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Contrition
"And (of conscience), if you see when the sinners bow their heads before their Lord, (they say), “O our Lord, we have seen and heard, so bring us back into the world. We will do charity work. We are the sure ones."
[as-Sajdah/32:12]
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Amira helps the sister-in-law tidying up her luggage, her brother has decided to move to this City because he realizes the age of the mother who is not young anymore, also the fact that Amira is an adult and at some time if her soul mate comes then inevitably Amira must stay and follow the husband. With all these considerations make Arif steady to stay in his house not two years ago he bought for the mother and sister stay.
"Arif's gold stuff to be tidied up by yourself, Mi." Amira stared at the shirt she arranged on the hanger.
"No papa, Ma'am. It's not heavy." Amira turned towards the sister-in-law with a faint smile.
"I'm not good enough to make you tired like this."
"Who said Ami was tired? Ami's people are happy." Amira stared at the clothes of the brother into the hanging closet.
"I'm glad to see you're calmer" said Dinda, Amira's sister-in-law.
"I didn't calm down before, Mom?" Dinda looked at Amira then smiled.
"You used to look uncomfortable, you looked different and always agitated just for an event that you were not actually wrong. But now, you're much more different and calm."
Amira smiled faintly, she did not deny it because she did feel it, maybe as time went on it all got easier and more mature.
"What are your activities now?" asked Dinda while sitting, she was not strong for long standing because the age of the womb has reached eight months.
"Teaching is consistent, if no one else is consistent anymore."
Dinda smiled. Dinda is indeed a friendly figure, Amira remembers first when the brother decided to get married before leaving for Medina. Amira who used to be a cheerful Amira but easily scared, she was so close to the woman who was the wife of her brother. She did not expect that Dinda would behave any better than her own brother.
"Keep going home teaching?"
"And I have a clock only Monday to Thursday it also leaves noon because it goes after the sublime, so the previous activity may be ordinary household activities. On Saturdays and Sundays, I usually have cooking lessons."
"Friday?"
"If Friday ducks study ustazah Lena." Amira put the empty suitcase next to the cupboard.
"Wait on Friday."
Amira smiled as she nodded, then she walked towards the sister's bed and sat down next to the pregnant mother.
"Do you like your job?"
"Like, I'm comfortable with all that." Amira smiled considering the activities that she thought were really fun.
"I can see from your facial expression." Dinda gently rubbed the side of Amira's head. For Dinda Amira is still a little sister whom she knew nine years ago.
"That means you have a schedule for cooking lessons today?"
"No Ma'am, today Ami has an event with PKK mothers to be the guest star." Amira said calmly.
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Amira stepped out of the residential RW hall, she occasionally shook hands with PKK mothers and flashed a faint smile. He sighed as he exited the gate, Amira stood up for a moment to check her phone. Because today Amira does not go alone but among her brother.
Elder brother
Waiting near the mosque.
Amira frowned at the sign she was thinking hard, she tried to remember the fast road to get to the residential mosque. Amira has come here often, she has been one of the fillers of PKK activities here since the last four months. Amira chose to go through the blog on the right because when passing the blog on the left she will find several coffee shops and it makes Amira uncomfortable.
Amira chooses the right one to avoid the crowds of the men, but she forgets one fact that going through the right blog means she is passing in front of Dinan's old house. Once again he sighed, honestly he still could not deny the regret that would not change anything.
Amira walked with her head down, she looked up occasionally to stare at the road and then looked down again. He was speechless as he was right in front of Dinan's old house. He stared blankly at the building that had seemed to change, as far as Amira knew there was no small gazebo and fish pond and now it is there. Amira daydreams for a while, until the voice of a large veiled woman awakens herself from a world called memories.
The woman turned her head in wonder towards Amira, when she realized that Amira was wrong and then nodded and passed away. He had to rearrange a heart that felt like it had been broken. Like a puzzle that has been removed from the appropriate place.
Amira remembered Nirmala a year ago. The actual words he wanted to forget but it was as if he was sneering at him with constant appearing in the memories.
"Within to this city brought all his family. I hope that best for you, you can accept your predetermined destiny."
Amira again grimaced, she covered her face for a moment using her wide headscarf and then she took a stand and walked back.
Amira looked at the car of the older brother who had been a few steps in front of him, he immediately walked quickly and opened the door of the car of the older brother and entered, it made Arif surprised. He was astonished by Amira's different face.
"Why are you, Mi?" tanya Arif brought the sister's shoulder facing towards him.
"Well, what's wrong if I'm sorry?" tanya Amira makes Arif confused, but he is even more confused by the tears that come out of the eyes of his sister's life.
"I regretting something wrong and wanting to change for the better is not wrong. If you are sorry for doing good that it has a bad impact on you, it is wrong." Arif erased the cheek of the sister who looked wet, although useless because it seemed that the eye was a source of water that did not stop.
"I'm sorry I took him off, Bang. If only I had accepted his proposal I might be his current wife, not another woman. Wish I could turn back the clock I wanted to go back in time and change my answer."
Arif pulled Amira's body towards his arms, he let Amira vanish all her heart.
"I'm sorry, Bang."
Arif patted gently on the sister's back.
"I'm sorry to refuse him Bang. I want to turn back the clock to change everything." The cry of Amira became, making Arif sigh resignedly. He knew this was going to happen but he did not expect it to come quickly.
Arif had to wait a few minutes to wait for Amira's crying to subside before she advised her sister about everything she said. After Amira's stuffing shrinks she breaks down the hug.
"Is it better?" arif asked while wiping away the rest of his tears.
"Your clothes got snot," said Amira with a small laugh. It was enough to make Arif relieved that his sister was not as depressed as before.
"No problem, just so you're happy" Arif said in a teasing tone.
"Ih, big brother. I told Dinda."
Arif stroked the head of his fat brother.
"Your brother is already khatam Abang gombali." Amira pouted hearing the brother's words.
"Yes, the man and the fight." Amira said while sneering.
"All right now seriously. You want to listen to my brother." Amira looked at Arif unsure but she nodded her head.
"In a Muslim hadith which means 'Truly in things that are beneficial to you and ask Allah for help (in all matters), and never be weak. If you are hit by something (failure), then do not say, ‘if I did, it would not be like this or so’. But say, ‘this was predestined by Allah and Allah did according to what he wanted’. For verily the word if it will open (door) the works of Satan.'have you ever heard?" Amira looked at arif then shook her head.
"It is a hadith that explains that we must not presuppose to change something that is past. For it will anger God. So what you did was wrong. Immediately take heed and ask for God's forgiveness."
Amira looked at Arif's face in disbelief. He did not suspect that the expression of annoyance was an expression that had been forbidden by God.
"Now you understand?" Amira looked at Arif then nodded.
"Don't repeat it again" said Arif calmly then stroked his sister's back before she sat back facing forward and put on her seatbelt.
"Don't you, so we can't be sorry?"
"May regret, but in a sense we want to change. Just like you who are currently regretting doing the thing that you did a while ago. And that regret must be accompanied by change as well as repentance accompanied by the promise of not going back."
Amira nodded in understanding then she was preoccupied with herself saying a word in her heart hoping that God would forgive the sins she had committed whether intentionally or not.
"Let's pray, we go home!" Arif ordered in a soft tone. Arif was quite relieved by the changes that exist in his sister.
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