Buying Wife

part#37

Tonight feels hanging. I'm a crow saying goodbye to Auntie and everyone in this house.

I looked around this room. A room full of happy memories with him. Every corner in this room has a lot of meaning and meaning for me.

The atmosphere, the smell, everything was still about him. I don't know what purpose Pak Putra left all his belongings still remain in place. But I have my nails for it, I can still hug the clothes he often wears while sleeping. Medicine when longing struck.

I looked at her work clothes one by one. His watch, tie and shoes. Still as complete as before.

I still often feel its existence because of those items. Not infrequently I still felt she was on the side when I woke up in the morning.

Then tomorrow?

Tomorrow I'm gonna leave all this behind. Leaving behind beautiful memories that were once engraved and that will never return.

The memories will stay here. Attached to every wall of the house. They will be witnesses as a couple living side by side in peace even without loving each other.

They will be silent witnesses who see how well a husband treats a wife who was never in his heart.

"Tomorrow, I'll leave our room, sir. O Allah .. astagfirullah ...."

I fell on the floor. The decision I thought was easy, turned out to be excruciating. Maybe even, I won't be able to forget it until the rest of my life. He who has been attached to the heart of the heart of the heart, will not be replaced by anyone.

*****

I stood with only one suitcase and a bag of books that Mr. Son brought last night.

The workers in this house were lined with tears.

"I'm sorry if so many mistakes. I ...." Honestly, I don't have much to say anymore. I, who used to live without my parents, siblings, and friends, could feel all that while with them.

We are not bound by blood, but I love them very much. Mr. Misran who I have considered like my own father, it feels very hard to part with him. He who is always faithful listens to my sorrow, holds my tears and gives his message like a father to his son.

I, who never got the affection of a mother at all, could feel it from them, Aunt.

They take care of me when I can't do anything. Comforting me when I am sad. Hugging when I need a backrest when my husband is no longer legal for me to hug.

Their laughs are ridiculous and ridiculous. Their innocence, their kindness made me truly meaningful and isolated in the world.

My real mom and dad never did this. They do not want me in this world. Husband, even though he is kind to me, he does not want this self present in his heart.

"Because you already consider Neng like your own child. Dad, when I get sick at night, I often see Mr. Putra calling other women." That's what he always told me.

"Bi, Mahira is sorry, yes. You are my only family in the world. People who think I exist. Thanks for everything. Mahira can give you nothing but prayer, may you always be in the protection of Allah. Your kindness let God repay you."

"Miss ...."

The house is boisterous with the sound of crying from all of us. Hugging and strengthening each other.

They wiped my tears. Rubbing their heads like a child that they would take off went a long way. Yes, I will go far.

"Neng, take care of yourself. Neng must be strong, must be strong, there is no I who can take care and hear Neng's complaint again. I will always pray that Neng will always be happy in the afterlife."

"Sir Misran .. thank you very much. From my father, I can feel what it's like to have a real father. Protect and take care of me all the time. Me ... I ...."

I sat down in front of him. It feels heavy if this steps away leaving the surrogate for me.

He's holding my shoulder. Swiping your head lovingly. His thin hands felt trembling.

"Go, Son. Find the real happiness. Stay away from this house so you can live your life right. You deserve to be happy. Go, son. Go ...."

He stands. His footsteps seemed to be shaking leaving me.

These eyes were closed so strongly, hoping that when these eyes opened, all of this was just a dream. I wish Mr. Son was still my husband, and this separation did not happen.

"Ra, come. We're going."

Until Aldo's voice dawned on me that this was all reality. I hugged Auntie one by one. Stepping off to another place. A place I hope to find happiness and people who can accept me.

I hope this leg is not going wrong. With me out of this house, I can forget everything. All about him. I have to accept the fact that he belongs to someone else.

I am a Muslim woman who should not love a man who has the status of a man's husband. How the Prophet would love me if I did the very thing he hated.

Bishmij ...

Goodbye, sir who I really want to call dear.

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