It Turns out There's Love

44 - I LOVE YOU, ZAFIRA

Now the two friends stand facing each other with eyes looking at each other. Fariz still placed both hands on Zafira's shoulders.

"Zafira, there's nothing to worry about, I'm fine. But for the last time, I want to express my feelings and you should know this. Later if you had been Ronald's wife, I wouldn't be able to say this to you again. I love you, Zafira.., Because of my love, I have let you down and hope that you will live happily with the man of your choice. But if one day you get hurt because of your husband, I'll always be there for you" the expression of love finally came out of the man's mouth.

Zafira. His eyes opened wide, staring at Fariz. She did not expect that in the seconds one month before her wedding day, Fariz actually said heartbreaking love words to hear.

Fariz said softly, it feels like he wanted to pour a clear circle from the corner of the eye but he tried to hold it, when saying that he would let the girl he loved live happily with another man.

Fariz remained relaxed and calm in front of Zafira with the intention that the girl would not know the wounds she was now harboring. As much as his love for Zafira forced him to pretend to look tough and fine.

The girl's eyes suddenly let out a clear circle and fell onto her cheeks. He stared unblinkingly at the man who had just said a word of love for him. Not the happiness gained after hearing the expression of love from Fariz, but on the contrary, the girl's feelings turned sad.

He felt he had broken Fariz's feelings. Rejecting his love dozens of times and making him wait for decades but ended up in vain.

But he also could not force a feeling, if his heart did consider Fariz to be nothing more than a friend and brother. It was also impossible for him to leave Ronald, the man he loved who had been a resident in his heart since he was in High School.

Then what about Zafira's feelings when yesterday first hugged Fariz, giving rise to a subtle and vague beat in his heart? Where does that feel go? I don't know, the feeling evaporated, disappeared and forgotten after Zafira got a rose from Ronald and a marriage invitation from the lover.

For a few minutes Zafira and Fariz were still looking at each other, a thousand words still. Only the eyes hint at a million meanings. Whatever is implied by that gaze is only the two of them and God knows.

Slowly Zafira stepped closer towards Fariz, extending both hands and hugging the man's body.

"Fariz..," Zafira was heard sobbing tightly hugging the man in front of her.

Fariz became surprised and was nervous about getting a hug from the girl. This was the second time Zafira had embraced him, stirring up nervousness in her heart. But behind his nervousness, there was a greater sense than that, that the pain that was so intense pierced his heart.

Without feeling clear water flowed from Fariz's eyes. But his hand immediately wiped those tears. He doesn't want to until Zafira finds out.

This is the second time they hug after a few days ago they also had a hug on the side of the road. This afternoon the girl hugged Fariz again as a sign of her apology and expression of guilt.

"I'm sorry Fariz, I'm sorry." the girl couldn't hold back the tears and spilled on her chest.

Fariz was swept away in silence. There were no words to express his feelings at this moment. Sad, disappointed, wounded and shattered fused in each of his breaths.

"I'm sorry.., to this day I haven't been able to return your feelings. I know your heart must have been deeply hurt by my marriage plans.," Zafira repeatedly said her apologies and guilt to Fariz while tightening her arms to the man's body.

Fariz was silent, speechless and doing nothing. Just hearing every sentence that came out of Zafira's mouth.

Fariz's hand moved to grab Zafira's head and rubbed the girl's hair.

Fariz took a deep breath and set the breath to look calm. He tried to convince his heart that everything that happened was the Will of God and had to be accepted with sincerity.

"No need to apologize. I've taken it all away" said Fariz, having to say the word sincerely, lying to his heart. The truth is he hasn't been able to do that.

"But Fariz.., are you going to let me know if my marriage is going to take place next month?" said Zafira still in a sobbing voice.

Fariz was aghast but still covered his shock. He did not expect Zafira's marriage to take place so soon. Just counting the days, only the remaining one month, Zafira would truly belong to someone else.

Like a knife scratches the heart. Bleeding but not blood. Wound, that's what Fariz is feeling right now. It really feels like heart-wrenching.

The advice of his mother, Tina, continues to remember him, to be a reinforcement for him so as not to be fragile and fall. He must learn to let go and let go. It's not why his dream was wiped out for the happiness of the girl he loves. It was not why his love was broken as long as he could see Zafira always smiling happily.

"Do you really love Ronald?" Fariz asked softly, still clutching the girl's body.

Zafira was silent in Fariz's arms. Her lips were heavy enough to express love to Ronald in front of Fariz. He knew the current situation was not the right time to discuss his feelings for Ronald. But Zafira could not keep quiet either. He had to answer Fariz's questions so that things could be clearer and more open.

"Yes, I love her, but I don't want to lose you either, Fariz. I can't stop my feelings. In a way, I love Ronald and will soon marry him. On the other hand, I love you like my brother and want you to stay close to me. I've known you from childhood and couldn't afford to lose you. Please stay close to me and never stay away from me. I want you to be like Zafran, who will never leave me. Whatever happens in the future, we will remain friends and brothers. Me, Zafran and you," the guilty Zafira pinta must utter all that.

There is no need to ask how the man feels hearing the word love from Zafira that is reserved for other men. Fariz had long hoped that Zafira would say love for him, but all that was hope would never come true. She knew, Zafira would never say a word of love let alone give that love to her.

The wound in Fariz's heart felt increasingly gaping, difficult to close back. The pain ripped the heart to its heart.

Hearing no reply from Fariz, Zafira said.

"Fariz, promise me you won't stay away from me? Only you and Zafran are very good brothers and always take care of me. I don't want to lose any of you. Please please release me. Understand my feelings. It's impossible that when I get married, you choose to go and be a stranger to me" the girl pleaded.

The man's throttling was choked to hear Zafira telling him to let go. Fariz wanted to give the girl away, but it was difficult. His mouth spoke softly but his heart was not yet able to accept.

Silent mood. The afternoon breeze hit the faces of the two who were being hit by the concussion.

...*******...