WEDDING (Not Just) IN BED

POV AGNES MAHARANI

Like lightning on a hot day. Like a dream in a hole. At dawn Ella's sister called me.

My real brother, whom I now love and am proud of, gave me some unexpected news.

With his sobs that sounded sad and heartbreaking, Ella said.

Papa?!?.... Which papa is it?... Our papa??? My papa???? Papa who for almost two months always gave me spirit through chat-chat?? Papa who has just grieved that mama has been called the Almighty???

Papa?... Paaaaa.........

Suddenly I'm stuck. Like a confused person. Crying can't either. Just a blank stare, empty no shadow.

Papa's.

Since childhood I have not known Papa. As far as I know, my mother told Utami that she was a widow whose husband had died. Mother Tami has been taking care of me and my mom since I was 4 years old.

I forgot to remember my mother's face. In addition to just being able to see photographed there are three of us, who mother saved in her album book.

I was like a good dream when there was a middle-aged man, claiming to be my father. And the noble-hearted woman, who assures even holds my body in her arms.

A warm and comfortable hug.... That woman was my mother's honey. And it was he who strengthened me in shame to accept the fact that my mother was his young wife.

Hik hik..... Mother Ella was so good to me. Every day he also hates me. Asked me news, even sent me new items such as barbie motif blankets, as well as beautiful bed linen in various colors. I don't know what his heart is made of. So holy and noble. He always asked me to be patient. Waiting for my 'introduction' day to Ella's sister as her half-sister.

Apparently, God has other plans. I understand the turmoil of the heart of Ella, when she found out.there is another woman in the life of her beloved father. The one who is none other than my mother. And there was another child born of her mother's honey, I.

Hhh..... I heard from mama papa, sister Ella was so angry that she did so, mr. Ramzy.

Hix......

I understand Ella's feelings. If I were him, maybe my actions were more frontal. Maybe I'll make fun of the son of the woman who took half of his papa's heart. But Ella's sister isn't like that. Ella hurt herself more. Hik hik..... It made me respect and admire him even more.

Moreover, the full support of her husband who looks so loving her whole heart.

I admire both. Very very impressed. I don't know if I'll be able to get a perfect partner like Ramzy's sister?... Handsome, kind, well-established job, even he is a big business boy whose name is quite famous in the world of intertainment and retail entrepreneurs in this country.

Hhh.... I started to move a little bit away. To keep the feeling of Ella. Which must be very painful. Even though I don't know the details of my mom and dad's life, they were married with Naina's permission. But as a fellow woman, I understand. And I understand that the name 'actor' is still 'man-capturer'. Despite the fact, until the end of life, mama did not 'capture' papa. Even claimed to be a widow who died husband. I'm sure, mama harbors wounds and sorrows as well. Until he called himself that. And Mother Utami trusted all the words of her mother by taking care of her as well as me.

I read the letter from the greeting card, from Bryan Alif Pratama. Like the sound of waves during the day on the beach. So calm and thrilling. He said a short word. "Happy Valentines Day"

And I dare not interpret more than the coming of this bouquet of flowers. I dare not fantasize because I know who I am. Who is Bryan.

Suddenly papa called me. Crying sobbed across, saying that mom fell out of the bathroom. And still unconscious.

Mama Naina! The golden hearted woman! That half angel woman! Lying weakly in a hospital bed with a variety of aids that make me cry.

I don't understand, why is this pain so heartbreaking? Mama Naina's love for me, so sincere and able to beat the amount of time also the love that Mother Utami gave me.

My tears can't stop flowing. I cried. Expect mama to come back to her senses and smile gently at me. I want him to recover as before.

Sister Ella came, and I could only hide to see her. I just saw it from a distance. Pray for your mom to wake up and get back to health.

But God said something else. Mama was picked up by the Owner, making me feel how cruel this fate was toying with me. While sister Ella still does not accept I am a child papa too. And I keep his feelings. I followed Naina's mother's funeral procession from a distance as well.

And I went to see Papa once in a while without Ella's knowledge. Because I understand and really understand the condition of his heart and his feelings.

Only my prostration, to Allah Ta'ala. I hope this improves and Ella doesn't hate me.

Until my prayers are answered. Sister Ella hugged me tightly in the traditional market, when we accidentally passed. Words soothing. He told me to look at my dad at home often.

I don't know, it felt like God was so good to me. We cry for each other. I am happy, though I have many tears and painful losses.

Sister Ella accepted me as her sister too. Alhamdulillahot.

But I have not enjoyed that happiness for long. Papa. When Bryan revealed what it was like to me. Bryan wanted to get to know me better. And want to try ta'aruf with me.

But papa is gone. What is the beautiful future I hope to see? Is the happiness of my life too difficult for me to achieve while I see out there people are so easy to get happiness even just throw it away.

Me, for a happiness. As if I should exchange it for sadness and suffering.

Hhh......

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