Enmeshed in the Love of a Married Man

1. About Ayu

Her name is Ayu Jelita, age 25. She is a widow who has held that status since she was 20 years old.

Being a widow is not a trivial thing, the widow must fight alone so that her image is good in the eyes of the community. Moreover, a widow like me, a young widow who was left dead by her beloved husband, must bear the burden of living alone, must be able to adapt to the current conditions felt.

However, the struggles and perceptions that exist in society are very unbalanced. Ayu who every day had to work for a glass of rice to eat with my elderly mother and her sister who was still sitting in school, even stamped as 'Junk' by the surrounding environment.

Gossip is scattered, if Ayu is a 'trashy' woman, that is the perception of society.

Not to mention, when trying to play a double role and dress up a little just to treat the taste of kangen wear make up, the citizens of NYinyir immediately take the stamp if Ayu is a comfort woman.

Learning self-awareness, patience, facing all the tests of life, not including the abuse in the environment. Ayu tried to resist emotions so as not to erupt the lava of Mount Merapi.

Sometimes they talk without thinking, but it is inappropriate to talk about social status. Because social status is fully guaranteed by the state, Human Rights, the Right to prosper. Although it looks economically prosperous, it does not look prosperous in the mind and feelings of Ayu.

'A widow left for dead is not an option, this has become the power of God, who would if her husband took his life to rest in nature.'

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Living as a widow in the village does eat a lot of heart. Actually Ayu house is located in a City M which is still one island with the State Capital. But the natives in the region where Ayu lives are still traditionally minded. Anything outside the mainstream is unacceptable. Ayu was a widow for so long, this was also a problem for them.

A grandfather in his sixties was always nosy asking Ayu.

"Why not marry again? Find your widower workmates there!"

"No sir" Ayu replied lightly.

"You're lacking effort. Don't you want any friends to share grief? Don't you remember sleeping with men anymore ? Don't want any more?"

'Duh, this Grandpa is becoming more and more provoking me to marry again. Did he think getting married was as easy as turning the palm of the hand?'

Getting married is not a race that quickly reaches the finish line. There is a lot to consider before you get married again. Many stories that Ayu heard about the misfortune of the widow who remarried. Willing to marry an established man in the hope that he will be happy with better economic conditions. It is not expected that her new husband is just a body capital. The property that he owned turned out to be the right of his children.

Not only did the Grandfather intensively interrogate Ayu, where had his efforts to get a new husband. There is still the Seventies Grandma who also often persuaded Ayu to marry a man.

"You're an educated man, it's easy to find a new husband. Life cannot go on alone. Need a friend's life."

Ayu replied with a face pretending to be merciful, "She prayed!"

Still clearly in Ayu's memory, the reaction of a mother who happened to sit next to her during a recitation before a wedding held by one of her neighbors.

That night Ayu came to fulfill his invitation and sat on the chairs that had been prepared while waiting for Ustadz who would give his tausyi. A mother sitting next to Ayu was unknown. It seemed that he was a distant guest who was not from the region where Ayu lived.

He asked Ayu's name, but when Ayu mentioned her name, the mother's face immediately changed.

"Whose husband's name?"

Apparently Ayu's answer was wrong according to him. The name Ayu means nothing. The mother needed a male name so what she wanted to hear was "Bu Andi "or "Bu Arman" not "Bu Yuni" or "Mother Goddess."

"I am the widow of Ma'am" said Ayu flatly.

Mother's reaction was amazing. His face immediately changed as if he was stirred by anger. Spontaneously he looked at Ayu and no longer spoke until the study was over.

'What's wrong?' think Ayu.

Ayu had honestly acknowledged her status as a widow. He looked as if Ayu was an unworthy despicable creature sitting beside him. They are both human but different status. Perhaps she considered her status higher because of having a husband. A widow does not deserve to be appreciated.

In the workplace, Ayu also formed a stereotype about how dangerous it is to befriend a widow. Women should keep their distance from widows, like a contagious virus. That's why married female friends seem reluctant to be friends with Ayu. Perhaps because there are three coworkers who become followers of Ayu. They also held the status of widows, but in contrast to Ayu whose widow was left dead, they became widows due to divorce.

Although after a few years of widows, two of them were already remarried. One pair is happy with his new life but one feels disappointed with his second marriage which does not match his expectations.

It is not just ordinary people who consider widows to be different from other women. In a more religious environment it is the same. Ayu had studied at a mosque. When Mr. Kyai called the word widow immediately followed by the words "nauzubillahi min dzalik" which means "We take refuge in God from this matter."

It is used when you see or hear something bad or unwanted. Instantly Ayu felt that he was not part of the congregation that was expected by Pak Kyai.

A widow is something bad and undesirable to be in that mosque. Ayu did not know how Mr. Kyai would react if his daughter or sister would one day become a widow. Would you still consider it bad or just as valuable as a married woman?

Everyone is free to comment on the widow. Some want to end immediately so as not to live alone. According to them, women should not live alone for too long. There must be a man who guards and protects her. The man was the husband of his life companion. Husband's name became a public name while his own name was limited to friends and work environments. So a married woman will lose her name in public.

However, they are more valued than a widow who has the freedom to use her own name. How could a woman who lost her name be so precious before another human being?

Ayu does not care if the widow is considered a contagious virus.

In addition to having to face the mouths of the widow haters, Ayu also had to meet people with the mentality of traders in worship. The first time I heard it, it surprised me. When I met the brother of my friend's ex-husband, he started advising Ayu.

"Custom yourself to the Tahajud prayer."

That's certainly good advice, but why would I consider him a merchant mentality in the worship business?

His life used to be ordinary. Living in a narrow housing without having a vehicle. Twenty years later, he changed his life. The house is large on the two-story. The vehicle is in the form of 2 new cars.

They have already taken the Hajj Plus program which costs hundreds of millions per person. Traveling abroad is nothing new for your family.

Children complete medical and pharmacy education whose tuition fees are not cheap. My life remains stagnant. Living in the house of the Father's relics, accompanied by my mother and younger brother, my brother with only a vehicle in the form of a motorcycle. I'm sure they assume I never prayed Tahajud which resulted in my life never increasing.

It turns out that not only those who are of the view that the worship that a person does will improve his life both in terms of career and economy. Uncle Ayu also said in a surprised tone.

"You pray a lot, pray a lot, and fast a lot, but why is your life so-so? Career is not clear, the economy is also mediocre, your sister has almost graduated from school but has not been able to work until now and more often troubles your life."

'Then what should I say to my uncle?'

Ayu is not the type of trader who diligently runs worship if it provides benefits. Perhaps Ayu belonged to the lovers of God who worshiped because of love for Him. Worship is carried out solely in order to obtain His pleasure and hope for an encounter with Him.

It is not wrong to link the success of the world with the perseverance of one's worship. It means that people who worship a lot are guaranteed a happy life in the afterlife. God has a secret we never know.

Why is his worship good his life path is not smooth?

God has other promises and plans that are certainly better for all humans. So do not judge a person whose life is mediocre surely because his worship is not good. Never pray or pray Tahajud. On the contrary, a good man does not always have to be recompensed in the world.

Free to say is the right of every human being, but they have no right to rule my life. I am not affected by human words. My life is not in human order and power.

'I took my own path with all the risks. I bow my face and I raise my hand to ask the Creator for the good of the world and the Hereafter. He sets a different destiny for each human being and I have to sincerely live it.'

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Today Ayu as usual is going to the market to buy necessities for food stall ingredients that he pioneered with his mother in recent months. After resigning from the taxation office where she works, Ayu decided to open a food stall in front of her house with her mother. The location of Ayu's house, which is in front of the highway, is a very strategic location to trade.

Since early in the morning, Ayu had already left for the market.

This morning at 07:00, Ayu was already in one of the markets located in the M City area where she lived. The market is very famous by local residents because it is one of the big markets in this city. Hustle and bustle in the market is indeed a hallmark of the place. Many people sell daily necessities such as vegetables, fruit, chicken, fish, snacks, and so forth. Ayu came quite early in the morning, then most of those who came were, parents who would make buying and selling transactions in the market. Just a little, Ayu saw a teenage boy who went to the market this morning. No wonder about it, because the traditional market is not attractive enough for young people today.

The atmosphere in the market never changes, it's just that the situation there is getting dirty and even looks seedy because there is a lot of garbage everywhere and the smell produced is really rotten in the fishy smell that is in fish or chicken. In addition, the state of the streets is quite muddy because the rest of the rain water overnight is quite heavy so as to cause a puddle of water that makes people in the market feel uncomfortable when walking. Not only that, there are still many hollow roads that make pedestrians always have to be careful. This muddy hollow road makes vehicles have to queue when passing through the market, making the streets slightly jammed, especially motor vehicles that have almost crowded the market area there.

During exploring the market, Ayu is accompanied by various music streams played by interconnected dvd traders, who increasingly enliven the market atmosphere. When returning home and while enjoying the music, Ayu was seen by the presence of several beggars and buskers who came to the stall, even coming to passers-by there one by one. There was also a beggar who was just sitting quietly near the door of the market direction, who was just waiting for the throngs of the people who passed him.

Time is so fast, it does not feel Ayu is in the market about 2 hours more and slowly began to leave the market while carrying various kinds of groceries for the purposes of his stall and also some snacks. This is common when going to the market. Especially for Ayu, the market is a place that has a variety of colors in it, such as colorful merchandise, colorful stories, and colorful life, because even though it is only a traditional place, it is a traditional place, but the meaning and the story in it is really interesting.

And it's 9 in the morning. Usually Ayu has returned home. But because this morning the rain came back down so hard and suddenly, making Ayu stuck in the market and could not go home.

After an hour of waiting, the rain began to fall. Ayu quickly rushed to the parking lot carrying her groceries to her beloved matic motorbike.

"Thank you Bang." Ayu said while handing over a piece of five thousand money to the parking lot.

Ayu's journey back home a little choked because of the many puddles in the streets. The motor also started to run.

Ayu was about to turn after turning on the cent light of her motorbike towards the right, but suddenly a car drove quite fast and almost hit Ayu. But fortunately Ayu was quickly able to avoid the collision, but she herself had to feel pain due to a fall due to her motorbike.

The car that almost hit him stopped. From a distance the figure of a man running down from inside the car. The man rushed to Ayu who was assisted by the surrounding residents who saw him fall from his motorcycle.

"Be quick to take responsibility, take the mother to the hospital." Said a citizen.

"Yeah, please calm down. I'll take him to the hospital." Said the man.

Ayu then looked at the man, the sight of the two meeting. Instantly both of them were staring, like time was stopping before them.

"Mister's okay, right?" Ask a mother who holds Ayu's hand.

"It's okay Mom, I'm fine." Reply Ayu who suddenly realized in her daydream.

Seriate.....