ARGUS

The Chapter 70

The more I dodge, the stronger the feeling binds me. Honestly, I realize right now that I love her. Monik was my first love and.. The cella? Is it wrong to fall in love a second time?

Maybe it's all karma. For a long time, I always ignored the girl's feelings. In the end, I was trapped in this game. L loved her. I realized that right now God might be punishing me. I deserve it.

The sound of the cries of my two daughters scattered all my daydreams. I walked towards the baby box where Syila and Qilla were.

"What's up, baby? Why are you crying?" ask me to turn my daughters cheeks. Instead of being silent, they cry more and more. I'm getting confused.

"It's papa darling, cup cup cup cup... Don't cry, will you?" I carry both. They're a little quiet.

"You're thirsty?" I put both of them on the bed. I kissed them on their knees in turn.

"Wait a minute baby, papa make you milk first." I said, but my finger was held tightly by Syila.

"Hey, what's up, honey? Not willing to go, papa? Just for a moment, baby, you know you're thirsty." I said to poke his nose with anxiety.

But I was so shocked when Syila came back crying. Qilla was definitely crying too.

"Arzu, why are they crying?" I looked towards the door. It turns out that mom, she was carrying two bottles of milk.

"It looks like they're thirsty Ma" I said stroking my daughters' chests. Cella always says if they are very happy when their chest is softly stroked. Hah, I remembered it again. Today is the day of his departure. I'll learn to cut him off. It may be true, if that love doesn't have to have. He suffered enough because of me. I'll be happy if he's happy.

"Dear granddaughter, thirsty huh?This is honey, grandma made you milk." said mom. I took a bottle of milk and gave it to Syila. Mama manyuapi Qilla.

"It seems they are very thirsty. Look, so voracious." added mama. I smiled and nodded. I looked at my two daughters. Almost all of them inherited the Monik face. I was so happy to see my wife's face in them. I feel like he is back. Through the little angel who is my source of strength.

"Huge fast dear." I said, peeping Syila and Qilla's hands alternately.

"Arzu, that's aunt Juju called mama. They've already got there. They also told us that we could attend Cella's wedding."

I looked at my mother. I took a deep breath.

"Maybe your mom and dad are there. Arzu will keep them here." I said looking back at my two daughters.

"No Arzu, you must also be present. After all, Cella is your co-worker. Let mama take care of them. Go." said mama stroking my head.

"Arzu will mind ma." I said. Mama nodded.

Do I have to watch everything? What else is this, does God really want to punish me? Huh, I don't want to go there.

"Ma, Arzu's in the room for a second. Titip them." I said kiss mama's forehead. Then I headed straight to my room.

"Monik, you said he was my true love. Maybe that's true, because now I realize. I love you love her too. I was confused by my own feelings. Don't be mad at me Monik. This isn't all my wish."

I looked at my wife's picture. She smiled so sweetly. Her radiant face warms my heart. Maybe I miss him a lot.

"Ck, you're always smiling. You smile when I am sad. You're so evil Monik."

"She's getting married, this weekend. What am I supposed to do? I cannot destroy her happiness. Maybe he's not my soul mate. I hope you don't force me anymore. He was happy with his choice. I'm happy too."

I pull my lips as much as I can. Because it's so hard. But I have to do it. Am I not happy enough? I still have two little angels who will accompany my life.

I put the photo back in its original place. But accidentally my hand grabbed an object. Until that thing fell.

I stared at that thing carefully. Yeah, that's the book that Cella gave me a few days ago. But what is it?

I took the thing and opened the last page. I frowned in confusion when I saw that Cella's handwriting was quite long.

I sat on the bed, I was curious about the contents.

Hy Arzu's. Sorry to bother you. Maybe this is the last time I say, I love you so much. I miss you, every moment. Excuse me. Maybe this is the point of my patience Arzu. This love will never fade. But my wait is getting fractured. I can no longer afford to keep it all alone. I surrendered Arzu. I surrendered. Thank you for teaching me what true love is. You are my first love. Like people say, it might be hard to forget you. But I'll try to forget you. Hahaha.it sounds silly, but I'll try. So don't worry, there won't be any more girls bothering you. He's gone, gone to the end of the world.

Arzu, I always wish you could be happy forever. Seeing you happy, I am also very happy. Honestly, it was sick at first. But over time I realized. Love does not have to be.

Sorry Arzu. I admit, I gave up. But... I still give you a chance. Ask your heart. Is there no Arzu at all? If any. Please fight for me Arzu. Because I won't repeat to ask. I'm already tired. I want to follow the path of destiny that has been set for me.

Please take good care of the twins. I may never return to Indonesia. I'll stay with my husband here. I will miss them very much. I still love you Arzu. Ilove you.

I love you Arzu

I close this book with a raging feeling. Whatdoes thatmean? Will he accept me if I fight for him? Is he really going to accept me? And what about the wedding?

"Pursue him Arzu, before it's too late" said a man who managed to surprise me. I immediately saw the source of the voice, it turned out to be Brother Elya.

"Sister, that's impossible" I said staring at him. Brother Elya smiled and walked over to me.

"Nothing is impossible Arzu. Oh yes, someone wants to talk to you." said brother Elya I looked at him confused. Then someone appeared at the door. I was so surprised, why is he here? What was the purpose of coming here?

***

"One week before the Monik leaves. He came to me once. He told me to make sure you were happy. He also said something important." he said. He is Rangga. Little friend Monik.

"Say what?" many confused. What the Monik really says. Why didn't he tell me anything.

"It's been a long time since Monik found out that doctor Cella, or her former employer, loved you. Which is exactly a few weeks after your wedding. But Monik doesn't respond to any of that, he thinks doctor Cella will forget you because you're married. But it's all wrong. Monik is aware of Cella's every look on you. She realized that she still loved her husband.

Monik wants to tell you this, only he doesn't have the courage. Because he knows, you never want to talk about other people when you're together. So the point is, Monik asked me to unite you with Doctor Cella.

You know, the Monik blood donor was Cella. Cella knew her blood type was the same as Monik. Because when I was a kid. He also donated blood for Monik. Monik had an accident. He purposely hid everything. He doesn't want you to think of himself as just looking for attention. He only intends to help the healing Monik. But God says otherwise, Monik is gone for good. And at that time, you also had time to blame him, right? He's so sincere to you Arzu. I was so surprised to find out everything."

Obviously at length. I'm still trying to digest Rangga's words.

"How do you know everything?" I just stared at him.

"I know Monik from childhood. For Cella's problem, ever since Monik told me everything. I started to find out about him. He really loves you Arzu. What's more, all his words when at Monik's funeral. He was so devastated by your attitude towards him. You blamed the death of the Monik on him."

I was so surprised. I recall the time that Elsha and I left Cella alone. It's true, I've blamed everything that happened to her. But it wasn't long, I regained consciousness. All of this is destiny.

Akhh... Why is it like this? When I want to let go. Why is everything just revealed. Maybe it's time for me to fight. Struggling to get himself back. I'll fight for it. I'll pick her up home. Wait for me, Cella. Wait me. I'm gonna fix everything.