
...Happy Reading's...
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It was not a hallucination.It turned out that bad things were waiting for me...
Several times my heart beat very fast, the wind that blows softly felt pulled over hard, and,
“what is this? why my hunch is not tasty”.
During school I felt out of focus plus a few figures Anjani who came to me with a cold and empty gaze, like there was something he wanted to say but what, what, not as usual because he always tried to communicate with me?.
My heart kept wondering, until the trip home from school suddenly my bike broke down,
“the gas is full, but why can it die?”
I kept trying to start my bike. Until on the highway I saw a very nice black bird, as soon as the situation around me turned dark, after that a car drove very fast and from the opposite direction appeared a motorcycle, I saw clearly that the motorcycle driver did not see the road clearly, his view was blocked by the horde of birds, he said, until finally there was a collision.
The incident happened right before my eyes, when the motorist of a man wearing a high school uniform whose body was still intact within seconds his body was destroyed.Fresh blood flowed on the asphalt, and, his face was shapeless, his head was smashed, and more importantly I saw his heart still beating and then stopped. his body was drenched in blood, I could not see it, I cried out very loudly, I said, my memory then goes to my older brother who died because of an accident as well, he died 2 years ago when he was 20 years old.
I will not recount the incident here, too horrible for me to recall, my older brother died before my own eyes while in an ambulance on a hospital trip, his condition is too good for me to tell and remember, sorry I am still traumatized to remember him.
Not knowing why I immediately ran to the crushed body, I cried, my hands touched and collected the body of the man.
“entah, I do not know him at all but my feelings are very painful to see the incident and why I have to witness this again, why must they die in front of me, why should I see it again?” .
my head was like being hit hard my vision was like spinning until I was unconscious.
The night when I realized I was home, the blood-soaked school clothes had been replaced by my sister.
But when I realized I was just crying and screaming in fear, I really couldn't control myself.
I continued to be overshadowed by the incident that afternoon. Every night I hear a voice for help, a groan of pain. My mind was always filled with horrible things.
The drops of blood were getting louder and the voices were as if they were calling out to me, the sounds of yelling getting longer the more I heard, but it meant that he was getting closer and even very close.
I was screaming in fear, I was crying but I didn't know what I was thinking because I could laugh and then cry.
It lasted for 2 weeks after the incident. Every night I am haunted by fear that makes me strange, I do not want to eat, do not want to go out of the room and do not want to talk to anyone.
I became quiet and my behavior for 2 weeks was out of my control, and for 2 weeks I did not go to school.
That night, I picked up the old book I found, I opened it at random, but there was something I found.
“that small needle will enter your heart, then beware”
sentences are short but hold such great meaning. Then I looked at my left fingers, and it turned out that my hands were still not strong enough to support myself, to close my eyes when there is something I do not want to see but cannot close my ears when there is something I do not want to hear.
The next morning I woke up and prepared to go to school, not a word I said, but my mother asked me if I was ready to go to school, what a situation I was in was fine but I just kept quiet and left without saying goodbye.
Arriving at school all my friends looked strangely at me, they looked at me fixedly, but I just kept quiet, there was not a word I said that day, unlike before they also changed to me, usually my friends invite me to go out to eat in the school cafeteria.
But that day no, they just kept quiet and didn't talk to me. It was in my head why they were like that, but at that time I did not prioritize my thoughts about it.
When I got home from school, a senior greeted me in the parking lot.
“you're rishi, right? I just nodded
“oh yes, know my name Riko” he reached out, but I just kept quiet and kept preparing to go home. because I did not respond
“Sorry yes if you are disturbed, I mean just want to acquaintance aja” then I just smile a little and then leave.
And at the end of the school parking lot I saw girls in my class hanging out and there seemed to be something they were talking about, but I didn't really care about it.
Arriving home, my mother told me to eat but I was silent, seeing my silent condition like that my mother was crying, I used to be a cheerful person, she said, but seeing my attitude change to be quiet and aloof made my family worried and indeed I felt strange with myself, but it was how I felt, he said, it can't be told to anyone and no one will be able to understand, nor do I know how many tears came out after my father died, how many events beyond logic I experienced, I was also tired of my life, maybe I better not be in the world anymore.
My feelings were completely chaotic, I felt my life was just weighing on my mother and family, she said, I no longer wanted to see my mother cry when I came to my senses after I fainted and it turned out that when I was unconscious, my body was convulsing and was possessed several times, I hate that solitude, I hate myself.
Like before I went to school but without saying a word to my family, and like yesterday he was in the parking lot again, then he came up to me
“res yesterday you were upset with me huh?” then I looked at him, then I shook my head.
“but why don't you talk to me from yesterday?”
then I took a breath
“ rarely talk to people who just know”, then he smiles, and honestly his smile is sweet
“turns out you're funny too yeah person”,
“rescence in class first”,
“iya... studied diligently ya” then I just smiled and went to class.
Arriving in the classroom anjani figure waited for me, then in my heart asked that he not disturb me now, but he said
“I will wait for you at the usual place” and I agree.
Then one of the friends in my class who was from the beginning of my entry was not too close to him, he approached me and asked why I met with Riko.
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