BIRDS IN CAGES
#Episode 27's
... "The Flyer Just Being a Guest in My Own Home"...
A morning with the echo of takbir sailed signifies victory day. From dawn the women including me were getting ready in the kitchen as they lined up their new steaming ketupat and opor. Various snacks and pastries neatly arranged on the table with a new gold tablecloth replaced.
Allakhuakbar-Allakhuakbar-Allakhuakbar lailaailallah wallahu
Dendang takbir echoed breaking the silence in the morning blind. Everyone is celebrating the victory day. Mutual berkilaturrahmi and shake hands to relatives, especially their own families of course.
Honestly, I miss my house full of problems. I miss my grandmother, my great-grandmother, even my mother. I miss them all. I tried the clothes from Abi-in-law and my own mother in front of the mirror while smiling impatiently to go home.
This was the first time I had completed the month of fasting and Eid at the house of in-laws. Even though I am a little stiff, I still enjoy it. I spread my smile even though I was pretending. Then stepping in every kinsman's house occasionally, in the lyrics I and said I never mate. I smile back even though I want to scream
"Don't want to go out but not allowed" cried me who was just brave in the heart
Everyone rejoices with mutual reprimand that can be said only once a year is done. While taking the snacks provided and the food provided do not forget the spice gibah thrown. There are so many big throws that are heartbreaking like
"Why never play with a bride?"
"When you have a child, it's already hami.."
Even questions like...
"Where was his first night?"
Although only considered a mere joke all feels heartbreaking with all the tragedies that are only stored in the heart
I waited until evening to go home. After the first brother to another brother and there is no sense that I also have a family. I miss my family.
... ****...
The day has changed and it is the second day of Eid while I do not go to my own house. I kept telling him how the tradition in his house and then I also had to follow all the traditions without him wanting to understand a little that I also have that tradition.
Is it wrong if I just want to go home on Eid Day?! all this time I've been in their house then, did not feel tears suddenly fall on the cheeks of my cab, I said, instantly when I would know about the taste in the chest of my mobile phone rang I picked up the phone was heard the voice of a woman knows pay from a distance...
"You're not coming home?" from a distance the voice of Grandma sounded
"Go home but don't know when" I replied in no words
"Grandmother has made your favorite nastar cake, and satay is just as lontong" he explained enthusiastically as if calling me to go home soon
"That's so good I'll ask you again, my dear mak" I replied beginning to shed tears
"You want to talk to yut? here complete lack of you" he explained again
"Where's grandma"? doorstep
"When you go home yut kangen" a heavy voice sounded from a distance
"Yah mbah yut Bella is also very kangen. If not tomorrow the day after tomorrow" I replied trying as calmly as possible
"Waduh the rotten one will come home soon" joked my yut Mbah
"And there is adi, om, who can eat yut mbah let those who eat" again a drop of tears just fell
"Yes already made me cook first go home quickly" he said while handing his phone to my grandmother
"Hallo.." said my grandmother.
" Hello.." I replied.
"If indeed your husband does not want to go home tell him to take you, you also have a family" said my grandmother very slowly impressed whispering
Honestly, my annoyance began to peak where, I tried to ask repeatedly but he (my husband) did not respond to anything. He kept telling me about his extended family about how we should put the big kiyai first and the like.
So what about my family? because we are just ordinary citizens we do not deserve respect.Sore that I approached my husband then whispered a little spoiled
"Darling..." panjaku slowly.
"What?" his answer was indifferent while pulling his steps
"I don't want to lean?" pull me up again
"Don't I have udu' What's up? no need for you to be spoiled like this I'm disgusted to see you like this" he jolted
Suddenly I fell silent for a moment and pulled my arm
"When can we go home?" ask me with a flat face
I sighed and held back the tears falling from both balls of my eyes
"But not only do you have a family"
"Now the head of your family is me. I have a right to decide. We'll go to the house with a change of clothes"
While holding back my tears I held on with my nearly exploding anger. It's a big day and he's the same thing as before. Didn't he promise not to treat me like a slave then why do I feel I remain a slave or worse I'm just a doll.
... ***...
The trip to the house of the ummi husband (worship) is a little twisted or bumpy. The road uphill then twirled showing off the line of god's power. At that time I sat in front of looking at the handsome teak tree that began to be bald without green leaves. While staring at the nanar I sat there was a joke. Suddenly a cry sounded
"Bell when are you going home?" the auntie in the back seemed to be aware of my feelings
"Lack of knowing is up to you brother" I replied briefly
"Tomorrow once ummi follow" said the embah called ummi
"Bella is spoiled" I replied briefly
"Well, tomorrow will just finish the nuclear family here" replied my husband continued his hotbah that does not fit the conversation
On the way I did not dare to say anything, I was afraid to cry or go home tampa farewell like that.
On this day of victory I felt defeated, as if I demanded a happy ending to the story making.
When is my happy ending? When's? and again only in the heart
... ...
...***...
On the third day I began to get ready to go home from morning. With a cheerful face I approached her and asked her this question but there was no answer because she was still busy with her pillow and bolsters faintly heard her say "Later on "
Day came and we only received guests from all over his brother. I who initially tried hard and smiled happily now, my smile faded because I pretended as easy as I thought.
In the afternoon, we went to my family's place. Although a little upset but I still struggle so that anger does not control me who is not okay.
The borrowed white car drove loudly through traffic that was scrambling to go home soon. right wrong parking near the tree in front of my house I saw the figure of a middle-aged woman came out a little jostled then smiled with eyes so pusar as if to cry whether it was a happy attitude or even he was injured, but he smiled and set it up
"Wah come in please thank God finally come home" greeted my grandmother
"Yes san (called besan) is only now the problem in a quiet house" replied Ummi
"Well, neither is Bella here deserted. Even we already prepared his favorite nastar cake and also like satay he likes both foods" answered nenenkku
"Oh yes sorry yes just now" replied Ummi chimed in
"Oh yes go in first yuk monggo sorry if not as good as there" said my grandmother who I feel a little insinuating
It was as if there was a cold war between them with a sudden smile but, I did not care then, I slightly ran to find my yut Embah who was in the kitchen.
When I saw her I hugged her and then kissed her and apologized as hard as I could see the same tears as my grandmother when she opened the door as she looked from a frown on her face a little tear.
"Finally home too" my great-grandmother immediately hugged and kissed me
"Bella's very awkward" said I kissed her hand
"If you don't go home" he said
"Well, how not to be with my husband" I replied accordingly
"Come home kayak guests only anyway doc.dok"
Said my great-grandfather that made me not cry. Not until 2 hours they sit as if guests who only appreciate the dishes of the host, after that, they leave while, my miss is not over. True said my great-grandfather I was like a guest in my own house
"You're going back?" ask my grandmother in surprise
"I was told to go home, what can I do? I don't want to fight anymore" my eyes started to turn red
"The salim used to go to the chest and to your family" saw a puddle of tears in his little eyeballs
I was just a guest in my own house. I have no right to my life. Is this the marriage that says the end of happiness? Is there an ending to my life?
