The Wedding With Converse

Episode 3

Such things that I hold with all my heart are easier to go, forever I will try to know myself. To no longer look at you, no longer talk to you, and no longer laugh with you. Yeah, I'll work it out. Even if I had to go to far places to avoid you, I would. I don't want to meet you. Even in a dream. Because I'm never ready to be left by someone I love once again.

Three weeks passed. During that time Joana avoided him. Over and over again Raskal wants to meet the girl, whether at home or at school, but Joana always refuses to meet her. Let alone meet, see the goods for a moment the girl does not want. That makes Raskal go awry. He was confused about what else to do to treat Joana who was angry like this. Though Raskal understands very well, Joana is not the type of person who can be angry for a long time. Especially with. But now Raskal knows his condition is different. His mistake in the girl was too big and fatal. So, it's only natural that now the girl hates him half to death.

“Tuh kid actually why the hell?” ask Gavin to Reza. He pointed with a chin motion at Raskal who was leaning against the back wall of the school.

Reza shrugged his shoulders. “Not knowing. What is clear is that children have changed since the events of the new year's night.”

“Ck! Bulls blowon,” umpat Gavin while downing the mineral water.

Reza chuckles. “Name also love.”

“Because of that fucking love we all got hit. Nih, look, behold again also nagging children,” guess Gavin when he saw Roni, their younger brother— who was told by Raskal to buy Coca-Cola— bring a can of Fanta. It seems like it might be just a small mistake. But, for the chaotic state of Raskal's heart like now, Gavin one hundred percent sure soon Roni will be Raskal's moon.

Sure enough, when Roni gave Fanta to Raskal, the man's emotions instantly turned one hundred and eighty degrees. Who was silent and cold, Raskal became suddenly fierce.

“Do I need to buy a mic following his sound system just to tell lo doang? Hmm?” asked Raskal with a tone that was deliberately made calm. One hand refuted Roni's chin which was now busy looking down in fear. “Gue thought my voice was loud enough to call Coca-Cola! Coca-Cola, Roni!!! Co-ca-co-la!!! Not Fanta, Goofy!”

“Ma-sorry, Brother. Me ... my.…”

“I what?! By the way, still pretending to want to enter tongkrongan! Cih!” ketus Raskal again while shaking Roni's head until the guy fell curled to the ground.

“Sorry, Brother. I bought another drink yes, Brother,” said Roni while kneeling in front of Raskal.

“Ndon't need. Now the command changed.”

“What ... what is it, Brother?”

“Buyin cave one jar of chocolates rooster, chocolate umbrella, the same gum Yosan,” said Raskal lightly while floating two sheets a hundred thousand on Roni. “Gue give you an hour from now. If you don't get it, you and your friends will get punishment from me. Know?”

“But .. but, Brother, I found all the snacks where?” asked Roni timidly.

“Where is the cake! Search the cake market! At the candy cake agent! Whatever lo! Just don't search in the material store aja.” Raskal chuckles. “Lo want me to take a step, right?”

Roni nodded quickly. “Mau .. want, Kak.”

“Yes, go there! Cepet!!”

“Iya, Brother!” roni exclaimed before he finally dashed out of the school area, leaving Raskal who was currently laughing by himself.

“Something seems to be very satisfied nih abis ngerjain boy,” said Gavin who had just approached Raskal, making Raskal stop his laughter.

Raskal. He took out a cigarette from his pocket. “If it will be the same engine that the tempe models are so, destroyed this school when we pass.”

“Yoi! Not good, though! Not good!” connect Reza while thrusting a match at Raskal.

Gavin clucking. “Ya clear tempelah. People of the education system initially just tell them to be babu so.”

Raskal. The rarity and look on his face suddenly disappeared. The movement of the hand that was originally about to bring a cigarette to his mouth suddenly stopped. Gavin's speech had accidentally awakened the sleeping tiger in Raskal.

“What do you mean?” raskal asked with a piercing tone. Gavin answered him with just a snorting laugh.

“Enough, Kal. Don't be a kid. If there's a problem, say. Do not need until the children of people are allowed to vent. You think his father's mother nyekolahin is a child to be a maid what?”

Raskal. Didn't expect to hear such a sharp speech from the mouth of his own sidekick. “Lo is no longer running, is it, Vin? It's still morning! Nine hours belom.”

“The tuh elo, Kal,” said Gavin in a serious tone, making Raskal stop his laughter once again. While Reza, the guy let out a long sigh. He sure is right, after this the two friends will definitely make a big fuss. Reza who is in the middle will certainly be hassles to unite the two again.

“Kok lo nyolot?”

Gavin smiled obliquely. “Lo makes me sick!”

Bugs!

One powerful jotosan hit Gavin's jaw right after he launched his last sentence. Raskal did that. Instead of fighting back, Gavin instead let Raskal keep beating him in a row. Reza also let the beating. It's nothing, Reza had wanted to break up. However, after seeing the look in Gavin's eyes while staring at Raskal who was different from usual, he knew that his friend was indeed intending to provoke Raskal's anger. Lured that guy to take off his silences these past three weeks.

“Fuck you, Vin! Goddamn it!” maki Raskal after he launched his last kick in Gavin's stomach, made the guy bounce a few meters from where he was standing earlier.

Gavin coughing. Blood came out of his mouth several times. However, the guy still smiled a grin grin at Raskal. “Udah angry? Not satisfied? Huh?!”

Raskal grabbed her whole hair, frustrated. Without caring for Gavin, the guy throws his body into the back wall of the school. He drowned his head between the curves of both knees.

“Because you've made me bonyok here and there, so .. so can I dong ask ...lo it's actually why?” ask Gavin dotted. The guy is now sitting next to Raskal.

Raskal. He didn't answer Gavin's question.

“Do not be forced. Slowly,” whispered Reza to Gavin. Gavin nodded. “Gue just take red medicine first in UKS.”

After Reza left, now behind the high school are Gavin and Raskal. The two remained silent until Gavin opened the conversation again.

“If you know the end will be like this, should be MOS time I do not need to talk to you acquaintance. I should not be able to win the same lo if only to destroy lo doang,” said Gavin lirih. “Children who do not have a future like me should know enough to not deketin lo.”

“Diem! Don't have to bacot a lot!” maki Raskal's. He couldn't bear to hear Gavin's words just now.

Gavin laughed heartily. “My ways, your school grades are down. Because of me, you who might not like to go out at night even become a champion of the tracks. Because of me, you so join the school case here and there. And ... because I also lo join ‘make’. Sorry, Kal. I'm sorry I dragged you into this fucking vicious circle.”

Raskal glanced at Gavin. In the middle of the blood on his temple, he could see there were tears melting there. “Diem lo! Never once have I cheated on all of this, Vin!”

Gavin laughed again. “Gue understands lo, Kal. I understand because the problems you experience are not much different from what I experienced. But that doesn't mean I want your fate as much as mine. Lo who has a bright future should not be juxtaposed with me who do not even know what to be later.”

Raskal. He clenched his two strong hands.

“Lo new ‘make’ several times. There is still a chance to stop. So, I beg you not to ‘make’ again. If you have a problem and need an outlet, whenever you can hit me. I'm ready to be samsak.”

“No, Vin. No that!”

“I'm enough, Kal. Enough I was destroyed,” said Gavin slowly while patting Raskal's shoulder. “Lo pinter's. You can be what you want. Proven to nyokap bokap lo who already died lo it, evidences to Joana, proof to me if someday you can be ‘orang’.”

“Sial! You say it as if you want to die tomorrow you know not!” raskal was upset.

Gavin chuckles amusedly. “Ya .. who knows. So, at least I do not need to be tired of writing a will.”

Raskal let out a long breath. He glanced at Gavin again. Maybe it's good if he admits the problem to his best friend. “Gue accidentally slept with Joana, Vin.”

Unlike his guesses who thought Gavin would scream, the man's reaction when he heard his confession instead just laughed and said, “Finally you proved not to be gay, Kal.”

“If he wants to leave you, justin. Not arrested. That's his right. But, you don't. Prove it to him if you're not as much of a jerk as he thinks.”

Raskal. He smiled at Gavin. “Still yes, Vin.”

“Alah, you kayak same anyone anyway!” Gavin.

“Thank you for me,” said Raskal sincerely. Gavin greeted him with a soft nod.

“Anything, if anything, story.” “Iya, Sir. Ready!”

Not long after that Reza appeared with a P3K box and a bag of fried food. Seeing his two friends have made up, Reza immediately revealed his jaily smile.

“Cie is better! Very friendly anyway! From far away look like Aliando Prilly deh!” exclaiming Reza out loud who immediately greeted the pounding of cans from Raskal.

***

After the bell from school rang, Raskal hurried out of class and ran towards Joana's class. After telling all his problems to Gavin and Reza earlier, with a slightly relieved feeling, Raskal steadied his heart to try to meet Joana again. It's his fault, his responsibility. So, it was only natural that now he would have to lower his ego and pride a little to apologize to Joana.

“Shin, Joana is still in class?” raskal asked as soon as he met Shinta in front of the school corridor.

“Again, again, again! Why the hell do you if I meet Joana Mulu?” nyinyir Shinta as she rolled her eyeballs.

Raskal clucked lazily. “Ya .. kan lo temenya.”

“But not every second is he the same as me, Raskal! He still has him in Dalem. Self-aggrandizement again. Lagian lo apain him anyway to the extent that he did not have the spirit of life begi—”

“OK. Manks!” Raskal forcibly cut Shinta's words earlier, making the girl immediately sneer in annoyance.

After struggling to catch the students who want to go home in the school corridor, Raskal finally arrived in front of Joana's class. However, Raskal had not been able to approach the girl, his steps were held back when he saw Reon first meet Joana. Unlike when meeting her, where Joana will instantly turn cold and fierce, the girl looks warm. Although Raskal knew, for the sake of looking fine in front of Reon, the girl even forced her smile to expand. That fact unconsciously made Raskal doubt. He felt small again.

“But, he won't come home, Kal. He's more choosy than Reon. Yes ... he preferred lo,” Raskal sat in, trying to convince himself once again.

“Lately I rarely see you with Raskal. Where's that lo prince?” ask Reon to Joana. The condition of the empty class made the echo sound to Raskal's ears which are now still standing behind the door.

“Ke sea time. Don't talk about him anymore. Males I heard it,” replied Joana later.

“Again ya lo both? Why?”

“Once again you know about him, I will not want to be taken home with lo!” joana Ketus.

Reon chuckled softly. “Actually I'm still heartbroken about lo who prefer nganterin he came home on the eve of the new year. But, after that, his condition turned around. It’s okay. I tried sincere.”

Joana grunts. “If only time could be repeated, I would not want to bring him home. My nyesel!”

“Ya. Now we're back, yuk. He said he wanted me to buy a basketball costume first. Later to close the shop,” Reon switched the conversation.

Joana sighed. After putting the backpack on her back, the girl walked along with Reon out of class. When crossing the door, the two immediately crossed paths with Raskal. For a while, the three of them just stared at each other. Joana with a glare of guts, Reon with a stern look, and Raskal with a look of frustration.

“Gue wants to update Joana today. It's okay, right?” reon asked, breaking the silence that began to circle the three.

Raskal did not answer Reon's question. He just fell silent on the spot as he continued to stare fixedly at Joana.

“Soaring!” joana's word to Raskal.

Raskal's still petrified. Not moving a single inch from where he stood. That certainly makes Joana upset. So, regardless of the gaze of the man before her, the girl directly pushed onto Raskal's shoulder, forcibly removing him from the front.

“We first, yes! Bye!” reon said before he and Joana left Raskal alone.

When Joana and Reon were away, Raskal was still standing in place. The boy's strength seemed to suddenly collapse when he accidentally heard the conversation Joana and Reon just now. He feels stupid when he remembers how confident he is of Joana who prefers him over Reon.

Raskal laughed bitterly. When this was the case, was there any hope for him not to be left again?

***

When the door of his apartment opened, Raskal was again given the view he always saw everyday. Silent and silent. Such is the state of the apartment that can actually be occupied by four to six people. But, boro-boro six people, if he does not go home, this apartment may be much quieter than a funeral park.

Raskal let out a short breath. After closing the door and putting the backpack anywhere, he threw his body into the living room sofa and closed his eyes. The clock showed at one in the morning. Should have—like other normal children—himself already sleeping in the room. In fact, he is not the same as the situation of other normal children. The state of his life is far from normal and can be said to be messy.

Her mother's father divorced during Raskal's third grade in Elementary. Shortly after, they decided to get into a relationship with another. His father was married to his grandparents and his mother with a male friend. The incident forced Raskal to stay with his nanny who is usually called Budhe Yun— at that time his parents' families were not willing to accept his presence. It's nothing, his parents were married without the blessing of both families. So, do not need to be asked if from childhood he is used to being alone. Especially after his father decided to live in Bogor and his mother to Bandung. Raskal understood more and more that he had to be strong to start learning to live alone. Luckily, there was still a family of Joana who wanted to take care of him. Joana's father, Om Damar, had even considered her like a child herself. So, he did not feel much pain when in the end Budhe Yun was declared seriously ill and was forced to not be able to take care of him anymore.

But now he made a fatal mistake. A mistake that will not only make Joana go away from her life, but will also keep Joana's family who she has also considered like her own family.

Raskal got up from the sofa, then stepped towards the kitchen to grab a drink in the refrigerator. While downing the mineral water, Raskal circulated the view to the entire corner of the apartment. Like him, the state of the apartment bought by his father is very messy. Packs of cigarettes, tapes, and dirty clothes scattered here and there. The former place of instant noodles was also left lying on the television table. The smell of alcohol was so pungent in the apartment that— should—look this luxurious and neat.

Suddenly Raskal's head felt dizzy. His chaotic mind and heart apparently made his body become weak. Raskal then moved to the corner of the kitchen. Once again curled up there.

In the silence of the apartment, Raskal re-thought the situation of his life that was getting more chaotic. He thought, if his life continues to fall apart like this or even much worse, in the future he wants to be what? When will he run, find pleasure here and there, kill time, eliminate loneliness? When will he be yelling? Will he continue to rely on money from his parents? Up ahead, inevitably, he will have his own life. He'll have a family he'll have to live with.

Raskal laughed gruntingly. It turns out Joana's talk three weeks ago and also Gavin's talk this morning really made him stupefied. It really made him think that he shouldn't have made the chaotic state of the family an excuse for him to get messed up too.

“Cih! Actually I why the hell?” raskal sizzled when he accidentally realized that now he was thinking of nothing he had never thought of.

Drt .. drttt .. drrrttt!

His phone that he had placed on the living room table tibatiba just vibrated for a long time, a sign of an incoming call. Raskal hastily picked up his phone there. Joanna. Raskal's forehead shriveled. In her heart she wondered why Joana called her in the early hours like this.

“Halo, Jo?” raskal said as soon as he picked up his phone. However, instead of answering, Raskal instead heard a sobbing sound from the other end. That made him panic. “Jo, how come you cry? Tell me the same.”

“Kal ... Kal, I .. I—” Joana said in a dotted voice out of tears.

“Lo why, Jo? Tell me the same .. lo why?” cecar Raskal, started a row with Joana who did not answer his question.

“Gue pregnant, Kal.”

As the question was answered, Raskal collapsed. The phone he had been holding tightly fell and was thrown to the floor. Joana's voice was still heard from there, but Raskal was reluctant to answer. At this moment, at this second, all of Raskal's power seemed to be lost to nowhere.

***

In the bathroom of her room, Joana grasped a pregnancy test kit with trembling hands. There are two lines that indicate there is a human candidate in the stomach. Because of that thing, he barely went out of the room all night. He didn't even eat or do schoolwork out of fear. Yesterday, he was vomiting and nauseous. However, he thought it was just a cold. Just a regular pain. Not even pregnant like this.

“Damn it! Fucking raskal!” maki Joana slowly along with her sobs that continued to echo.