Forced to Marry Stepbrother

13. Returnees

I just stared blankly at the river in front of me. The water is so calm. Not a lot of rubbish is going around. You could say the water is clear.

Again I looked around timidly when someone passing by was watching. I deliberately looked for a quiet corner of the river, spared the crowds because I didn't want anyone to see me doing my stunts.

Yeah, I don't have any hope of living. Whether or not I breathe in this world, no one will care. There really isn't. There are no relatives where I share grievances. My life has really been ruined. So I am free to live.

For the last time I took a deep breath and threw it away slowly. After being satisfied to see the beauty of the river where I stand, I decided to start throwing one by one my goods into it.

Of course very slowly and carefully because I do not want to make the water rippling that can attract the attention of people.

There's nothing left now. I threw everything into the river.

Ah, briefly! It seems that in my hand there is still one thing left. A pair of silver rings containing the letters K and D.

I smiled at her side.

Yes, it was the ring I prepared for my fiancee's event with Dien.

I don't know why one clear crystal escaped my eyes again.

It seems, this ring is so precious that I can't bear to throw it away. Until finally, I put it in the grass near one of the trees in the river area.

Closed eyes. Removing the remaining tears that had fallen.

“Goodbye Brother Zii. Good bye Dien. I love you guys. I hope you find a better woman than me. I'm pampering. Hope you guys don't look for me because from today on I'll be gone for good!”

Without waiting for anything else, I immediately threw myself in. The calm river water turned out to be so cold that it penetrated into my bones.

Not only did I get there, my body gradually felt taken over. I don't know. Maybe water has entered the whole body making my vision dim.

My hearing is listening. With other senses. Everything really feels empty.

The last thing I could hear was the sound of someone screaming.

It seemed that he needed help so much that his voice sounded so hysterical. I don't know. I don't want to know more. I want to fall asleep. I'mtired.

...****...

My eyes feel heavy. Unable to open. While my head is so dizzy. However, my ears began to be disturbed by voices that were so foreign.

After much effort, my eyes finally opened.

“Aalhamdulillah's. Yes Rabb. You are aware too, Son!”

I rubbed my net because I felt foreign to what I saw.

“Tan-te who?” I said with great difficulty because my throat was tight.

Instead of answering my question, the woman who was about the same age as my mother even offered me a glass of water.

“Drink first, Son,” said friendly. A maternal smile also rose on her lips.

“Content, Aunt,” I said still in a hoarse voice.

Gegas picked up the drink he had been drinking after I managed to sit down— tendered at the head of the bed.

“What's your name, darling? How old are you?”

The woman asked after putting the empty glass I had just returned.

“Ka-na, Aunt. Sa-ya 19 years,” I said a little stammered.

“Why can Kana be in that place, dear? Did Kana fall?”

Hearing the question of the middle-aged woman instantly made my gaze blur.

The pieces of memory a few hours ago returned downstream in the mind. I don't feel like my net feels hot.

“Crying Dear. Aunty is there for you,” said the peach-hooded woman as she hugged me inside.

Cry broke.

Between the cries of haru and the cries of regret mixed into one. I felt overwhelmed because I was still destined to live. While on the one hand, I really regretted trying to finish myself off.

I am a b0doh woman.

The aunt I didn't know her name let go of her embrace. I looked at him softly.

“Kana..., no matter how heavy the problem that God has laid out for us, surely and always there will be a solution, son. Unless we give up so easily. Especially to the point of looking for a shortcut like Nak Kana had done. Really, Son. It's not the solution we'll get. Even our sins are increasing many times over,” he said while several times wiping away my tears that continue to flow.

I just fell silent while bowing. There was no reply I could make to the defense because I realized that what I did a few hours ago was a big mistake.

“Where to rest here only, yes. Mother stay first. Gonna have dinner ready. If Kana needs anything, just call Mom. Mom is in the kitchen, in the front room.”

I could only stare blankly at his back. My feelings are still mixed.

Especially after hearing the words of the smiling friendly woman earlier. Yes, I should have understood that my choice of wanting to self-buh was clearly wrong.

I know very well that my sins are still too much, but not repent. I chose to add to my sins.

Perhaps, this is why God has not taken my life because He still wants me to fix myself.

“Can Aunt teach me how to pray?”

Out of nowhere, those words just slid from my mouth.

The woman who saved me stopped her steps. He turned and came straight to me.

“Aalhamdulillah's. MashayAllah. Sure, Honey,”.

He also came back to kiss my forehead. This time longer than before. Although it was not very clear, I could see a tear dripping down her cheek.

“Alhamdulillah, Son. God loves you, my dear. God loves you.”

“Does God still forgive a hin4 woman like me, Auntie? Does God really love me?”

“Definitely, Dear. God's forgiveness is very broad as long as we do not give up and keep trying to fix ourselves.”

I was just about to return to answer before that familiar voice undoes my intentions.

“Assalamualaikum, Mom. Dien home.”

“Na, a minute yes. Son Mother home.”

I nodded, but my sight was completely blank. My body has been tense since when.

“Dien?”

I unconsciously kept repeating that name. A name I miss so much. How's things? Is he okay? How's his mother doing? Is Aunt Mita still sick or has she...?

Then, why is Dien here now and calling that woman Mom? What the hell happened to him? There are so many questions I want to ask him.

“Yes Allah. Did You purposely meet me again with Dien alone to reunite us?

If that's true, I'm very grateful. I promise this time I won't betray her again. I'll fix myself and re-knit the relationship that once ran aground.

Please help me do it. Hopefully Dien will still accept me who is full of shortcomings.”

Again, my tears fell. I don't know what this cry is. But, obviously I know that from this moment on my life will really change. I'm sure my happiness is getting closer especially with Dien by my side.

“Where's mom from? Why do you have eyes like you've been crying?”

Although faint, I could still hear Dien's chatter with the woman he called Mother.

“Tadi, I've been helping people drowning in the river. Out of pity, Mom let him stay at our house for a while. Until he is completely recovered.”

“Drowning? How can? Where's the guy now? What Dien can see. Who knew Dien could help find his family?”

“Mom also does not know what the reason is. Kana kid hasn't told me about Mom. I also did not dare to force her to tell a story. The guy's inside. Again I told you to rest. Poor thing. It still seems to be in shock, son.”

“Ta-in Mom says na-name Ka-na?”

“Iya. Cana. Son's beautiful. He said he was only 19. Two years from you.”

A moment of silence because I didn't hear any more conversations.

“Di..., you why, son? Why is your face paling like this?”

“Ng-no papa, Ma'am. Just exhausted. I-I go to the room first. Want to rest.”

“Then, meet his Nak Kana when? He said he wanted to see?”

“Ah..., i-it's tomorrow only, Mom. Now Dien is busy. Dien still needs a break. Dien is lazy to meet strangers. Which there Dien also follow the pain later.”

“Huss..., don't talk like that, son. Not good.”

My chest is instantly congested. Why did Dien say that? What does it mean to make him sick? It was as if I was a poison that could destroy it.

Does he not miss me? Don't you want him to see me? Asking me? Ask about my life all this time? Won't he hear my story or explain to me why he canceled our engagement?

‘Di..., have you really forgotten me?’

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