About You: Love & Sacrifice

About Happiness

Four months later...

Younha held the hand of Yeonjun holding a bouquet of flowers, while continuing down the short grass and looking one by one at a neatly embedded headstone. Several times the boy asked what death was about? Will they gather in heaven and be together in the next life? Younha answered cautiously and made sense in the little boy's mind.

Several times too the boy asked Woojin who was holding Seojun beside Younha. But Yeonjun's kind of question is a bit awkward and frustrating Woojin—what kind of a dead man would rise up on his own from his grave and become a zombie? Or will his spirit be an angel like the one in the fairy tale?

Yeonjun did love such things, but seeing how the five-year-old raised such strange questions was quite terrifying.

Younha's left foot step became a cover when his narrowing captured the existence of the back of a man who was now beside the grave of the father— who was clean with a bouquet of Lily flowers on it. Without even turning her head, Younha knew who the man was.

The grip of his hand tightened in Yeonjun's hand, he even slightly retreated to make Woojin realize what Younha was seeing.

"Dad...?" Yeonjun made a soft voice, his eyes narrowed to make sure. "That's Dad, isn't it, Mama?"

Younha looked at her two children in turn. How the excited look begged to immediately hug the father after almost five months of not meeting especially when Yeonjun pulled the pull of his shirt with a pleading ping pong, ask permission to be able to hit the man who has now been staring at them from beside the tomb.

Suddenly Younha was confused again, her feelings mixed.

"Can't ya, Mama?" Yeonjun scowled, his shoulders slumped. "Are we going home?"

"Younha-y." Woojin pats Younha's shoulder and gives a nod. "He's a father of children. It's free for you to take care of them if they meet in the end as well. It's okay, Younha-ya."

Younha looked doubtful. He wants to be selfish, but the fact that Jihoon's blood is flowing in Seojun and Yeonjun's body remains undeniable. With a heavy heart, Younha let go of Yeonjun's hand.

"Go, meet Dad."

The boy ran while stretching out his arms and instantly got a tighter hug reply from Jihoon. How relieved Jihoon's heart could see his children back even now given the opportunity to cuddle—more to make him closer to his eldest son.

"Yeonjunnya Father." Jihoon's whisper slightly endured the tightness. "How's it going, okay?"

"Good!" Yeonjun answered cheerfully. "Adek Seojun can run! Yesterday the big brother ran the same race."

"Dad misses you too much sister." Jihoon stroked his son's hair.

"So, I miss you too much." The boy rubbed against Jihoon's neck. "Oh, is Dad sick? Why is Dad's body hot?"

"Dad's okay." Jihoon smiled knot. "It feels like I miss you guys so much. I thought I wouldn't see my sister's smile again."

Younha and Woojin arrive in front of the two. Jihoon immediately got up and looked at Younha who looked down and threw a glance at him then glanced at Seojun who was in Woojin's arms. I want it to feel like Jihoon hugged his anxious baby, but seeing Younha moody—he does not want to make Younha's tightness increase.

"Sister, come with Woojin!" The man accidentally takes Yeonjun and Seojun away and lets Younha talk to Jihoon.

Jihoon followed the direction where his son went with Yeonjun's hand waving at him. Then took a look to see Younha's face from the side of— which looked dim while wiping the tomb of the Father.

"Why did you come here?" Younha said without looking.

"Send a do'a to Dad."

"Dad? He's not your father, so you don't have to come to his grave anymore." Younha said ketus. "Dad would also not want to be visited by someone like you, do not make it difficult for my father in other realms."

"Can't we talk all right?" Jihoon looked frustrated.

"What do you want to talk about?" Younha grunted gnashedly. "Don't make yourself miserable in this way, happy Lee Jihoon."

"Right, maybe all this time I wasn't happy until you said that I should be happy."

Younha gave a small glance, presumably starting to accept what her ex-husband wanted to say.

"Jihoon, you're talking weird." Younha.

"Not everyone has an easy life even if they have tried. Sometimes the world doesn't allow happiness." Lirih Jihoon stared straight at the tomb in front of him, feeling the wind gusts along with the talk that flowed from within him.

"Life is not like mathematics, there are no answers and how to calculate the most correct. We're just given a problem and then the solution is up to us."

"My happiness." Jihoon continued, a sliced smile was seen from his pale lips. "I don't know how to solve it."

Younha completely turned her head and looked at her ex-husband's face. The look of hatred just a moment ago slowly turned into pity.

"You're wrong."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

Jihoon sniffed slowly. "You just blamed me but didn't give me the right answer?"

"You're done with that happiness, it's just that you don't feel it." Younha. "Before making people around you happy, look for your happiness first. Selfishness is not always bad. Your selfishness with Hyejin is your happiness. Maybe you're too happy with her to forget to make her happy with the people around you."

Younha was silent for a moment.

"You're happy, Jihoon."

Jihoon gave a small nod but his forehead continued to wrinkle, Younha's words were always absolute and made him lose to everything the man had done. "Over these four months, I couldn't sleep well because I kept thinking about something I hoped I could start over. I'm waiting for a chance." Jihoon said as his heart guided him, with a heartbreaking low intonation.

"I'm not curious."

"Yourself."

"Stop boasting Jihoon!" Younha growled with low intonation.

"I'm waiting for Younha-ya—'s chance"

"I'm pregnant."

Jihoon's eyelashes moved slowly with slightly widened pupils. The smile that was engraved thinly on his face slowly faded away in the funeral wind.

"You know if the second chance is just bullshit to feel disappointed again? People may regret it, but they won't get the same opportunity they used to." Younha continued. "You're doing the same thing now. Wasting the person who is by your side. Do you want to regret it twice? Don't be like that. Treat Hyejin well—" Younha slightly glanced at Jihoon. "—that you've never done to anyone before."

"What.... Woojin's son?" Jihoon said with a blank look.

Younha squeezed the end of her clothes. "Yes." Yeah."

"You've gotten that far?"

"Yes." Yeah." Younha's voice choked. "So, don't talk nonsense and be useless anymore. You're happy with Hyejin and I'll catch up with you. Isn't this a good thing?"

Their irises are linked, emotionless, without question, and without doubt. Just exchanging looks in the dark.

"Happy Younha-ya, you should be happy with Woojin."

The man left without a word again, leaving Younha who was now slumped beside the tomb while crying—barely believing that they were really letting go of each other.

...*****...