I'm the Princess of an Actor

Chapter 9: The Conversation

"Don't lie to yourself, Khansa!"

"Mother is my mother! A woman who only conceived and gave birth for 9 months more, could not compare to the woman who raised me for 19 years with her heart wound!"

"True, we can't compare. Because without him, you wouldn't be here or calling Mom the way you are now. Without him, there would be no Khansa Rumaisa that I would have to raise!" 

I was surprised to hear her words that felt so meaningful, why now do you want me to consider that woman .. mother?.

"You wouldn't exist without him, but you would live without your mother!"

"Who said Ma'am? If you don't take care of me, isn't it very likely my life will be very bad. I could be a bum, a beggar, or even a prostitute*r. And most likely, I'll die before I can even walk or talk."

"Stop Khansa! She's still your mother! I hate it, but that doesn't mean I want you to feel the same way. Don't hate the woman who sacrificed her life to give birth to you!" Mom looked at me, her speech and face scared me a little. He looked so angry and angry.

"You're only 19, you never know what happened in the past. Don't judge your real mother just for seeing your suffering!"

"Lady..."

"For now I can't say it, but trust me if your birth mother isn't as bad as you think she is. Sorry, can't tell you now."

After a moment of silence, my mother walked into the house, leaving me confused by her attitude. Mom, as if trying to apply it to my mind, if my real mother wasn't a bad person, as I thought.

...🍁...

Geck! Geck! Geck!

"Mom? It's lunch time!" call me after knocking on the door, bringing mom's favorite food, chicken soup.

I didn't answer or open the door, I tried to grab the door handle and open it slowly, apparently unlocked.

I saw my mom sitting in her wobble chair with her glasses perched on her nose, trying to put some thread in the needle. With a dress on his lap.

I approached him slowly, after putting food on the nightstand. I sat in front of him who seemed to not consider my existence, still busy with threads and needles in his hand.

Curse the two objects, then put the thread into the pinhole easily. He looked at me indifferently, picking up the needle with the thread I was thrusting.

"Mother angry?"

Mother did not answer, busy sewing a button that was released from a long shirt that turned out to be Mira's clothes.

"Why are you mad at me for someone who's gone?"

She looked at me sharply, disagreeing with what I said. "He may still be alive!"

"really? Have we been moving house all this time?"

"What do you mean?"

"If she really was still alive, would she not miss the child she was born with at all? We never moved, and if he did find me, he should have come here because I'm sure he knows this house." I smiled smirkingly, while Mom looked stunned.

"But what? After 19 years I even found out that I wasn't Mom's real son. He never came here just to see me from outside the house. No neighbors said there was a woman standing outside to see me. That proves, if he's gone."

"There's a man who always follows you without you noticing."

"What?" I was surprised, my mother said something I didn't expect.

"No! Mommy must be wrong. If it's true that he always follows me, I'm sure he has nothing to do with that woman, because she's gone!" I denied it to my mother, as well as my own mind that began to feel uneasy if what I said was true.

"If you're that sure, you'll have to find her grave!"

Mother's words make me not to think, why did you keep meeting me with my real mother? Even if the woman is dead.

"What if he's never found, and buried in the sea!" my reply is getting upset.

"Say that after you try to look for him and he really is nowhere to be found!" the snapping put the sewing needle and clothes in his hand on his lap with a rough.

"Why do you want me to look for him?"

Mom grabbed her clothes and needles, stood up and put them on the chair, then looked at me with a face I could hardly guess.

"Because she's your mother!" her jolt hurt me, why do you keep trying to make me think of that woman, mom.

I stood, right in front of him.

"If you want me out of this house, say it clearly! Don't make me look for that woman for you to make an excuse to kick me out!" my jolt could no longer hold back the tears that accompanied the anger of hearing mother's words.

Mother seemed to flinch, without waiting for her to speak I went straight out of her room and into my room, then locked the door.

I sat down leaning against the door, covered my face with both hands and sobbed. This chest felt so tight, as mom kept telling me to look for the woman. I told you very clearly that I didn't want to look for him.

Huh! I should have realized how much she hated me. Even though he cares about me passing out of the house, it doesn't mean he's completely exposed to his past.

Seeing me of course still keeps his wounds gaping. I should have realized, even though mother loves me, but her hatred is not just gone either.

I decided to comply with her wishes, started putting clothes into suitcase bags and putting all the clothes in them. After making sure the items I needed had been put in the suitcase, I immediately grabbed the sling bag beside the door and rushed out.

However, just as this step was preparing to exit the main door, the voice called out to me quietly.

"Khanza!"

I turned my head with a heavy heart, looking at the mother I saw trying to hold back her tears.

"Mother has no intention of expelling you, do not look for it just because of Mother's words. Please don't go, Khansa." she said in a trembling voice.

I closed my eyes for a moment, to neutralize the emotions that had been uncontrollable. I should be able to think clearly, mother couldn't possibly have intended to throw me out.

He, really just wanted me to find my real mother, nothing more. Merely, I have no intention of undoing my intentions. I will find the woman who gave birth to me. Not for wanting to meet her, but for the sake of fulfilling mother's orders.

"I'll be back, either after meeting him, or after finding his grave." Overtime, put the suitcase bag just like that and immediately clutched his body tightly.

He returned my embrace slowly, until after a while our embrace unraveled.

"I'm going to look for him, and make sure he's gone so I can stay with Mom in peace."

"Don't expect Khansa's death!"

Seriate.