The Wedding With Converse

Episode 8

I recognize you as a stranger. I accept you as a stranger. And finally I love you as a stranger. Until now I don't understand why the farther we go, the farther you are unrecognizable.

Almost half an hour Raskal stood dumbstruck in front of a jewelry store in one of the shopping centers in Jakarta. He intends to buy a ring that is appropriate for his future marriage to Joana. However, if you use the savings to buy a ring at a fairly expensive price, he will certainly not be able to finance all the other Joana needs later.

Raskal looked at the last balance in his savings book. After yesterday he sold some of his favorite items such as play station, launchpad, Swiss Army watch, and Nike Air Jordan shoes, his savings now contain approximately 80 million. If calculated by spending later, the money that can usually be spent in one week is certainly not enough. Moreover, Raskal must pay all the costs of giving birth to Joana later.

Raskal massaged the forehead that felt dizzy. Since she decides to take responsibility for Joana's pregnancy, Damar requires her to take care of Joana's needs and Joana's future. He said if he did not want to be prosecuted for the immoral actions he had committed, Raskal had to marry Joana and bear the girl's life for life. Raskal who could not dodge finally could only agree to Damar's entire desire. After all, without the need to be threatened with such demands, Raskal actually did intend the same. So, right now, he shouldn't be complaining. Moreover, the more ruined one here was not him, but Joana. His companions.

Raskal shook his head. No, he can't complain. Until the end, he must keep fighting. If now he had come to despair and gave up just like that, who would have saved Joana from this all later?

Joanna almost lost it all. So, if he spends a little more money to buy his best friend a ring, it doesn't seem wrong. He could work if his money wasn't enough. So, armed with determination and confidence, Raskal went into the jewelry store in front of him, then bought a ring with a simple model for Joana.

***

A week after Raskal confessed his actions to Damar, Joana seemed to lose the spirit of life. He did not attend school, rarely ate, and did not want to talk. Girls are like the undead who only breathe. His family who saw Joana's condition was certainly sad. Especially her mother, Hestia. He always cried every time he saw the condition of his youngest child. He was very angry with Raskal. He was eager to throw all the blame on the boy who had been considered his own son. However, after he thought back, all the mistakes could not be bestowed on Raskal. Although the main cause of Joana's destruction is still Raskal, the beginning of this problem must come from her and her husband who can not take care of Joana. Because they are too busy with their respective jobs, Hestia and Damar sometimes become too apathetic with the state of the house.

After all, it's unfair that he just blames Raskal. Just like Joana, Raskal is still a child. As tough as the child is facing problems alone, Raskal is still a teenager who really still needs guidance. Thus, Hestia never agreed with the proposal of her husband who wanted to assign all responsibility to Raskal alone.

“Raskal is still a child, Mas! Where can he support Joana alone!” hestia exclaimed when she denied Damar's proposal.

“But, she's a boy, Hes. He must be responsible for what he has done to Joana,” Damar said, not to be denied.

“Raskal has no job. He's still in school, too.

Where could she possibly support Joana alone!”

“That's the risk. Enough, Hes. Don't argue with me.”

“So you want to live their lives?”

“I don't want to tellantarin, but educate them. I want them to learn from their mistakes.”

Telak. Hestia could no longer refute the words of her husband. While Gea and Givi who heard the commotion could only sit quietly in the living room. Just like her parents, they are also shocked by the news of Joana's pregnancy. Not only that, they were much more surprised after they found out that impregnating Joana was Raskal, his own sister's best friend!

“Raskal jerk!” hiss Givi furious. Unwilling to make matters worse with Givi's anger, Gea responded to calm her sister by rubbing her shoulders slowly.

“Ang is free, Vi. It's no use. What we have to do now is take care of our one sister,” whispered Gea lirih while looking at Joana who was observing the entire room with a blank look. “It will be difficult to make his soul return to the back again.”

“Gue never thought Joana would have this kind of problem.”

When Givi spoke like that, Joana looked back into her brother's eyes. Then, still with a blank look, tears just flowed from there. No sound, no emotion, the clear water just dripped from Joana's empty eyes.

***

Again the phone call was interrupted. As if he did not want to hear his voice, every time Raskal called, his mother always disconnected him first. In fact, Raskal really wanted to talk to his mother about the problems she was experiencing. Although his mother turned into a woman who always changes partners, at least he still cares about Raskal and not as hard as his father. Although not often, his mother sometimes still asked him news by phone or SMS. However, now, when his presence was so necessary, his mother had instead disappeared.

Raskal surrendered. He eventually chose voicemail sending mode to replace his phone. Then, in a quiet corner of the room, tired and also in a desperate tone, Raskal started recording his voice.

“Halo, Mom. How are you doing? Mama's healthy, right?” ask Raskal for pleasantries. “Hopefully, wherever Mama now lives, Raskal hope Mama is all right. Keep healthy. And ... If you can, do not smoke too often and drink alcohol. Not good for the health of Mama,” Raskal gave a pause to prepare his sentence. “Raskal ngelakuin error, Ma. Raskal ngehamilin Raskal's own best friend,” Raskal fights with gasping breath due to tightness. “Besok Raskal wedlock, Ma. That's why Raskal wants to call Mama. Raskal needs .. Raskal needs Mama. Aja day. Can you please Nemenin Raskal? Raskal can't be alone, Ma. Raskal could not. Raskal has not been able to make it all by himself. Raskal's scared, Ma. Raskal was afraid,” continued Raskal again with a stammering voice. “Raskal need Mama.”

After the recording stopped and was delivered, Raskal leaned his body against the wall of the room. Relieving the fatigue that these days is not only a physical gnaw, but also a drain on the heart and mind.

When the situation was destroyed like this, Raskal sometimes imagined he was sleeping and sometimes woke up, then realized that all this was just a dream. However, it seems, if all this is just a dream, Raskal must be ready if this dream will not end.

It never will….

***

In the room, Joana stared at the nyalang kebaya hanging beside the closet. If only the white kebaya collared sabrina did not belong to her mother, it would be like Joana burned it so that today she does not get married. But, what power. Even though hundreds of kebaya managed to burn him, in fact he still can not change the reality. She still has to marry with or without kebaya and makeup. So now, when Givi forces her to at least scoop her face with a little powder and a little lipstick swipe to keep it from looking pale, Joana can only resign. He let his elder brother rule over him at this moment.

“You know when you're in, Jo? Same story Brother let you be relieved. Brother promises will not make lo,” said Givi slowly while leaving Joana's long hair.

Givi took a long breath. Concerned about his sister's condition, Givi stretched out both hands to hug Joana from behind tightly. “Sabar, Jo. While this may be you have to accept him. That's for the sake of child—”

“Gue doesn't want to marry her! Nope! Don't want!” joana screams suddenly while forcibly breaking Givi's embrace. Givi, who was shocked by Joana's sudden hysteria, collapsed and fell to the floor. If only one hand did not rush to support, maybe now his head has hit the elbow of the bed.

“Joana! Lo why?!” tukas Givi direct.

“Gue doesn't want to marry that jerk! I'm not going to!” joana again. While continuing to rebel by ruffling the entire contents of the room, Joana continues to call for her unwillingness to marry Raskal. Initially, when he heard Raskal's proposal a few weeks ago, it sounded easy and seemed capable of him going. However, as she thought about her future, Joana lost that confidence. Raskal's proposal instead turned into a pressure that slowly drove him crazy.

Before long, Hestia, Damar, and Gea entered the room. When he saw Joana's room that had been originally tidied up was now back in disarray due to the owner of the room rampaging, they immediately responded to hold Joana's body.

“Joana stop! You why the hell?” asked Damar while holding Joana who just kept wanting to destroy the items in front of her.

“Joana don't want to marry Raskal, Dad! Joana does not want to! How is Joana school?! What is Joana's future? Joana wants to be a designer, Dad! Not being a housewife! What will my friends say when I get married? What would our families say if they knew I had a child? I'm scared, Dad! I can't deal with all this alone!!!” joana screams endlessly, as if issuing all the tightness that had been deposited in the heart.

“Sabar, Joanna. Patience. Mama, Dad, Brother Gea, same Sister Givi will not leave you. You have to get married just so your son has a father,” said Hestia while hugging Joana's body tightly. “Sorry Mom, Jo. Sorry Mama who did not care for you until all this happened. It's all Mama.”

“Iya, Joana. We will never leave you,” continued Gea, calming.

“Do not make everything more difficult. Just live this wedding as it should,” Damar said before he finally came out of the room. Leaving Joana who was still crying in her mother's arms.

***

Joana and Raskal's marriage was closed. Only Joana's nuclear family and one of the initiators bear witness to her second marriage. Because Joana's age is still not even seventeen years—sign she is not qualified to marry, forced marriage is only validated religiously only.

Raskal's face looks stiff and pale even though it looks quite neat with a plain white shirt wrapped in long sleeves, black suits, and peci. While Joana, even though her messy appearance has been restored, still unable to hide her fear of this marriage. If only the two were not in a difficult situation and actually married on the basis of love and not on compulsion, maybe today the two would look like the happiest couple.

Half an hour later the wedding will begin. While waiting behind the table, Raskal was busy calming down the turmoil in his heart and affirming the belief. Supposedly, this was the truest path he had taken. It's his responsibility. He can't run. He made enough mistakes. He didn't want to do it a second time.

Raskal sighed. He straightened his body, then raised his head. Suppose today his mother came, at least he had a little extra strength. In fact, again he had to swallow the bitter pill of disappointment.

“Can start his marriage contract?” ask the ruler in front, breaking the silence. Damar who was sitting not far from there immediately nodded. Meanwhile, Joana who had just sat beside Raskal suddenly stiffened.

“Can, Sir. Please begin,” said Raskal firmly, making Damar directly extend his hand to the boy.

After that, everything felt like a dream. When Raskal finished saying his hijab smoothly and was immediately greeted with the ‘sah’ command, Joana began to feel that everything she could not save anymore. On this day, this hour, this minute, Joana must accept the fact that she has become the wife of Raskal Galivan Anandio, a friend whom she no longer knows.

***

In the past, before any problems befell them, Raskal's apartment was always his main goal to drive out the tired, play station, or ask Raskal about lessons he did not understand. Now, not even two steps Joana walked into the apartment, she was pecking on the spot. The footage of the horrific event that happened to him one month ago is again twisted in the brain. Bumping awareness to make Joana's body drift backwards. If only no Raskal could have snatched his body, he might have fallen.

“Lo why, Jo?” ask Raskal worried. His two hands clutched tightly onto Joana's shoulders.

Raskal's voice then makes Joana jerk. The girl hurriedly regained her consciousness and broke away from the clutches of Raskal's hand. I don't know, just a little touch Raskal made his body tremble. To him, that touch was no longer from the hands of the person he had known for almost ten years. The touch is so foreign and taboo now.

Joana lowered her head. Not looking at Raskal's eyes. Raskal realized it was more than injured. He's been hit hard. Raskal might be able to accept if Joana hates him. However, she could not fully accept the fact that Joana was like seeing a beast that always wanted to eat it whenever she wanted to if she saw him.

Raskal smiled bitterly. Honestly, he hates this situation. But what can he do? Wasn't this also part of the result of the mistake he had made?

After putting Joana's suitcase and backpack into her room, Raskal returns to face the girl. Then, slowly, in a clumsy motion, he extended his hand to Joana's face, about to raise her head. But, not yet his hand until, suddenly Joana brushed aside and pushed Raskal to fall to the floor. Then, not enough to get there, Joana just knew to take off the ring that became a wedding dowry and throw it right in front of him.

“Do not hope you can touch me!” exclaim Joana toilet. After taking his gift ring that Joana had thrown away, Raskal stood up again. With his head bowed, Raskal stepped back.

“If you don't want me to see you, I will try maybe to avoid the same eye lo.” Raskal gulped his saliva with great difficulty. He clenched his two hands tightly to hold back his current emotional pace. “If you do not like me deket-deket same lo, I will keep the distance. And if ... if you don't want to hear my voice, I'll be on them. I try .. I will try my hardest to make you comfortable living here. I don't ask you to serve me as your husband. But, please, Jo ... please consider me like a friend lo.”

Joana grunts. He smiled cynically. “Friend? You're not my best friend anymore. For me, our relationship is now nothing more than the relationship of a suspect and a victim.”

As soon as the sharp sentence managed to silence Raskal in a landslide, Joana stretched her legs into the room. The sound of the door being closed forcibly rang out in the ears of Raskal who had currently fallen down while holding his emotions desperately.