About You: Love & Sacrifice

The Little Thing About Your Feelings

"Attent."

Younha's fingers stopped immediately upon hearing her apartment bell ring. He immediately saved his work file did not forget to put down the minus glasses that he had been wearing since. Time showed at nine in the morning, and he did not expect to be able to get guests without an appointment. He stepped quickly—after the door opened unexpectedly Younha sat face-to-face with Jinan's bead and was slightly stunned.

"Jinan?"

"Good morning, busy huh?" Greet Jinan in spirit, handing out a bouquet of white tulips and a box of rice cakes. "Well, you look tired. Am I interrupting?"

"Yes, very disturbing." Younha replied jokingly, slightly styling her random hair. "W-I can take this?"

"of course. Why would I bring this beautiful flower if I wouldn't give it to you."

"Just—" Younha poked her lips hesitantly to say. "Isn't this an exaggeration. I get carried away easily, so don't remind me of that time."

"Do you still remember?" Ask Jinan. "I'm very happy and grateful if it's true. But I'm sure, you understand and so do I. We've got each other's lives, so it doesn't matter, does it?"

Younha nodded brokenly. "Come in. I forgot that my guest needs to sit down too." He opened the door of his unit wide, letting the man through.

Younha closed the door, but she realized as Jinan was silent staring at the blue combination white sneakers on her shoe rack with a smile then glanced at Younha as if clarifying something.

"Jihoon doesn't know if it's from you." explains Younha from the kitchen counter, opening a rice cake parcel from Jinan wrapped in traditional Korean snacks. "At the same time it is beautiful and aesthetic if it is used as a display. There was no proper activity for me to wear it, so I just kept it as a decoration. What say?"

"Yes, I'm a little sad." Jinan laughed a little. "But it is better than hidden and not considered. Btw, the rice cake was made by Mirae. Thanks for receiving him as a surgeon at the hospital. Hansung University."

"Seriously?!" Younha said in disbelief, giving Jinan warm tea in the dining room. "Can he handle that? Oh, I mean will Mirae not be traumatized again? He's always shaking at the sight of a scalpel."

"Mirae learned a lot. He always fought his fear even though it made him sick and happy together. She's a very strong woman, no doubt why she would have slashed her neck that time."

Jinan told a long story about Mirae, from kindness, attention, to the love of the wife and unconsciously made Younha cry in silence. Mirae is very lucky to get Jinan because Younha has known for a long time the attitude of her former lover, Jinan is very gentle and can love someone without reply. Can understand a little affections like "Are you tired?" even if it doesn't matter. Concern that exceeds himself, that Jinan always cares for others and he does not care too much about his own body and feelings.

That's what Younha always felt when he was with Jinan. But Younha does not regret not being with Jinan because he also has the same affection "I am happy if you are happy."

"Thank you, Jinan." Tukas Younha suddenly and it makes Jinan frown worry because of Younha's eyes implied sadness. "Thank you for being happy."

"Younha—"

"Didn't I say if you're happy then I'm happy too?" Younha smiled. "And you're happy if I'm happy. I think we're even, right?"

"Are you happy?" Jinan asked back, now accompanied by a small cry. "I don't think you're happy so how can you say happy?"

Younha flickered to hold back the water in her already full-fledged eyes. Didn't expect Jinan to say something like this. Younha tries to hide her feelings and is it now beginning to unfold?

"Mirae's in the hospital, right?" younha rose up. "Can we visit? I want to see Mirae wear her proud doctor's suit. We go there, yeah, I'll get changed."

Younha ran small towards her room, leaving Jinan who was wasting a deep breath with mixed thoughts.

...*****...

"What if we get married this year?"

Hyejin's sudden question almost made Jihoon step on the brakes all of a sudden because for the first time, Hyejin said something serious. Jihoon immediately controlled his panicked face with a faint smile and glanced at the lover who was holding Seojun by his side.

"Marriage is not something that is easy to say and lived smoothly." Jihoon said softly in the middle of driving. Leaning her shoulders relaxed and choosing the right words so that Hyejin did not misunderstand. "Married it takes mental and physical preparation dear, so can't be sudden."

"Seriously, don't we deserve to get married?" Hyejin looked at the man who was driving. "I'm all set. Mental, mental, physical, even taking care of children. We've been through this long and you've been married once, too." Hyejin rebutted in a bitter tone. "All your experiences are enough to build our household, right? And with that, aren't you ready to get married again?"

"Hyejin, you know I failed in my previous marriage, so—"

"So why aren't you ready?" hyejin was impatient. "Did you not really love me all this time?"

"Darling, what are you talking about?" Jihoon glanced at a glance. "Everything I've been doing all this time is a form of love from me."

"Then let's get married." Hyejin emphasized her sentence again. "I can't wait to hear Yeonjun and Seojun call me mother. The four of us will be a whole family. Even if they're your ex-wife's son, but I don't mind taking care of them."

Jihoon knocked then hesitated as the red light flashed. He glanced at his little baby in Hyejin's lap and then at her lover in turn. Jihoon's heart was agitated, how could he possibly separate his children Younha, the biological mother. Younha must not accept and end up hating Jihoon.

"I don't think we should take the children from Younha." Jihoon smiled thinly with low intonation, trying to break Hyejin. "Younha is Seojun and Yeonjun's birth mother and it's very cruel if we separate them. I guess you also know a woman's feelings like that, hm?"

Hyejin rubbed gently as she rubbed the strands of Seojun's hair that had fallen asleep on her lap. "I'm afraid Younha won't allow me to touch Seojun and Yeonjun again after we get married. Sorry, I made a rash request like this."

"What's wrong, baby, I understand how you feel."

"But can they call me mother from now on?" Hyejin enthusiastic. "It's about time they knew that I too would be her mother. How's it?"

Jihoon did not answer and only a broken nod represented him, in fact he doubted and feared Younha would not accept even if it was a fact. Little things like saying "Mother" to others can also make an unwitting wound.

Younha was already too fragile, how did that woman endure this bitterness?

...*****...