FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)

PART 208 "Secret of God"

*Tsaniya Tabriz

Of July.

I am eighteen years old today. Seeing people so happily celebrating a birthday party together with all these students, why do I feel like people are harboring an intent they are deliberately hiding. For the celebration of milad, actually I do not expect to be celebrated as lively and as sacred as this. Pondok putri and hut putri see the Quran since ba'da dawn earlier. And, it was purposely kept secret from me. Brother Ulya told me that this event was devoted to me. But my heart has become masygul. Sungkan mixed with pleasure. Sister Ulya also said, if honestly ummik and Mas Nizam have a certain purpose besides celebrating my birthday. But, Brother Ulya refused to explain. Could they pray for me so that Mas Nizam and I will be given offspring soon?

Five months we had sailed the household ark without the weeping of a sweet son. For five months I waited for the second week myself. I bought a lot of test-packs without people's knowledge, including Mas Nizam. Until now, he probably only knew that I remained adamant on my desire not to want to have a baby first. But, know my heart is not that hard, Mom. Seeing you always ask me to prepare with the perfume you like, wear nice pajamas, and with the neat curls of hair on the nights of the second week, my heart is more and more open to pray to God, Mas. But, what if His will is beyond the desire of both of us.

Last night I just checked again, but the results came back to nothing. I thought my moon was coming today, but it turned out that my menstrual cycle was going backwards again. I don't focus on listening to ummik teaching in the microphone, my father drifted in any direction. The Koran page I was supposed to turn back to, I let it stay the way it was. Kutby Kak Ulya who focus on listening to ummik readings. I watched her stomach growling. Am I healthy? Riled.

Around four in the afternoon, ba'da salat jamaah, the peak of my birthday is celebrated in ndalem. Santri-santri is only called tarpaulin in front of the ndalem while singing a song.

Mabruk alfa mabruk, 'alaika mabruk

Mabruk alfa mabruk, 'alaika mabruk

Yaumiladik mabruk

Starting from the cake and the tumpeng, I have to cut everything immediately. I share it with those who love me. I also had time to feed Mas Nizam in front of the camera who was ready to take pictures.

He whispered, "Give me, honey. Thank you, my wife."

I gave him a smile. "Yes, Mas Nizam.ku."

He also smiled widely. Showing his teeth.

"Ning, I want to tell you" whispered Ufi as I gave her a cake.

"What?"

"Let me tell you."

I took Ms. Ufi to the room after she came to clean the kitchen and living room. Mas Nizam was still outside talking to Yazeed.

"Where?"

I told him to sit on my bed.

"As expected on my wedding day, Ning. Remember right?"

"Are you pregnant?"

He's nodding. Eyes glazed. "I know today. Before leaving I checked. Alhamdulillahot. The first person I told."

"Congratulations, yes. May it be healthy always the baby and the mother."

This is what I expected. The one I was waiting for after Yazeed's wedding. But why does my heart feel so bad. How's my? I shouldn't feel like this. I try to ignore my sadness.

"Supervised suwun, yes, Ning. It's also thanks to doane sampeyan."

"Can I have your opinion?"

"Yeah. Sure can. What, Ning?"

"Do you think I should have a health check?"

"Is there a problem?"

"I'm afraid I'm not well."

Expressions worry me.

"What are the symptoms?"

"There's nothing. It feels rich healthy. But, do I need a check?"

"Just now..This means what health check? Everything or...? Or, uterus health?"

I am ashamed to answer. But I hope he understands.

"But, Mas Nizam likes sprouts the same."

"Well, yeah, Ning. We are just civilians. Meningan directly recommended to the obstetrician. But I'm sure it's not because you guys aren't healthy. Yo just that was the test of a great man. A warm and harmonious couple. Many couples who immediately have children, finally do not have a lot of courtship opportunities."

I agree with all of his words. But, it feels awkward to start this theme conversation with Mas Nizam. He never opened it first. In fact, I also know she is also quite often asked if I am pregnant or not.

Arrive tomorrow. I asked Kang Bimo to take me to the hospital.

"So, is there a serious problem?"

"When viewed from hysterescopy just now, Ms. Niya fertile really. It was said that the menstrual cycle is normal, vaginal discharge is normal, not excessive pain during menstruation, menstruation is not flaky. That's all part of the sign of the uterus in good health. If the HSG results, there is no blockage of anything in the fallopian tubes. The size of the uterus is normal."

I chose the most trusted obstetrician in this hospital. I purposely asked him to check with any tool as long as the results were accurate. I'll be completely satisfied.

"Why wasn't her husband invited, Ma'am?"

"Oh, that's my husband still on campus."

"Sometimes obstacles can exist in your husband, Ma'am. If you have to check, her husband is invited. So, later it can be concluded that the problem is with whom. But, just calm down. The results of the examination today, showed good results. Normal. The patient, Ma'am. Not immediately given momongan, does not mean because it is not healthy. It's not time yet. The important thing is to take care of health and keep trying. If there is a problem, later can promil consultation. Could go straight to me or to another more professional doctor."

"Thank you for all the advice, Doc."

Kang Bimo asked as he opened the car door, "Go to campus or go home, Ning?"

"Continue, Kang. I have a ten-twenty schedule."

The car drove slowly.

"Kang, can you please turn on the music."

"Al-hub fi shumti?"

"Yang zaujati, Kang."

Right he said first. The song that Mas Nizam liked, now I also like it.

"Record, Ning..."

"Why, Kang?"

"Commensure does not want to incandescent?"

"What massage?"

"Therapy, Ning, I mean."

"I'll talk to Mas Nizam. Suwun, Kang, he suggested."

"Snapjeh. Napparent, Ning."

The clink of the wall clock in the room reads. Ticking in collaboration with silent singing. Mas Nizam was busy in front of his laptop screen. I finished murajaah and added memorization. I got up after putting my Koran on my pillow. I approached.

"Mas, am I bothering mboten (no)?"

"Hmm?"

"I bother?"

He silenced me. His fingers continued to type quickly. His eyes did not blink.

"It's just later, Mommy."

"Attent, yeah. This is important again. Sory, Princess." He looked at me only when he called me princess.

Good night everyone. Happy reading. Sorry if the Fizah update faltered. Preparation for the next novel. The reading book means. 😊🙏