BIRDS IN CAGES
#Episode 15's
..."False Smile: They should be Happy"...
The house feels very crowded with neighbors peeling onions. Three more days of my engagement day with Ayman were all lively preparing. I stayed in the room smiling happily, just a trick.
The fake smile I carved quietly showed I was fine and ready to carry out. Abah's death continued me gave me no choice. I still have to be patient and sincere in accepting what is outlined.
"Lord, I consider this a gift from you, so from that, once I want to be happy"
I muttered in an uneasy heart, everyone, feeling worried but having to stay calm, it's okay everything will be fine. My fear of all that is happening is growing more and more panic, which is very deep in continuing to fight against all that is feared.
It hurts when everyone is happy and I try to hide from anxiety. Again, I'm just a bird in a cage that has no right to fly.
"That would-be you handsome very grateful for you" said the neighbor
"Where kiyai's son, you don't want to be the same rich man"
"That's an angelic talk"
The compliments were lightly all glorified and said I should be much grateful to get it. Sometimes they just look from the outside but it's okay, I will make their prayers of good speech, hopefully, everything they hope is really granted by the almighty.
...***...
#Infiance Day
The green dress with beads of night star tubs falling beautifully on my body made me smile gently at all the guests.
I have decided! there can be no regrets!
Steady in my heart by constantly praising the name of God. I kept trying to calm down even though my heart was burning. All is clear that the affection that Ayman showed was only sweet at the beginning.
I MUST BE HAPPY!
I keep throwing my doubts even though sometimes tears flow on the cue. I looked around me with the neighbors who were busy helping there were many people were eager to carry out the engagement even occasionally Ayman kept calling asking a few things.
I need to stay calm. I take a deep breath hoping that all that happens is kindness and regret only in wishful thinking.
Mentari kept on highlighting my house, like a stage light with a performance that afternoon. The drummers and entourage from Ayman's side arrived at my house.
The enthusiasm of the neighbors saw many clerical figures continue to stop in my hut. Ask for approval with a pinned ring and tie the family leash.
The sense of pleasure together comes with fear, anxiety, and very frightening tears. I tried to calm down by pretending to talk to my new friends. Want to inform you that I am happy not being sad irregular.
The rose-shaped ring wrapped around my little finger bound me in a story of engagement that knew no end of certainty.
"Right now you belong to me" Smiled from Ayman's face
Sholawat kicked with his home the scholars left my little hut. The neighbors crowded around wanting to see the cleric of their love.
It was like a dream where my little house was visited by great scholars who even to meet it maybe I could not afford.
A little flattered is this when we become one of them but other minds say is this really the right choice?
I don't know what all this is just in our minds we never know what the future will be like.
I hope my decision doesn't bring regrets in the future. Amens.....
