Are You My Match?

CHAPTER LXXVI

I haven't answered the message from dawn yet because I want to calm down and really if I go back I'm ready with Everything.

"we will leave the day after Ancol? Icha broke my daydream.

"yes be it, if not so there are children who can protest."so I.

"okay if so for food let Icha who shop."icha said

"yes, set it up and who wants to come with anyone? ask me.

"yes, it's a team hooray" answered Icha

"yes." I went back to checking all my work

after I finished my work, I sent an email.

I also communicate with Meti and Rita for client issues.

sometimes Meti asks me to also follow up clients from home.

this holiday really makes my brain calm and a sense of kangen that has been treated.

"Lo's still a long time at home nyokap Lo na?rita asked from her short message.

"like her and I'm comfortable here" I replied

"relax yourself Lo na!! as quiet as possible." - Rita

"banget and I are happy right now and don't need to think the heart of a person who never thinks about my feelings" I explained

"na, what can we women do? but if we continue the same problem we are also confused where the fault is!!said Rita

"that's him I'm confused and I also feel there's no price in his eyes" I replied

and the conversation through a short message I ended because my son invited me to buy ice cream.

I fulfilled everything the kids asked for because switching the time for them for two years was almost no communication.

there's a fear I see on my mamih's face, maybe fear of another divorce.

but I feel no longer afraid because of tired of the bathin that I feel when always blamed.

every noisier always comes out harsh words even harsh treatment.

evict me even saying inappropriate words.

I recorded everything in my brain even snapped and the curse in public places was still recorded well in my brain memory.

"what is my self-esteem in the eyes of my husband? wept

unlike the beginning we just met even he convinced himself this so that I believe in him.

but after coming home and staying at the new father-in-law's house I knew his true habits.

kowtowing at his feet I did and I did it because I wanted everything to be okay.

the difference is very far, used to always hold my hand and bring things if I was troubled.

but now don't hold our hands, walk away from each other, make distance.

sometimes he used to humiliate me in public, there was pain in my heart.

is it because I'm old and he's ashamed to have a wife older than him.

I've asked her to split up but she's begging me to come back home.

now I'm starting to feel right again like it's even starting to feel like my wiggle room is being restricted again.

harsh words also began to be shown again, what to live with a man who was so hard-hearted.

wanted to complain but I was embarrassed because this was my own choice even my mother had reminded me at that time.

rough that I feel and makes me reluctant to go home to see him again.

I started looking for a place to live for myself again.

"what's still at home and don't want to go home? I'm still waiting for you until you really want to go home."i.

"are you still angry and don't want to forgive me, baby?

"answer my message if you want to go home I'll pick you up and I'm still very dear to you."

all the messages I just read without wanting to answer them.

here - yesterday those words always made me melt but somehow now I'm sick of reading them.

it's dead and it's starting to find answers and I don't want to cry anymore.

"what is the end of my wedding journey again and again."

"maybe fate wants me to live alone and there are only my children."

when days left dawn without me answering her messages and phone calls, I felt like my life was free with no fear or anything.

even I felt calmer without any fear of doing anything.

because everything I do in the eyes of dawn must be wrong and never good.

I hope my decision is right and I can live better.

what I fought for even I was always proud of in front of the crowd was just a plea.

For dawn to always be the best but now I want to live as it is and only the children I will fight for now.

...*ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...

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TAMIN*