Amara Wants to Have a Mom

11. Not Want to Lose

"Tok Tok Tok..."

The sound of knocking on the door from outside, Alvian who heard it quickly got up from the chair and walked up to the door and opened it. He frowned as he caught the arrival of the restaurant cashier who was already standing in the doorway.

"Excuse me sir, this is a deposit for you." the cashier thrust the folded paper very neatly towards Alvian.

"What's this?" alvian asked curiously while taking over the paper.

"Sorry sir, I don't know what it is. Miss who came with Amara left this to me. Then excuse me." said the cashier, then turned around and left Alvian still standing where he stood.

Alvian opened the fold of the paper slowly while closing the door and returned to his chair. He leaned back on the back of the chair and began to carry the ink scratches that Anika had written for him.

"I'm sorry to leave without saying goodbye to you and Amara. I know this is wrong, but I have no other choice. I love Amara, I think of her as my own daughter. It's just that her request is too much for me, I can't possibly marry you. Among us there is nothing to do but an employer and a nanny."

"Many of the wounds I have suffered over the years, I do not want my fate to end like a mother who had to die for the betrayal of my father. Being married without love made my mother suffer a lot, I did not want to marry without love, I was traumatized to witness the suffering experienced by my mother."

"Once again please forgive me, I didn't mean to leave Amara in this state. It's actually hard for me, I don't want to part with him either. The presence of Amara is able to be an antidote to the wounds I have suffered so far, she is like a little angel who gives me the spirit to survive in this solitude."

"However, there's still a lot of work to be done out there. I hope you can find the right woman to be a connecting mother to Amara. Father of good men and Amara is also a very sweet girl, there will be good women who are ready to replace my position."

"Oh yeah, I'm also sorry for that kiss that night. I really had to do it, but to be honest, I love your lips. It was so sweet, probably because it was my first experience. I don't know, I think I'm going crazy every time I think about it. Take good care of you and Amara, hopefully one day we can meet again in different circumstances. Greetings, Anika."

After reading all the contents written on the paper, Alvian's eyes suddenly fogged up like a black cloud that would immediately drop raindrops. He felt unwilling to let go of the installment girl, Anika's presence was able to foster a new spirit in his life.

Anika is not only able to take Amara's heart and pour a mother's affection on her daughter, but Anika is also able to raise a smile that has long disappeared from Alvian's life.

I don't know, Alvian himself doesn't know how he feels and what he feels for Anika. All he knew was that he felt comfortable being by the girl's side.

Alvian also could not blame Anika for her departure, Alvian understood how the girl felt. It's not easy being Anika who has to get caught up in Amara's obsessive desire to have a mother.

Alvian only needs to find a way to convince Amara when she realizes that Anika is no longer with them.

With a clouded look holding the puddle of water that filled his eyes, Alvian squeezed the paper and threw it into a trash can. She does not want Amara to know the reason for Anika's departure that could have broken her daughter's heart.

At about three in the afternoon, Amara woke up from her sleep and reflexively called the mother who now knows where the limp is. Alvian who heard it quickly stood up from his seat and walked over to the bed.

"Mara is awake? Come here, carry Papa first!" alvian said as he bent his legs on the side of the bed.

"No, Amara wants to be with Mama." said the boy cut his lips, he did not want to be with Alvian and just wanted to be with Anika.

Instantly, Alvian's countenance turned softly with reddened eyes holding back the sense of the unknown. What would happen if Amara found out that Anika had left them? It was really hard for Alvian, he seemed to be stuck in the middle of the desert without knowing where he was going.

Alvian rubbed his rough face and inhaled as much air as possible. "Mama's not here, Mama's gone" Alvian said.

However she had to tell Amara the truth, she did not want to lie which would invite lies again and again. The more lying, the more painful it would be for her daughter.

"False father, Mama can't go." said Amara, staring intently at Alvian, angry at the papa's confession.

"No dear, Papa didn't lie. Mama can no longer stay with us, Mama has a lot of business out there." explained Alvian justifies his speech, this time his voice sounded vibrating because he could not look at the face of his daughter who was overwhelmed by deep disappointment. He lifted Amara's body and hugged her tightly.

"Huu... Bad Papa, why did Papa let Mama go? Amara wants to be with Mama, Pa. Amara does not want Mama to go, hiks.." The boy's cry broke with the departure of Anika who did not know where. Alvian tried to calm down while rubbing the head of Amara.

"Mara, listen to Papa, son! Amara must be sincere, Mama is not ours. Mama has a life of her own, we have no right to hold Mama here." Alvian persuaded with a voice choked in her throat, her body suddenly suffocated in the face of this difficult situation.

Alvian lost his mind looking for words that Amara could easily understand. He knew a child of Amara's age could not digest his words easily. It took patience to give the daughter some understanding.

"Pa, we're looking for Mama. Amara doesn't want to lose Mama, we have to find Mama and bring her home. Go, Pa!" take Amara while away from Alvian's arms and jump down from the bed, then pull Alvian's hand as hard as possible.

"But baby"

"Come, Pa! We need to find Mama as soon as possible" cut Amara who can't wait to meet Anika.

Seeing such great hope in Amara, Alvian was forced to nod according to his daughter's will. At least Alvian has tried, met or not only God knows the answer.