FIZAH (Female Kolong Garbage)
PART 184 "Sin After Repentance"
*Tsaniya Tabriz
Furqan.
Ummik and Abah were waiting for us on the terrace. Stand with an anxious face. As soon as we got out of the car, ummik ran towards me. Hugging me is no fun. Ummik touched my hands, face, and body.
"Endi sing loro, Nduk?" (Where is sick, Nduk?)
"I'm not much, Mik. But, Brother..."
Ummik looked at brother.
Brother Ulya who was still wearing an apron immediately approached and embraced brother. I breathed the scent of onions from his body.
"What cooking?"
"Mas Favorites. What will I eat to cook."
"No need to." Brother stroked Kak Ulya's cheek before staring at ummik again.
"Mik, now Kang Nizam and I are better. Yeah but that was Kang Nizam. I'm not strong. Just drove an hour just left earlier."
"Yes Allaaaah."
"Yowis mlebu sek (yes already entered first)," said abah.
Sister Ulya has prepared a special food menu at the dining table. We were led there. Kak Ulya cheerfully opened the rice hood while perfunctory. First he smiled at my brother. He was very hopeful with his special cuisine, brother was excited again.
We also sat. Sister Ulya invited us directly to take rice and vegetables. But, Kak Ulya cooked a special meal for the three of us, chicken rice curry sauce team and pure milk with boba. He also explained that the boba was made by himself. Easier to digest than boba bought as usual. So, it is safe for those who still have problems with digestion.
"I'm bribing purun (mau)?" So bargain to the brother who actually wants to try to eat alone. That's how your attention is on my brother. A sincere and loving love.
I forgot something. Mr. Nizam did not eat. I'm rising. I approached Ufi's brother near the glass dish rack. I whispered, "Mbak, Mr. Nizam doesn't eat. Ask you to deliver the porridge and drink, yeah."
"Bad injuries too yo?"
"Just as bad as rich brother, Ma'am. Not to mention he was driving from the Jember border to here."
"Ooo. Now what's it gonna be?"
"How's it going?"
"Lha looks like Mr. Nizam is starving, Ning?"
"No hunger, huh?"
Ummik called out, "Nduk Niya, Mas Nizam maeng say goodbye?" (Nduk Niya, where did Mas Nizam go?)
"To his room, Mik."
Translate: (Ufi Master, deliver this team rice and milk!)
Ufi ma'am nodded. Come close. Take a bowl and a glass in both ummik hands. Thank goodness ummik turned out to care about Mr. Nizam. I'm embarrassed to have to ask Mbak Ufi to deliver food now. Not happy if it gets teased brother who often I teased.
Ufi is out.
After breakfast, ummik asked me and my brother to rest until their health was fully restored. Ummik was very worried about the battered face of his brother. Not to mention after ummik had his brother take off his shirt, then ummik found bruises on some parts of his body.
"Fakhar, invited shaman dijet yo, Le?"
Translation: (Fakhar, brought in a shaman massage huh, Le?"
"Let Ulya, Mik. Just someone who told me to massage. He passed out yesterday."
"Dragon too, Mik. Brother is projected six people."
"Yes, yes wis. Lek wong loro ndak ndak want to incandescent, kudu complete rest."
Translated: (Yes already. If you don't want a massage, you have to take a complete break)
"Yes anyway if the body feels good later the activity again, Mik," said brother.
The next day, the conversation I had spread a long time ago was finally questioned. At first it was ummik and brother who questioned it. When me and the two of them are now relaxing in the living room. Enjoy a serving of milk tea made by Mbak Ufi. I raised my head so ummik asked one question why yesterday could have happened like that. General questions. It is quite common to be asked by anyone if they do not know how it happened. But I want to avoid that question.
"Sir, how do you see ki piye?" (Sir, how is this silent?)
It was you who explained. Ummik understand and mangosteen. But, the series of sentences was still inviting question decak. My own brother asked me that, I have an enemy with whom.
"I don't have any enemies, Bang."
How do I get started? How could I let them listen to a story that I myself was so disgusted to hear? I trouble. A stack of words struggled in my mouth, but it was hard to get out. That word feels like it wants to go back to the esophagus. The thump in my chest no longer sounded normal. I'm not ready yet. I want to hide everything without anyone knowing. I want me to calm down without thinking about my past. It's disgrace. But, I didn't know the show in order to avoid that.
If I were to be determined that my story would be known to others, I would rather they know it not because I am telling it. Not through the mouth of someone who hates me. But, through those who understand my true story. Who will not drop my pride as a girl who is in the process of memorizing the Koran.
Once a man came to the Prophet saallallahu’alaihi wa sallam, saying, "O Prophet, I have been alone with a woman in the far side of the city, and I have fucked her. So this is from me and lay judgment on me as your heart wills." And Umar said to him, "God has covered up your sins if only You had covered them for yourself." But the Prophet saallallahu’alaihi wa sallam did not comment and the man was told to leave. Then, the Prophet saallallahu’alaihi wa sallam told someone to follow him, then he called him and read the verse," And establish the prayer on both sides of the day (morning and evening) and at the beginning of the night. Verily, good works do away with (sins) bad deeds. That's a warning to those who remember." (QS. Hud: 114). Then one of them asked, "O Prophet of Allah, does this apply to him?" He replied, "No, even this applies to all humans." (CHR. Muslims, Abu Dawud, At-Turmudzi, and An-Nasaai)
"Abang does not force. Yes if you don't answer. Don't force it, Deck."
That one long sentence is a reminder to all of us. Of course, we must have sinned that we really want to cover it up. Just like Tsaniya who wants to cover up her past until the end of life. The sin that only we and God know, and then we have kept it as deep as possible, try not to tell anyone. For therein lies God's forgiveness for us. So that after we regret the action, then the punishment of nasuha, we do not need to indulge in the mistakes we have done. That is our secret and God alone. We should treat others according to what they see. Leave all the secrets to Allah.
Ref: Sa'id Abdullah, Mu'sharoh bil Ma'ruf translated by Heri Purnomo, Know Your Wife.
Hopefully helpfully. 😊🙏5
