WEDDING (Not Just) IN BED

POV FIDELLIA GABRIELLA

Maybe this is my way of life. Being a woman of inner pain and soul because it was damaged by an immoral depraved man.

I accept God! Even when I have to choose between my ego and the life you show, I am forced to accept.

Wedding in bed. That's how people say. Because now I'm going to marry my brother's future husband.

Forced marriage, marriage without love, or contract marriage?... All that is just there are comic and best-selling novels in one of the famous online applications today. Also in the soap operas flying fish like doom.

Lives currently? It was like an endless long nightmare. If only it were. Why don't I accept MENTARI Dept's CEO's proposal. The store where I work despite being the third wife. Of course the title of the novel will captivate many readers to just know the way my story.

Hhh.... This is the reality of my life. The reality I have to accept and live. In reality, my little heart refused. But what power.

I took the decision to marry Ramzy a lot of consideration. One of them is because the depraved man I don't want to know his name is now starting to dare to appear before me. It even seems to be starting to pry into my personal life.

I have to take immediate steps. At least don't let him move around, looking for me and telling my papa mama the real story.

Thats enough. Enough sorrow Adelia went into the lap of the Almighty. Don't add to the news that I'm a victim of rape*an immoral depraved man at my age. Which caused my personality to change a total of 180°. Mama papa don't let me know my dark story.

Even if the secret I kept for dozens of years was revealed because of the man's actions, mama and papa would not be too worried because I was married despite all forced.

Fortunately, Ramzy also knows my dark story. At least, the household we built had a little pillar of trust between me and him.

Sinning indeed. Because our intention was to build a household instead of Lillahi Ta'ala. Because there are frills of coercion and reason.

I know, it's not good for us going forward. But me and Ramzy talked about it. For the next 6 months, I will also hold the status of widow and widower. I think 6 months is enough time.

May God forgive my sins for planning all this.

As time passed, and heartache no longer hurt my soul... I want to be happy.

Want to be like everyone else too. Falling in love, feeling happy to be loved. Desired and coveted.

All this time, I've never been able to feel that. Moreover, enjoying my teenage years until now my age.

My life is haunted by anxiety. Nightmares seemed to accompany my sleep that could not be sound. And it continues to terrorize my life. The small but strong hand seemed to constantly ambush me. Smothering my mouth and doing something disgusting.

I could only cry lamenting my bad luck. By ourselves. A very great fear. Even I hated Adel for a while thinking, if my sister hadn't called and didn't ask me to deliver the group book, that painful event wouldn't have happened.

But it all happened. Time cannot be replayed.

Only tears accompanied my nights through the prolonged silence of my heart.

Grateful papa brought Prita's doctor home. Because I was worried about my situation, which was constantly locked away. Little by little I can openly tell my inner pain.

Doctor Prita kept all my secrets. He played a doctor and a brother to me. I'm so grateful for that. The one good that God has given me is the presence of Doctor Prita.

And for some reason, the presence of doctor Prita is now also my regret. Because in the clinic he was the lecherous man back to haunt my days lately.

Hhhh...... That's why I chose to have a wedding on this bed right away. We'll get married tomorrow. The day that Adelia and Ramzy had set before. And I'll be sitting in bail later, replacing my dead sister Adelia.

I hope my decision wasn't wrong. Therefore all day long my tasbeh has not broken from the reading in my heart. Asma Allah I call to launch a historic day in my life. Ramzy's life too.

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