Forced to Marry Stepbrother

2. I'm Dip3rk0sa, Ma

Open these eyes slowly. Directly, staring blankly at the ceiling of the room up there.

Both hands raised. Caught the face I wanted to hide. Shame to show this contemptible face, even on the ceiling of the room though.

“Why did all this have to happen to me, Lord?”

Start this oral noise. Protesting the Creator for what has happened to the self.

“Mama..., Dien.., Papa. Cana is no longer holy. Cana dirty.”

These eyes are starting to water. More precisely, these clear water droplets return to drip.  Exactly, like last night.

“Kana..., wake up, son! You should go to college. Come on, honey wake up! Mama has prepared your favorite breakfast.”

Quite surprised to hear Mama's sudden voice. I pulled the blanket and wrapped it around the body that is not wearing a single piece of clothing.

I tried to push my feet to the floor. Means to get out of bed because you don't want Mama to see me in this condition.

Honestly, my body feels excruciating pain, especially at the bottom there. However, I desperately held back.

Quickly, pick up clothes that are still splattered everywhere. Looks like last night, the man did not know himself was throwing it away so it was not because of this.

“Kana..., are you still not awake, dear?”

I heard Mama call me once again. Keep knocking on my room door.

“Iya, Mother. Kana just woke up. This is going to take a shower first. Later if it's finished surely Kana down,” my word is hoarse.

Maybe as a result of crying all night, my throat became so dry.

“Mama wait below yes, Darling. Don't dawdle! You're late!”

After saying that, I could hear the sound of the footsteps of the woman I called Mama away from the room.

While carrying all the clothes I had taken, I dragged my feet towards the bathroom. Put the clothes that are not shaped carelessly into the washing machine.

I just want to throw it all away. Some of them are also not worth wearing anymore. But no matter what, I still want to keep it.

Perhaps, I was so insane that I still wanted to see the clothes I wore when my chastity was taken away.

“B3r3ngs3k. You fucking man. I hate. I hate him.”

My body is on the bathroom floor. Along with tears that shed.

“What's my fault? Why does all this have to happen? What...what's my fault, Lord?”

Hugging his knees deeply. Spilling all the grief—clap—which I'm not sure if after this my life will still be fine.

Quite a long time silent with a position that I don't know. I don't know this self-condition. But one thing is certain. I'm wretched.

Trying to rise. Take a deep breath. Then, throw it away.

Removing the tears that I believe will soon come back out.

Thirty minutes more locked yourself in the bathroom. Cleans all stains that are attached to the body. Especially the traces left by men less than 4j4r.

Go on and on rubbing this contemptible body. However, no matter how hard I cleaned it, the former man did not go away.

“I hate myself. I... hate..”

Again.., spilled tears that have not stopped since.

“Na, are you done, honey? It's been seven hours past ten minutes.”

I heard someone's voice. Although vague, I was very sure that it was Mama.

Looks like Mama's back in my room because she's probably worried about me being down too long.

Turn off the tap and reach for the towel after previously removing traces of clear crystals that are still standing.

Trouble forcing your feet to walk, get out of the bathroom.

Bringing a foot to the door of the room because it intends to open the door for Mama.

“Na, you why lam—, jeez..., darling you why? Why is your face so pale? You're sick, Na?”

“Tell me Mama. What really happened?” he said while looking at me seriously.

“A-I am-p*rkosa, Ma.”

I lowered my head because I did not dare to look at my face. The guilt of not being able to keep my crown back made my heart wince.

I am b0d0h. Just hand over my chastity to that man b.

“A... a-what, Na? On-dip**kosa?”

Mama hugged me. I hold him tightly.

“Tell me Mama, Na. Who's done that? Is Dien the one? The child does not know himself. Did the man forget that his mother had obviously helped you, but this is the payoff for you?”

Release hug. Mama looked at.

Although from the expression of Mama who looks calm, I am sure that the woman next to me is angry.

“Mama will make the same calculation of the boy, dear. Mama will force him to take responsibility. Mama promise.”

I'm shaking.

“Bu-not Dien, Ma. Dien wouldn't dare to do such a heinous thing. Dien loves me very much. He's a fine man.”

“If it wasn't Dien, who, Na? Say the same Mama. Mama will still hold her accountable.”

Raise your head solely so that this clear water stops flowing.

Staring at Mama straight though still blocked by tears that never subsided.

“K-Kak Zii's. D-he who su-dah did it, Ma,” I said as I pleased.

“A-what? Zii?”

Mama looks shocked. His expression was right. Surprised is incredible.

“Don't joke, Na? How could Zii do that? He's Yours Brother. Not likely. Mama don't believe.”

Mama shook her head. It was as if he was trying to deny what he had just heard.

“I'm not lying, Ma. Why would I lie. The truth is so. That cunning man who made Kana like this,” replied to me with a trembling voice.

Mama tight-lipped. Turned his face away from me.

Mom was quiet for a long time. Until finally, the middle-aged woman replied. But not the answer I want to hear. The answer is beyond belief.

An answer that was even very painful to me. As if, no human would believe that such a sentence came out of her mouth as my birth mother.

“If what you say is true, if Zii has done that..”.

Mama looked at. Looks sad indeed.

The woman took a breath, and she threw it away.

He continued saying, “Hide this incident, especially from your Papa. Mama's not divorced with him yet, Na. Mama doesn't want us to suffer like we used to. You understand right, dear by Mama's intention?”

I shake my head over and over again.

“No, Ma. Kana is not able. We need to tell Papa right away. That man should be punished. He must get his payback. It can't be like this, Ma. No.”

My head's bowed. The clear water that never stopped immediately fell one by one. Wetting sofa.

Stuffy. My chest slashed. Nope. More than that. I fear. Really scared. What if the accuser does the action again? What if he again forces me to satisfy him?

Will I be able to fight back and reject him if he re-forces? What if it turns out that in the end, this self still loses and finally gives up? Is there a bright front for me? Is there any chance for me to be happy after this?

Just thinking about it has made my whole body tremble, my stomach feels nauseous. Especially if it is repeated.

My head is back. No. gabe. None of this can happen again.

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