Become your Inspiration
Emotions Raven
I tried to calm myself down on the balcony. But I guess, the exposure to this cold wind was not enough to calm the disturbing feelings I felt.
Am I angry?
I think so, my heart feels very unsettled. What yes? I felt annoyed, but I became even more annoyed because of the reason.
It's so confusing, I feel like I'm feeling all the emotions of anger, sadness, anxiety. It feels like old times...
Maybe I'm back to what I used to be? People are annoying, can not resist emotions, people who are always shunned. Am I back to being that kind of person?
As I was immersed in my thoughts, I heard the sound of the door opening and the sound of footsteps approaching, I turned around to see the origin of the sound.
"Hey Raven, where are the others? do they have class?" ray said casually walking towards me.
My blood pressure was boiling, my head was heavy, it felt like it was about to break. I was so upset, all the emotions I was holding on to, it felt like it was going to explode.
"uh? Raven, you're so sweaty, are you okay?" ray said right in front of me, his hand moving towards me, I immediately brushed it off.
"Eh? Why are you like that? Are you having a fever?" ray asked in surprise. He touched my forehead to check my temperature, and I immediately pushed him until he fell backwards.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" ray shouted annoyed and then got up. I got closer to him, I lifted his collar.
"Suck, do you know what you're doing right now?" ray was upset. I clutched his collar tightly.
"Raven, are you upset? Ha, I was wondering, why do you hit people so often? do you just want to act like a thug?"
Ray pushed me and broke away from the clutches of my hands. He pulled me back and hit me right in the heart. I pulled his hand and lifted it to my back and threw it on the floor.
He locked my right ankle with both feet and pushed back until I lost my balance and fell. He immediately got up on my body and hit me in the face.
I reversed our position, and before I hit him..
"RAVEN, STOP!!" said someone who ran towards us and separated the two of us, then helped Ray to stand up. That's Lion.
"Why are you fighting?" ask Lion.
"uh? what the hell's going on? Hey, why are you two hurt?" asked Hanz who had just come and ran towards the two of us.
"Are you guys fighting?" ask Hanz again. I left there leaving the three of them.
"Eh, wait for Raven!!"
"Lion, I'll try to calm him down first, you take Ray to UKK (Campus Health Unit)"
"Good"
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It has been half an hour since I entered this room, the room I should have used to practice. I lay on the sofa facing the wall, I heard the door open. Without even looking I know, it's Hanz.
Hanz closed the door slowly, looking at this chaotic room. Chairs were lying and not neatly arranged, paper stair tones were scattered on the floor, and some small figures that should be on the table but even on the floor.
Hanz sighed, taking the chair lying down he placed the chair near me.
"Are you okay?" hanz opened the conversation. I got up and sat facing him.
"What do you think?" I said lowering the hand that I had put over my head to cover my face which now looked chaotic. He widened his eyes and seconds later laughed.
"What the fuck, you look so fucked up"
"Damn it, throw the tissue box" Hanz threw the tissue box on the table at me. This is why I don't want to show my face, this reaction is so incredibly annoying. I wiped my cheeks wet with tears and sweat.
"Drink this" said Hanz throwing a bottle of drink. I drank.
The momentary silent atmosphere.
"Hey, am I a bad friend?"
"Huh?"
"Do you think I'm a bad friend?"
"I can't hold back my anger, and I always take it out on you. I just hit Ray out of jealousy, so shameful"
"If you're asking about holding back your anger, I think you're having a hard time controlling your emotions, and sometimes hurting those closest to you. But that doesn't mean you're a bad friend, you just need help, and I'm here to help you"
"First, let me hear why you're mad at Ray" Hanz continued. I told Hanz.
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"CRAZY, THAT ASSHOLE WHY COME TO LILY? THOUGH HE KNEW YOU LIKED LILY" Damn, he was too noisy.
"Wait, can they be friends?" ask Ray.
"Hmm yeah, Lily said they were friends from High School" I replied.
"Oh, but why didn't Ray tell us?" ask Hanz again.
"Come" I said lazily.
Drrrrt drrrrt
"uh? what is an alarm? you have class?" I asked Raven to check her phone.
"Yahhh I think so, but it doesn't matter. I'm a good friend, I'm willing to skip class to accompany my friend" Ray said. Not long after, Ray jumped out of his chair.
"Sorry Raven, I have to go!!!!" hanz panicked.
"Where is a friend who is willing to skip to accompany me?"
"I know, I know! but this is Mr. John's subject, I don't want to get in trouble" Hanz said, running out of the room. Substantial.
But I think I'm very lucky to have friends like Hanz, Lion and...Ray's. I think I should apologize to Ray later. Ugh I'm tired, let me sleep for a while.
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It was late afternoon, I walked towards the theater hall as usual. I walked into the building, and they were rehearsing the show, just after seeing them, I just remembered that Lily was still sick and not here.
But I'm already here, so I don't think it's a problem to see their training. I sat in this chair that was like mine, watching their show, although it felt a little different because the main character was not Lily, but Lia.
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I watched the show while playing mobile, as soon as I looked back at the show, they were done training. I got out of my seat, intending to get out of the building and go home.
"Raven" the call made me stop. That's Lia.
"Haha, you may not know, Lily did not enter today because of illness, so I took her place" said Lia.
"I know" I said.
"Oh, is that so, by the way what do you think my acting was?" ask Lia.
"So that was cool" I said. I'm not lying, it was cool, yahhh even though I was just watching the beginning.
"Haha, great. You're going home, right? then go, sorry to hold you" said Lia.
"Yes, no problem, see you" I said.
"Bye bye"
I got out of the theater department building, and walked down the corridor.
