About Saga

40. POV Rasty's

I woke up with a tremendous shock and my heart seemed to jump out of place for whatever reason I found myself drooping on top of a rnjang that was definitely not my room, I found my body without a thread and covered only in a blanket of the color Blue sea. And even worse next to me lay a figure that I knew very well my mind was so messed up my heart was inflamed after being able to gather my memories well. Yep... He and I have done it !! Angry, disappointed, devastated this feeling and of course frustrated how we can do things so far.

I found Saga who was finished from the bathroom he looked down did not dare to raise his face to look at me, I know there was fear from the look on his face at this time I was angry, hate, hate, disappointed in him, he said he loved me, who had also promised to take care of me and received a mandate from my father, it was he who destroyed me.

But I also realize not completely wrong Saga here I also have an important role so that this incident can not be prevented. Either I'm too stupid or I'm too drunk with the charm of a Saga. I know Saga is the type of man who is responsible and also very well I understand his intention to take responsibility for this mistake, but I can still think clearly if this is not the end of everything I and her Saga still have a future that we have to fight for. I know a lot of young couples who do the same with us maybe we are one of thousands but as long as nothing else happens then we can still continue to realize our future.

I want to be a Judge according to my mind and I also know Saga must also prioritize the continuity of his late father's legacy company because he still has another problem, namely his match with a girl named Sesha, do not want to fall into this situation I also agreed if we will continue to live the relationship as usual as long as nothing else happens we will not get married.

When the graduation and tomorrow will be held purnawiyata Mommy has even prepared everything She sewed a special bajubkeja for Saga with colors in line with my kebayaku. I feel tormented so much that my parents believe in him that they love Saga so much that it is impossible for me to tell Saga the ugliness, not Saga alone but me because we are equally guilty, equally guilty, equally lost sanity when na*** beats our common sense and beguiles with momentary enjoyment.

Indeed, I keep the burden of my own problems without daring to just share stories with others including my best friend Kinar not also to Mother who if usually anything I will tell Mother. But this time I chose to be a different figure than usual if I used to be jolly now I'm starting to like silence and solitude I even prefer quiet.

Time rolled quickly until the day we were waiting for arrived yes tomorrow is a full eventI hope a lot on this occasion so that I can realize the best offering for both my parents, so that I don't fail too much to be a child. I was determined to change everything I no longer want to mourn my mistakes I have to keep thinking positiv if this is not the end of everything. Even though I'm not a virgin, my world and my dreams won't end horribly.

This afternoon I decided to change my appearance identical to my straight hair I changed it by going to the salon in the complex not far from my house . I also cut my dark hair short to a short shoulder and I also established myself to wear a hijab. Not because I want to be seen alim after the fact that I have done free** with my girlfriend, my boyfriend, But based on some articles and also some explanations from al-Ustad and religious leaders who I adopted women or Muslimah was obliged to close the aurat. Then here will be very different context with my case , I did intend to close my aura so that I can better watch myself at least with my hijab I will always remember if I do not deserve to do that bad thing again. Consider that at that time we were both being khilaf, therefore it is impossible we repeat it again.

And today I have also bounced my heart to my good intentions by covering my law by wearing the hijab according to the Shari'a, for the great deal I have done let it be my business with God because I truly regret it and hope that I will never repeat it again.

I came back happy when I found out Shaka was also the 3rd best lulysan I was so proud of him I knew he was so clever, if not how could a child his age have led the legacy company of his late father. My lover today is very handsome looking very handsome with black jeans and a shirt made by Mother is really my admiration doubled today.

But at the end of the event I was very disappointed I intended to find the existence of Saga to join the photo together with friends and Father and Mother after searching throughout the page which is now transformed into a neat photo meeting place I also decided to look for it into the building and it turns out my guess is right there are still some people including Saga and akhhh... This is not the sight I want. I saw Saga being embraced and hugged by a beautiful girl with a body. As soon as the heat ruled my body, my heart was so painful and rumbling, my steps were immediately held back to move closer I was not able to feel. I also turned around to lower my intention to meet him and chose to go into the toilet spilling all the tightness in my chest until I felt a little relieved and then returned to follow friends - friends and also Father and Mother.

Until in the end I told both my parents if my scholarship application was accepted and I passed the law faculty at one of the universities in Singapore. Although I had to try hard to melt the hearts of both my parents to give me permission was not an easy matter anyway I finally succeeded even though I knew they released me half-heartedly. Because after all for them I am the youngest who must always be in their supervision especially I am the only daughter in our family.

Saga also met me as I thought he would come because indeed since the show purnawiyaat I had deactivated my phone more precisely after watching the scene was not healthy eyes and also my heart earlier. As usual Saga will always be able to easily if it has visited my parents as soon as I am reluctant to meet him then I will no longer be able to avoid if Mother has asked for it. I finally said goodbye and decided to talk to Saga outside of my intention to say goodbye to her.

Again and again Saga apologized to me and explained the incident that made me feel hurt and misunderstood. To be honest I can accept that reason because it was from the beginning before Saga and I committed Saga was already betrothed to a girl named Sesha. But still this heartache when seeing reality like that.

Saga again touched on the issue of responsibility for what had happened to us a few weeks ago, she remained on her wish to take responsibility by marrying me. And that is very contrary to my current wishes. "Married young " it's a scary scourge for me there's no way I'd let Dad and Mommy down if I were to be honest even if I didn't tell you the truth they wouldn't have possibly given me permission to marry young Dad and Mommy of course would ask our excuses if just out of love and fear of loss obviously it wouldn't fit into the logic especially Dad.

I also ended up considering Saga's wish we would get married in case the worst happened. I don't know why ever since the incident I seemed to lose feeling in my relationship and Saga maybe because I was too disappointed in myself and Saga so we did the sebo*** thing.

I know Saga is disappointed but this is the best, even I forgot my intention to say goodbye to him if I will continue my study abroad. Until we finally pylang with an unsatisfactory deal, especially for Saga.