A World Without Seams

45

Rachel made dinner outside. BBQ party, just the two of them. Sometimes Rachel wants a different atmosphere for them.

"There are always surprises!" said Jim walking towards Rachel who prepared the plate.

"Do you not like it?" ask Rachel.

"Like it, how can I help you?" ask Jim.

"Clean the one on the grill, and then we eat. I'm so hungry" Rachel said. Jim immediately took over the roasting.

Once mature, they eat together with pleasure while telling a lot of things. Especially Rachel told me about various events that day. Jim just looked at Rachel who was telling a story with a smile.

"Dengerin not really!" rachel Protest.

"Denger dong" Jim answered with a smile, then grabbed Rachel's hand and kissed her softly. Rachel smiled shyly at Jim.

After dinner, they did not go straight into the house but instead sat outside staring at the stars.

"You like stars." Jim said. Rachel nodded her head looking at the sky with a glowing sprinkling of stars.

"always. And it reminds me of you," said Rachel.

"Oh yeah?" ask Jim.

"Yes, because of the stars I saw you rehearsing that night. Remember that? You dance in the dark,"

"You must have been stunned to see my fondness,"

"Hmmm... Very pede," Rachel laughed as she gently slapped Jim on the shoulder.

"By the way, you rarely dance anymore, why?" ask Rachel.

"Udah tired first. In the office a lot of work, at your house," Jim chuckled as he looked at Rachel's flushed cheeks.

"Jiiim! Shame ah.." said Rachel.

"Too here shy, in the room... Ampuuuunnn!" Jim shouted because Rachel pinched his waist.

"Dance dong!" rachel Pinta.

"Ready lady Jim. Sit and smile sweetly, don't forget a sincere applause" Jim said, grabbing his phone. He turned on the music and started dancing. Rachel smiled as she clapped her hands.

"It's still as good as it used to be" Rachel commented as Jim finished his dance.

"A little stiff because it's been a long time no training," Jim admitted as he pinched his arm.

"But it's still good" praised Rachel.

"Thanks...," Jim picked up a drink and finished it in a few sips.

"Dear, here for a second. I want it" said Rachel patting the chair next to her.

"What do you want?" jim asked at his wife's request.

"First time like to dance must be a lot of people who like you yes," said Rachel.

"Uhm... Don't know! At that time I was just thinking about my career. I should be able to make a lot of money, because my family was broke at the time,"

"Hmmm... Really true?"

"Really! Can't believe?" ask Jim. Rachel nodded with a smile.

"Too girlfriend? Much?" Rachel Goda. Jim just laughed and shook his head.

"Just two dates, I told you it was hard to divide the time back then,"

"But finally..."

"Yes I have a boyfriend, nothing lasts long" Jim replied as he stared at the scene in front of him.

"Is there anything you think?" rachel asked holding Jim's shoulder. Jim shook his head.

"I'm just asking. Can't it?"

"May, for whatever you can," Jim's smile returned.

"Bragging! How's your ex doing?"

"Now again?" said Jim

"Just want to know, can't you?" ask Rachel.

"I don't know how, I never met either" Jim replied, playing with a glass in his hand.

"Hmmm so, is she pretty?" ask Rachel.

"Hmmm... Wait for you" replied Jim. Rachel kept quiet, not responding. It's hard to provoke Jim's talk about his past. Not that Rachel wanted to bring up Jim's pain, but because of his guilt for the woman. What actually happened, between Jim and the woman, the story is not over. What if one day the woman came to her senses and looked for Jim, and then found out the truth. Will she accept that Jim is married? Or is he angry? Or blame Rachel and time? Rachel doesn't want to be blamed for this.

"What do you think?" jim asked, grabbing Rachel's shoulder and leaning Rachel's head against her chest. He stroked Rachel's long hair.

"Nothing, but there's one thing that's stuck." said Rachel.

"What's that?" ask Jim. Rachel confirmed her seat and looked at Jim.

"I'm sorry before and promise don't be angry" Rachel held out her pinkie. Jim smiled and linked his little finger to Rachel's finger.

"Promise..."

"I'm sorry... I just found out about you and your boyfriend, first,"

"Then the problem?" ask Jim.

"Dear it out! I know from aunt eeeh but don't be mad at auntie. I asked him to tell me everything. Because auntie's happy to see you now" Rachel continued as she watched Jim catch his breath.

"It's just the past, why should it be told?"

"No, it just feels like something's stuck,"

"Hel, to me it's just the past. No need to be nudged. I'm just inhin' focused on us" Jim stood up from his seat and was about to leave.

"Just a second! It's not done yet,"

"Hul... Pleases. I don't want to talk about that,"

"But you..."

"I'm going in first,"

"Jim.." call Rachel quietly, Jim just silently stepped without looking at Rachel.

Rachel simply took a breath and exhaled loudly. Rachel had to be patient, because remembering Jim's past must have been as if reopening his wounds. It seems Jim still has the guilt of causing his long-time lover to lie in a coma.

Rachel busied herself with cleaning dinnerware, washing dishes and tidying up the cookware by herself. He needs to be alone and doesn't want to bother auntie. When she finished, Rachel took a shower. Although it was night but the smell of smoke and flesh on his body made him uncomfortable.

After taking a shower he went into the room and saw Jim sleeping with his arms covered over his face. There is guilt in Rachel but she is also afraid of their relationship.

Slowly Rachel got into bed and laid herself beside Jim. Looks like Jim is very good. Rachel pulled the blanket and slept. He was very tired today.

Shortly thereafter Jim woke up. He looked at Rachel for a while then walked to the window of the room and looked out. His mind floated up considering what they were talking about earlier. Somehow he felt angry just because Rachel asked about Leana. The woman he was dating. The woman he brought before the accident happened and caused a coma. Then her family took Leana away somewhere. Jim's been trying to go anywhere, but he can't find it. In fact he hired a confidant to look for Leana's trail. To date, all results are nil.

Pain in remembering the tragedy. He tried to make peace with his heart, with his guilt but he could not forget everything. But when he met Rachel, he was able to treat his injuries a little. Just treating not forgetting. He can't yet. He just wanted the woman to be safe, to be able to run his day. Jim didn't want this guilt to haunt him for the rest of his life even though Rachel was by his side.

"Jim... Your time is soon." one voice whispered behind him.

"Give me some more time." Jim asked.

"It's Jim's limit..."

"But I..."