What's up Selena ?

Chapter 12: Finding Ghandi

I went back to Ghandi's house, last night I couldn't sleep, Ghandi's face kept coming every time I closed my eyes. Not with a smile she came, but she came with a sense of sadness that gave rise to that guilty feeling. I looked at the smiling photo of Ghandi, I wanted to feel at least one warm smile from him.

“Kak Selena came alone well?” Banu was right behind me.

“So brother in between Damar, but he said he had business first” said I.

“Beautiful sister in the photo” Banu showed one of my and Ghandi's photos, there I held a white rose. I watched the two photos as I held the rose one red and one white, I was confused as to what these two roses meant.

“Banu, Ghandi is in your eyes what?” I want to know how the people around Ghandi look at him, I want to know the figure of Ghandi that I can never meet again.

“Mas Ghandi was like a super hero, always a savior of us all, he always wanted the best for me and my mom and sister Selena, too, even he was willing to not continue college to be the bone of the family, and the results of selling houses and shops in the tube to finance my school until I went to college, but still he was not a super hero, he was not, he's a human who can leave at any time and I have to accept that” Banu looks at me with a smile. I could feel Banu's sadness, but he didn't show it he looked so tough.

“But Ghandi who came only Ghandi who had a gloomy and sad face, when you showed this laugh at me Ghandi” said I who laughed at the photo of Ghandi and followed by laughter by Banu.

“Sorry well aunt rather long” Mama Ghandi come with a small size flower pot, white roses.

“Tante likes white roses?” my many.

“This is for you, later you bring home well, Ghandi always said that Selenya always likes white roses, but Selena never want to plant flowers at home, she said, so always the bouquet that Ghandi bought and because aunty instead of Ghandi aunty prefers a living flower” Mama Ghandi smiled at me.

“Ma, I go first ma, want to practice piano” said Banu.

“You play the piano too? Kayla also plays piano” I said.

“We are one training ground, I go first ma, sister Selena, Assalamuailum” Banu kiss her mother's hand and mine. Why didn't Kayla ever tell me anything about Banu, what else the boy kept from me.

“Tante, sorry if I disturb auntie again, I still want to hear about Ghandi aunt” I said.

“Tante is very happy that you often come here” mama Ghandi then tell our story back from we were small to we were adults. A lot of taste from the story of me and Ghandi, more sweetness. I also laughed to hear how Ghandi who every day read books, newspapers or any other reading just to increase vocabulary in making poetry for me. Not to mention the crimes of Ghandi that Damarpun has told me some of it. I saw Mama Ghandi so excited in telling Ghandi, just like Banu who looks tough.

“Tante, why is Ghandi who always appears in Selena's delusion, not Ghandi's aunt, Damar, Banu knows” my tears began to flow.

“How did Ghandi come?” mama Gandhi asked, holding my hand.

“Ghandi who came always moody and sad, and always claustrophobic when remembering him and also the feelings of guilt aunt” I keep crying, mama Ghandi then hugged me trying to calm me.

“What happened with Ghandi was suratan from god, never blame yourself because Ghandi must have been happy there” mama Ghandi joined in crying.

“Before Ghandi goes did Selena have anything wrong or there was something unfinished with our aunt, so it hurts” said I. Mama Ghandi then took her hug off me.

“Semenjak aunty moved house here, indeed you and Ghandi rarely meet. Ghandi actually never told the same aunt about the problems that befell you two, but indeed before Ghandi died, you two had a big fight and even you broke up” said mama Ghandi.

“Tante know why we broke up? I beg aunt” I'm not crying anymore, I hope to eliminate this guilt.

“Tante does not know the reason but obviously everything has passed, you still have to continue your life even without Ghandi” mama Ghandi touching my cheeks with his soft hands.

“Tante may I see Ghandi”'s room I said, at least by looking at his room I can feel his presence again.

“Boleh, it happens that Ghandi's belongings have not moved aunty kan” I followed mama Ghandi to Ghandi's room. Many photos of me and Ghandi are attached to the wall of Ghandi's room, even in my room there is not a single photo of Ghandi.

“Before” mama Ghandi picked up a box that was inside Ghandi's closet.

“What is aunty?” manya curious.

“Before you broke up and before the accident, Ghandi wanted to give the contents in this box to you” mama Ghandi's eyes back glazed.

My eyes were on a plastic white rose and a red rose on Ghandi's desk. In the pot of white roses it says WANT TO KEEP IT ALWAYS and in the pot of red roses it says NEW WORLD.

“Tante, this flower...”not finished my sentence, the sound of the car horn distracts us.

“It looks like Damar, aunty out first yeah, you are here aja” mama Ghandi go to see Damar.

I saw this room, the room was neat and clean, I'm sure Ghandi's family took care of this room. I laid my body on Ghandi's bed, I tilted my body and I saw Ghandi who was also sleeping on this bed, still with his gloomy and sad face. Ghandi caught me and slowly touched my cheek, I cried for it and Ghandi cried with me and disappeared again.

“Why you?” Damar came to see me lying crying on Ghandi's bed.

“Dam, I saw Ghandi, he was beside me, but he always came with a sad face” said I who then hugged Damar.

“We go home first okay, you don't overextend yourself” Damar stroked my head.

***

Kayla was sitting on the balcony where I used to be alone to write. Kayla was focusing on seeing a photo of a young woman holding a very cute baby girl.

“What photos do you see?” I said while holding Kayla's shoulder.

“This is me again see the photo of my mother with Selena first” said Kayla showed the photo to me.

“Mama is beautiful yah” said I who saw mama is very beautiful at a young time first.

“He's a beautiful mom, like Selena's sister there's nothing like me at all” Kayla smiled.

“Oh yes Kay, where was I in the coma? In london?” I remember my mother Ghandi saying that I was in a coma in London.

“Sister from the accident until now remains here, we are not there to London, indeed why kak?” ask Kayla curious.

“No Kay, big brother first well, want to sleep fast” I soon die Kayla. Kayla caught up with me, she must have been very curious about what I asked earlier.

“Kak, what's the secret?” Kayla was standing in front of my bedroom door, blocking me.

“Kay” says.

“If not a story later I say in Damar let me think again looking for a future wife” Kayla threatened and teased me.

“Sister thank you then, you can say your mas it” said I do not care about Kayla's threat.

“Kak” Kayla changed her facial expression like a child.

“Baik” said I finally let him into my room and told him what I felt lately, from the figure of Ghandi who now often appears, mama lied to Ghandi's mama as well as photo albums and boxes from Ghandi's mama for me.

“If mama, I know the reason sak, surely mama is afraid Sis Selena why-why” said Kayla.

“Doing mama is too much Kay, mama Ghandi alone can still toughen up even though his son is no longer there, while brother is still here” I said with a slightly enlarged voice.

“So sister wants to open that box?” Kayla shows Ghandi's box.

“Kakaknya not ready yet, open the box” I still hesitate to open the box now. I decided to keep the box in the room where my books were.

“Kak, I was assigned Mas Damar to look for friends brother, I have contacted them also sis, so what brother? Want to see you?” ask Kayla.

“You know where they are from?” ask me.

“Sama when I nyari mas Damar, via instagram, brother would never use the sosmed that we have made?” kayla said that sounded annoyed.

“Udah brother delete the application, no time brother see social media, emang you every second hahaha” said I tease Kayla.

“Yayaya mas wife candidate Damar” said Kayla who replied to tease me.

“Oh yes Kay, you know Banu Ghandi's sister?” my many.

“Kak” says Kayla.

“Kok never been here?” my many.

“Lagian Kayla is not close to him, he is if you already know his son is really okay” said Kayla.

“The child is okay, good, friendly and polite not like you?” I said tease Kayla.

“Basic brother-in-law Banu” said Kayla replied to me.

“You plan, right, you said I'm his future wife Damar” said I.

“Can be his wife Mas Damar” Kayla laughs at me.

Kayla's mobile phone reads, it looks like the name of someone familiar in my eyes is Lita Kurnia one of my friends list.