. “Then you keep this pot. Put it on top of the shoe rack cabinet to make it more colorful.” Shuji forcibly handed the flower pot to the Orange.

“Oh, for me?”

When do I bring something to your doorstep—if not for you! “Mm.” Shuji's smile is still as calm as the lake.

“Thanks a lot.”

Shuji did not leave immediately.

The orange that sensed the uncomfortable aura around him, started to feel panic. And that erased his worries of leaving soon. He glanced at Shuji who was putting on a smile, only that his eyes were not smiling at all. Could I have made a mistake without realizing it?

The orange twisted his brain fast. “Oh.” Then move to put the pot on the shoe rack cabinet. He glanced from the corner of his eyes and drew a line of smiles. “I (already) put it on the shelf?”

After being sure that Orange placed it on top of the shoe rack cabinet, Shuji nodded his head.

“Mm. Then I go first, yeah.”

“O-oke.” Orange nodded in place.

Shuji turned around and returned to his apartment. When the door closed, Jingga remembered the appointment and immediately put on shoes.

Before long, the sound of the clanking of the elevator rang out, Orange went inside and the elevator door closed.

The door of Shuji's apartment that had not flinched opened slowly.

“I won't bother, just.. check." Yes, the woman is too innocent until if kidnapped will not be aware. Shuji came out with a different appearance. He was wearing a work suit with a knee-length coat. Her hair was neatly combed to the side with glasses perched on her nose. He wears a mask and in his hands he carries a pocket book to complement his disguise.

Shuji walked quietly. As soon as he entered the emergency stairway door he immediately ran over, stepping two-three steps at once. When he got to the bottom floor, Shuji was still breathing. Hiding behind the wall, he heard the clinking sound of the elevator, and a soft pink figure came out of the elevator.

Shuji opened his pocket book and walked a few meters behind him.

In front, Orange picked up the phone out of nowhere and chatted with so much joy.

Shuji wanted to know who, but he could not dismantle his disguise. The book was placed in front of his face while his feet did not stop moving. The two stood side by side at the stop at a distance of two to three meters. One by one people began to arrive and Shuji's existence was increasingly disguised.

When the bus comes and Jingga gets on, Shuji goes on the ride.

On weekends, the bus route number will always be full because it passes through several tourist areas. Although in a crowd, Shuji got a chair without effort and sat right behind the orange chair. Blatantly but unnoticed, he raised his head—peeked at the screen of the Orange phone.

The bus stops at the first stop and visitors hop on and off. The seat next to Shuji was filled. But seeing Shuji peeking into the phone of the person in the front seat, the person sitting next to him immediately stood up and moved to a place where Shuji did not care.

Ten minutes walk, the bus stops at one of the famous N region agro-tourists.

Marika Forest is one of the agro-tourism spots that introduce a simple harvest with unique dating spots.

In front of him, Orange stood.

"Huh." immediately Shuji followed. Maybe he's here to see a friend?

Shuji frowned. Think, Shuji. From the beginning, she was asked that the woman was not telling the truth. Say you want to eat out but come to a place like this with no one.

Could she have a boyfriend? Wh who? Since when? According to his keen observation, it is impossible for an orange to have a girlfriend. The woman had no time for such a thing because she was busy working.

Not likely. Shuji insists. Could be his close friend, right?

But when a man approaches the Orange and the two enter together into the area, Shuji is glued to the spot. "Maybe just his friend?" Shuji said to himself. But the logic in his head said it wasn't true.

At the same time, he felt a pulse of pain in his chest.

She's confused.

‘Do I have heart disease?’ Shuji stared at the now empty forest gate while scratching his heart area. The people who had descended along with him had already gone inside in pairs, only Shuji was standing outside alone.

Although still confused, putting aside the pain, Shuji went to buy a ticket and went inside.

Despite being late in, the two figures he noticed just now had not walked far. Shuji walked slowly, not wanting to hear what the two were talking about, but on one side was curious.

'Why is he laughing so?' Shuji closed his lips. Sweet never laughed so in front of me. 

Shuji follows them taking pictures of each other every time he finds an interesting spot. Tell each other stories that Shuji does not know, even to the point of embracing each other's shoulders.

The pocket book he held in front of his face came down malay with his lost hands.

"He.. looks happy." And every time I saw that smile, Shuji wasn't happy. But the pain in his chest is getting worse.

Loving someone is painful.

**

What is so hard about liking someone secretly?

See the person you like dating other people, laugh and enjoy the day.

Currently he was in a restaurant in the middle of the forest and was immediately presented with a view of the trees that began to fall. The greenery covered in mist adds to the mellow atmosphere. Visitors who sit at the balcony table even to docked with each other because of the occasional cold creeps.

There are fireplaces and heaters for each inside and outside the restaurant. It's just that the current atmosphere makes people want to be more attached to special people.

Around him people chatted and laughed softly, the light of the restaurant illuminating the room like spiced up effects of falling in love.

Too bad both the warm fireplace and the friendly atmosphere did not eliminate Shuji's frustration.

“Have sake?” Shuji sat several tables from the orange position.

The waiter in front of him looked surprised. “Kita... does not provide sake..” if people are seriously drunk in this place will be bothered. “But there is red wine.”

Shuji did not answer.

The waiter saw the guest in front of him looking the other way and did not pay attention to the menu on offer.

“I want the same menu with that table.” Shuji pointed at the table of Orange.

The servant was surprised but accepted his request. “Good, wait a minute.”

Half-thrumped Shuji sat leaning back in his chair. He didn't even bother to open his pocket book. Just don't take off the mask and watch from behind the glasses frame in a throbbing pain that doesn't stop in his chest.

Shuji opens the phone and calls the clinic.

“Hello, I want to make an appointment." Could it be that my age is not long? "—I'll be coming tonight. Right, for personal inspection.”

Shuji closed the call. Fifteen minutes later the menu arrived. Wordlessly Shuji started eating, occasionally glancing at the Orange table.

Is he blind? Shuji grumbling. With stature like this, style of eating, and he who has opened the mask despite sitting on his side profile, how can the woman not realize that this is him.

Shuji is getting upset.

Noticed by someone you like, no problem. Only if the person does not have the person he himself likes.

Shuji ate the egg rice in front of him while holding back miserably. A couple sitting around his desk shared a dish with each other, which did not help at all.

Shuji lowered his head and focused on eating. He was afraid that if he glanced, he would see Orange feeding other men.

A waiter passed by and heard Shuji sobbing. Wipes were put on his desk without a sound.

“Thanks.” Shuji said without lifting his face and pulled the tissue, wiping away his piercing tears.

Already know singles, why come to this place. Saddened, the servant sighed inwardly and left shaking his head in pity.

Shuji crushes the tissue and stays silent for a moment. Fortunately, people focus on their own world. Although there were some who glanced, Shuji did not heed and continued to cry.

After that she came out following Orange and her partner—Shuji already accepted the fact that the man was an orange couple.

Wander around picking strawberries in the greenhouse, feeding the deer, then watch the forest through binoculars on top of the tree while Shuji can only look from below.

Shuji watched everything from afar. She faintly hears the two chatting in a language Shuji recognizes.

True, even their language is not the same. Shuji wailed while dragging his feet.

Unknowingly he had already followed until their activities were over.

But sadly, the woman in front of him was still unaware of this herself.

The bus drove along with the sound of news from the radio, chanting soft and soft dry season songs.

Shuji leaned his head against the window, did not listen to the sounds around him and just stared at one place.

Soft pink head. Seeing it for a long time, he imagined a lollipop. Maybe later he will buy a lot of pink lollipop candy and bite it fat until satisfied.

Like a trance he woke up when the pink head stood up.

The two got off at the stop and walked side by side towards the apartment building.

Just then, the gentle figure in front of him suddenly turned around. Shuji still had not reacted, and just stared straight.

Why does it seem like the woman is walking towards me? Shuji glanced behind him, wondering maybe the man who walked with the orange came along here too.

But empty. There's only him.

“Ji... Shuji!”

“Ah?”

"Shuji!!"

“Ahh?”

Shuji looked down at the woman he had been watching from afar, furrowing his brows. But those round cheeks made her so sweet.

Shuji laughed softly.

“Shuji?”

“Ya?”

“...You followed me?”

“.... uh-huh?” why does the question sound real? “Yes, I'm following you.”

The woman in front of him seemed surprised by Shuji's straightforward answer. Suddenly Orange did not know what to react to. Shuji, who saw him, laughed again.

“You laugh a lot... Are you happy?” Orange looked at the man in front of her worriedly. This is the first time that Jingga has seen Shuji laugh. Is his head okay?

“I'm not happy.. I'm just sad.” Shuji. Recalling the events he witnessed, tears fell through his mask.

“..?!” Orange rounded his eyes seeing Shuji crying, panicking. “K-you why? Who made you cry?” given the figure of Shuji who was alone faced with depression but never cried though, Orange softened his tone.

What will you do when a handsome man cries in front of you weakly? It's hard for people to be untouchable. Especially this Shuji.

“Let your mask down.” The word orange slowly.

Still crying, Shuji lowered his mask. Her cheeks and nose looked red.

Orange breathed. “Open his glasses.” When did he wear glasses? Orange wonders.

Without a word Shuji pulled his glasses, holding them lethargic beside his body.

How could this man listen so obediently?  Whatever Orange thought at that time was instantly forgotten. He who was about to interrogate was void as soon as he saw the situation.

“Why are you crying? Hm?” The orange raised the tissue in his hand and pressed slowly onto Shuji's face to absorb the tears.

“I...” Shuji stared at the woman in front of him but said nothing. The woman in front of him also did not push and ended up taking him home.

Then like clock teeth that lock each other, with a click, the machine rotates.

Shuji wiped away his tears, following the orange to the apartment building from behind like a duckling following his mother.

His brain wondered: ???

“Log in and rest.” Orange stood in front of him and ordered.

Shuji said nothing, just nodded and opened the door.

That's when he realized.

“What is?” Shuji stared at his miserable state in the mirror reflection near the entrance. Her hair was messy, her face was wet and her eyes were swollen.

Done already.

Shuji supported his head which felt instantly dizzy.

The phone in his coat rang.

“Halo?”

“Pak, for tonight's appointment I confirm once again, yes.” heard a voice from across.

“Cancel.”

“Ya?”

“I canceled check. I'm not sick anymore." Shuji closed his eyes tightly.  "I want to die right away.” Shuji ended the call and lamented himself for a long time.

He crawled onto the sofa and lay down.

What the hell just happened? Did he actually cry like a madman in front of the woman he liked just now? Shuji you're crazy, just die.

But Sweet comforted me, she gently wiped away my tears. He could die happy.

He could die now, he had no more face to meet with the Orange after this.

Shuji opened his phone, about to format the contents before he died.

Then his hand stopped at one app he had installed not long ago. Oh, that's right too. I haven't checked this one yet.

Shuji shakes pressing on him. The application is connected to the camera not far away and on the screen of the phone immediately appears a picture of a wall that is blocked by green rods.

Shuji was aghast and raised the volume to the maximum.

Crisps, crisps, crisps.

From across the street, Shuji heard a voice like someone was eating a cake.

Shuji sat down seriously and the phone was placed close to his ear.

He caught a rustling sound then heard the sound of news from the tv, covering another smaller sound.

Shuji moved towards the charger when his phone showed signs of a weak battery. Connecting his phone with his tv device, he raised the volume.

From all sides of her apartment, she could now hear the same sound from the apartment next door.

Because the flower pot she delivered this morning was placed on a shoe rack, the picture shown on the television screen was only a wall and a small area of the door.

“...” Dead, is it dead? If he died, would he still be able to see all this? Listening to the adorable voice of Orange? No, he won't be able to.

If he's a ghost, it's okay. But if he goes straight to hell, it'll be a goodbye forever.

As he heard the therapy, slowly Shuji's mood calmed down. He also began to work as usual. Write articles, clean up, read books. All he did while listening to the sound of the apartment next door.

Suddenly, the sound of the crowd across vanished. Shuji instantly sharpened his hearing and walked to the front of the tv.

He heard the sound of steps approaching. On the television screen, he saw the figure of a passing orange seem to open the door with a plate in his hand.

“!” Shuji could hear the sound of footsteps in the corridor.

He immediately took the remote and turned off the tv. Then press the power button on his phone, along with that the sound of the bell is heard.

“....” almost.

**

The orange waited in front of the door for a few minutes before the person inside opened it.

Standing in the doorway, Shuji lowered his eyelids and still looked lethargic.

“You okay?” ask Orange carefully. Thinking about how this man had cried before, Orange could not imagine what had happened to him.

“Hm.”

Look, even his voice is still hoarse. “You want me to make honey water?”

“...no... yeah.no, I mean. I have honey.”

Orange smiles hearing that. “I know, but I want to make it for you.” He then handed him a plate with his homemade oseng mushroom. “It's a pity that I haven't been shopping, can only cook this today.”

“Forku?”

“If you have prepared your own meal menu..”

“No, I haven't had time to cook yet.” Said Shuji quickly.

Hm, I think so too. Orange just nodded. “You wait here, I make it first, yes.” The orange turned back to his apartment to make warm honey water.

Shuji stood stiffly on the spot, wanting to open his phone and listen, but held himself back. If the orange returns quickly.

Shuji counted the— four minutes later, Orange came back with a green mug in her hand.

“Nih.”

“Thank you.”

“You enter.”

Shuji did not protest and entered. He closed the door slowly without daring to stare at Orange.

After the door was perfectly closed and locked, Shuji placed the plate and mug in his hand before stepping wide into the living room and restarting the device he had turned off.

“Sial.” Shuji breathed regretfully as he did not get to see the figure of an orange enter the apartment. But he was immediately comforted when he heard the sound of earthy plates and spoons. In spirit he took bread and ate with his friend the rice that the Orange shared.

It felt like they were eating together.