Wife Custody (Second Love)

Julie

Six months passed after Keanu's death,

"Jul, I heard from Renata, she said before she died, Keanu asked Hanung to marry you. Really true?"

Keanu's mother, my in-law, asked me something I hadn't really cared about since then. I was too focused on Keanu's death and the grief that enveloped me. It never occurred to me to get married again, replacing Keanu. I'm better off on my own than betraying the owner of my heart. Also pity Hanung if I can't love him later.

I sighed, then nodded.

"Married, Son. You're still young. You're only 36 years old. Hanung was also his status clear, unmarried. Your age is not a problem either. He's only 43, right? Just a year with Keanu."

I kept quiet while staring at the plants in front of us.

"Mom knows who Hanung is. He's a good guy. Also be responsible. The proof for these six months, he took care of everything, right? The kids seem to be close to him too. If he's not kind or insincere, there's no way they'll accept Hanung, Jul."

I'm still quiet. Then slowly my tears flowed, down my cheeks. Mom saw it, and immediately grabbed me in her arms. Ah, Mother. My real mother is not so warm, the mother-in-law is even so good. If I'm married to Hanung, how will Mom feel? Am I considered a son-in-law?

"Jul, if you marry Hanung, I won't change. You are still the son of Mother, Renata and Darrel moreover, yes still the grandson of Mother. Nothing has changed, only our parents and family have grown. The addition of his father and mother Hanung, as well as his children Hanung from his former wife. Mom's ready, really. As long as you and your children are caring and loving."

I cried sobbing. Mom, what a big heart you have.. How can I repay your kindness, ma'am?

"Akan.. Julie will consider, Mom. Honestly, Julie had no thoughts of getting married again. Enough Keanu is in Julie's heart. But... Thank you for your support. Julie dear Mother.."

"It's okay, son. All this for your own good, and for the children. I love you too, Jul."

***

Hanung's coming tonight. Just like the nights before. After work, he always came to our house. Just ask the news and listen to the babbling of the children, then have dinner together. Not to forget he drove the children to their respective rooms while saying good night - the things that Keanu always did during his life, busy or tired whatever he was.

In the early days of our adaptation after Keanu left, Hanung seemed awkward doing it all. He usually came to this house without any burden. Everything changed after Keanu's departure. Something is missing, something is lacking.

But it didn't take long for him to mix with us. In just a week, he seemed to be flexible doing all the routine rituals in this family. He even looks very "Keanu". The kids call him Dad.

Over the weekend, Hanung takes his children from his first wife: Faraz and Dinda. Faraz is 16 and Dinda is 14. They quickly got along with my children. Renata and Darrel call them "Sister", while Faraz and Dinda call my children "Dik". Dinda and Renata often exchange stories together, then have fun with the way teenage girls who look very exciting. Faraz and Darrel spend their time fiddling with computers or playing games, much like Keanu and Hanung.

"Jul, what are you daydreaming about?"

Geez, from now on I was busy daydreaming, to ignore this Hanung who was in front of me.

"I've put the kids to sleep. They said yes, but you didn't hear."

"All that matters is that they are safe. Can I have some time to talk to you for a minute?"

I nodded while fixing my veil.

Hanung cleared his throat lightly. "Look. Do you remember the message Keanu sent me back then?"

Ah, that. I nodded slowly, then lowered my head.

"Your iddah is over, maybe you're not aware. You can actually get married again. Emm, about that message from Keanu.. Have you considered it?"

Just last week I started thinking about it, Han. It was also because I was reminded. Try it if it doesn't...

"Jul, I'm still alone. Although I am a widower with two children, as you can see, this status does not burden me to step on a new life sheet. My ex-wife has been married for a long time, my obligation to support my children is not too heavy, and my family agrees that I marry you. I've already told them."

Hanung has been a widower for 8 years. His family often matched him with a wide variety of candidates. I often find candidates for him. But everything is always rejected. In addition to less sreg, also because it has not been able to open the heart. Her divorce had left her heart scarred and tightly shut. He only focuses on working to be able to support his children who follow his ex-wife, in addition to meeting his own life needs.

Actually I sympathize with Hanung, who is so trying to look after and love us. But if I marry her, how is my heart? Would I betray Keanu? This fast?

Honestly, I'm still not sure this is the right path for us. But, well, there's a point to Keanu as well. If we don't get married, what will people say, seeing us everywhere together, without a legitimate status in the eyes of religion and country. But I'm worried, what will people say if they know we're married. We were supposed to be playing with fire behind Keanu. In fact, what if they accuse us of conspiring to take Keanu's life in order to be together?

Ah, why am I? Why do I think like that? Apparently the burden of this prolonged sadness is able to make my logic unhealthy. I can't be like this. I have to get up. Yeah, I gotta get back on my feet.

This house should not be allowed to walk alone on autopilot. We must return to function according to our respective duties in order to return to the reality of life. We need a pilot.

Hanungs..

Is Hanung the one who can be the pilot for us, Lord?

I prayed istikharah, asking for enlightenment and guidance from the Almighty for this concern of my heart, since a week ago.

And now, facing Hanung, I closed my eyes for a moment. Whatever my decision will be a very big one, it will have a huge impact on our life journey in the future. Not only for me, but also my children, as well as Hanung's children and his ex-wife.

Am I ready to go through all that?

God, what should I do?