99 Love for You

Decisions

*Cecilia PoV*

I can't go home in this situation. I am still shocked by what Mas Arif said. He once asked me to divorce Mas Alvian. Although a while ago I myself did want to divorce from Mas Alvian. But it's all just because I'm concerned about my ego.

Oh my God, is this karma for me? I'm so scared. I still love Mas Alvian. I left home angry. But I still want to go back. What am I supposed to do?

It suddenly crossed my mind to meet someone. Someone who can calm me down with his cool voice. Isma UMI.

I haven't seen him for a long time. He is a very friendly man. L like it. I don't know why I'm open to him.

"Assalamu'alaikum, Umi."

"Wa'alaikumussalam's chat. Hasn't been here in a long time. Is it too busy?" I touched Umi Isma and kissed the back of her hand.

"Sorry, Umi. Lately, there's been a lot of work and trouble." My face always can't lie.

"What else, son?" asked Umi Isma while taking me to sit in the mosque office. I don't know where Umi Isma lives. All I know is, I can meet him at this mosque. Because he usually conducts studies in mosques.

"Sorry, Umi. The impression is I came here if there's a problem."

"It's okay, son. Is there anything Umi can help you with? You look very agitated"

"I-i... Get out of the house, Umi."

"Astaghfirullahaladhim's chat. What was the problem until you left the house? A wife, abstaining from leaving the house without permission from the husband."

"I know, Umi. I'm sorry I did this too. Now I have to how Umi?"

...***...

"So you're going back to your husband's house?" mother asked as I tidied my things into a big bag.

"Yes, Mom. I don't think what I'm doing is right. I have to go home."

"Hmm, okay. I understand." Mom approached me and stroked my hair. "Look, when there's a problem, don't use your emotions. But use your heart. I know you're hurt a lot. Mom was hurt too. I can feel what you feel. You guys are married. Your problems are no longer my business. Yesterday I defended you because I know your nature. You can't be forced. That's why I let you stay here for a while. Now your heart is starting to improve. Then speak carefully with Alvian. From the beginning you already know what the risk of polygamy. An event like this, sooner or later it will happen."

"Thank you, Mom. Sorry if I always worry about you." I hugged Mom. My decision to return home was not necessarily due to my thoughts alone. But it was Umi Isma who convinced me.

I still remember the advice of Umi Isma.

"Marriage is the promise of a man with his Lord. You promise to be with your partner, in hardship, in joy, in every problem, to face together. It is not easy to accept a polygamous husband. Only your patience will lead you to heaven. Can you be patient, son? Can you be more patient? Allah will not give His servant more trials than he can. Don't give up, son. Keep praying to God. And strengthen your heart."

...***...

I took my foot steps towards the house. Our home. My house and Mas Alvian. I don't care what Mas Arif said yesterday.

I'm gonna fix everything. I'm sure I can. "Bismillahirrohmanirrohim...". I started to get inside the house.

Everyone is gathered in the family room. I saw a strange look from them. But soon after that the atmosphere melted. Madam Sari came up to me and hugged me. He was so happy that I came back. Nayla who was initially awkward, joined me and Mbak Sari. Nayla hugged me too.

I see Mas Alvian still silent. I know he feels guilty for me too. It was in her eyes that she was also happy that I was back.

"Why did you come back here?" I knew Mas Arif wouldn't like my coming home.

"This is my home, so I have the right to return" I replied aloud.

"Alvians..!" Shouted Mas Arif to Mas Alvian.

I smile. Alvian defended me.

"So you'll forgive your wife, Alvian?"

"Yes, Mas. I forgive Cecilia. We'll fix everything. Sorry if yesterday we worried about you."

"Can't!!! Our family will never forgive this kind of thing. Your wife has left this house of her own accord. And now he's easily back in this house? Can't be Alvian!!"

"Mas... Please just... We promise there won't be anything like this in the future." Alvian pleaded with his brother.

I better shut up. Arif looked at me sharply. All right, I need to talk now.

"I'm sorry, Mom. Yesterday I made a mistake. I follow my ego too much. I'm too angry. I was emotional at the time. Until I can't control it. Ii'm sorry. Now I'm conscious. I'm gonna fix everything. Me and Mas Alvian promised to start over. I hope Mas Arif can understand."

My God, my hands are shaking so hard. I don't know what power possessed me, so I can say that to Mas Arif. All this time I could never refute him, nor Mas Alvian. I hope he can understand.

"Maybe... Alvian can forgive you. But I don't!"

What did Arif say? My feet are limp, my God. What am I supposed to do?

"You... Always use your ego for every problem. Because of your selfishness, this family is fucked up."

Messed up? What do you mean Arif?

"I can't let you keep causing trouble in our family. When you want to get divorced from Alvian, you must follow your ego. Then you blame Nayla for Tasya's passing. Because of following your ego, you reported Nayla to the police. Even now, you are following your ego. To get out of the house just because Nayla knows she's pregnant. Cecilia, you will continue to do so. It won't change. Other problems will arise, and you will definitely use your emotions to solve those problems."

"Sir, what are you talking about? Cecilia was guilty, but she apologized. Don't prolong the problem." said Sari. Only Sari's mom always stood up for me.

"The problem is over, Mom. But after he came back, trouble came again. Our family is a distinguished family. We cannot accept your attitude of always using such anger. Go back to your mother's house. You can't go back to this house anymore."

"But, Mas..." My voice choked. I can't talk about anything. Every word of Mas Arif, like the word of an indisputable king.

"Mas... Don't do this to me and Cecil. I'll do anything as long as I forgive Cecil. Please Mas..." Alvian tried to defend me.

"No need to defend him anymore, Alvian!!! There's enough drama she's shown in this house!"

Free, Mas Alvian won't be able to help me. I know what their family is like. Which is used, cannot be denied. From the beginning, their lives were arranged. I was the one who forced myself too much to enter.

"All right, I'm going. Sorry, Mas Alvian. I have to go."

With a giant step I put my foot out of the house. I'll never be able to come back here. What I have left, I will not be able to get back. That is the mind of Mas Arif.

I heard Mas Alvian's voice calling my name. He wanted to chase after me, but was arrested by Mas Arif. Alvian kept pleading. But Mas Arif was flirting.

It's all my fault. I started this problem. So I have to be able to bear the risk.

My tears are starting to flow. Strengthen me, O Lord... Strengthen me...

...💟💟💟...

hmmmmm, the drama of Cecilia has just begun...😥😥

Please be patient 😉😉😉