THE SMITH'S (A Sequel Of Not Just Friends)
PART 269 – ABOUT NATHAN
WHAT A TORTURING GUILTY FEELING
(The Tormenting Guilty Feelings)
Happy reading ...
>>> Backward Again Gengs .. ---->>> Spy View
***
“This .... home lo?” Kevia asked as he and Nathan were already in front of the gate of a sizable house. Bigger than the house Kevia has lived in with his father and stepmother.
“This is my old home” replied Nathan. “But I called you first”
Kevia nodded then Nathan called someone and talked about the key.
“For a while, the key is on the way” Nathan said as he turned to Kevia, rubbing his head.
“I mean old house, lo and family don't live here anymore?”
“Iya. We live in the Main House now. Dad wanted to be closer to the other family there. It's a lot and I'd rather stay there”
“Oh. You mean the other family?”
Nathan smiled.
“My family is a big family. It's so big, though. So where I live now, the main residence we call it, that's where we live when the whole family is gathering. Both those in Jakarta and those in London”
Kevia mangosteen – mangosteen.
“And when those who live in London return, my family and I move here, Mami and Papi go back to their penthouse, the main residence so quiet only Mom Ichel and Daddy Dewa same Mika and Ares course”
“Papi, Mommy, Mom Ichel, Daddy Dewa?”
Kevia asked with her plain confused face. Nathan chuckled small.
“Stop me telling you when it's inside. The big line is, my Dad has a lot of brothers, so they're like my own parents. Children – their children are already like brother and sister I own”
Kevia mangosteen – mangosteen.
“In my family it abolished the limits of whose son A. That doesn't exist. All want blood or blood ties. So less is more.”
“...”
“Before, it's Mr. Halim come bring key”
Nathan paused his story and then immediately got out of his car to visit the father who had just come by using a matic motorbike. Talk for a while, then receive the key from the hand of the father who then opens the gate.
“That's who?”
“The one in charge of taking care of this house. Mr. Halim and his family work for us. But they
don't want to be told to stay here. Only once a week if there are no tenants, they will routinely clean house”
“Oh. So this house is contracted usually?”
“Iya. My mother forbade selling. Make investments he said. Yes it was rented. But this house has made me actually, the rent of this house also goes into my account if anyone rents”
“Pantes lots of money”
“Matre yes?”
“Pengen. But it can't. Then don't want ah, it'll be the same as a poisonous snake. Matre is he, so godain papa”
“Yes already? We talk about something else?”
****
“Seru yes?”
Nathan has brought Kevia into his old house and has turned on the living room lights and some other parts downstairs.
“What?”
“This is the lo” family
Kevia points to a large figura that contains photos of Nathan's entire family without exception.
Nathan smiled broadly.
“Ga something ugly huh?”
Nathan chuckles at hearing it.
“The main thing you guys are happy ... look very much at his expression. Real ga made – make”
Kevia looks sad staring at the big family picture of Nathan.
“You will be part of it later”
“It looks like you will”
“Kok that anyway?”
“Golden ga pantes aja”
“You don't know them yet. I will know him later. Actually today I want to take you to meet them. But yes ...”
Nathan hung up his sentence. Kevia understood and smiled her smile.
“Ga what I understand. I am not ready to meet your family. Later they ask about my family, even make you embarrassed...”.
Nathan scrambled Kevia's hair.
“My family is different. You can rate it later if you already know”
“Bedanya?”
“My family does not look at social status, or family background to judge good and bad
somebody's. That's why I want to recognize you to them immediately, because it's as sure as you”
“Indeed former – former lo?”
“Ga there's something I've brought and introduced to my family”
“Gue also do not ...”
“Via, please ... you promised never to talk weird – weird”
“Iya sorry” Kevia smiles thin.
*****
“This ga what – what if you bring me here?” Kevia asked as Nathan held her while walking towards the second floor.
“Ga what. I'm confused where to take you. At least this house is safe and secure for you
cozy”
“Still. Sorry ngerepotin”
“What the hell? You nih. Stop feeling sorry for me” Nathan said.
Kevia smiled at him.
***
With various considerations Nathan decided to bring Kevia to his old house.
Nathan's dead-end is taking Kevia with him. For a while, until Nathan gets word of the circumstances
kevia's dad Nathan's thinking how. And he's thinking about how to explain Kevia and what he's done and what he's likely to face.
“You can use this room. My room used to be. But it's been changed since this house was rented. Don't worry
sheets clean. Routine replaced even though no one occupies. I checked the bathroom for a second. Looks like the complete equipment. But I did check again”
Kevia nods as he and Nathan are in the same room that Nathan told him it was
her room.
“You take a shower?”
“Ga bring change of clothes”
‘Ah yes’ Nathan impinge. Don't think about stopping by where to buy clothes for Kevia. Nathan is confused by himself. “There is a Mal near here, I buyin ya?” Nathan offered. ‘Eh but ...?’
Nathan's momentary dilemma. If he goes to buy clothes, Kevia means he'll stay alone. Horrified also if you leave Kevia alone. – Thought Nathan who is not sure that Kevia has ‘tenang’.
As Nathan fell silent, Kevia watched him. “Why?” Kevia asked Nathan.
“Ga what – what”
“Ga buy me clothes. Lo go home aj”
“Ngusir?”
“Iya”
“Home I loh this”
“Oh yes lupa”
“Sini” Nathan brought Kevia to sit nearby. “Change”
“What?”
“Normally. Don't lo me again”
“I am you?”
“Iya. Better it sounds”
“...”
“Please?”
“Iya udah”
“Try?”
“What?”
“I – you”
Kevia chuckles.
“Funny you Jo”
“Well that, good with”
Kevia smiled at her smile. The sweetest smile Nathan's ever seen on Kevia's face.
“Often – often yes, smile like this. Glad I saw”
Kevia smiled at her smile again. Makes Nathan unable to hold his face closer and Kevia and
kiss Kevia's pink lips.
Nathan's chest rumbled, his kiss not a moment. Somewhat delicacy. There's something in Nathan that feels hard to describe. But as hard as Nathan can stand.
“Your darling, Vi ..” Nathan stopped the kiss, but stuck his forehead and Kevia's forehead.
“Iya, thanks. But don't overdo”
“Means?”
“Honey, can. But don't be so dear. We do not necessarily continue the same – sama”
Nathan looked hard at Kevia.
His heart was not happy to hear Kevia's words just now.
“I said what? Stop talking about death ... I hate to hear it!”
“Do not get angry – angry”
“Sorry ... I'm annoyed that you spoke so continue – terusan”
“That's not what I mean. I'm talking soul mate, Jo. If the tranquilizer I'm not drinking. But you see the consequences?. Me, so if there are those at home consuming it yes because that's it, that drug can stop me from thinking about hurting those who live there”
“.....”
“But I follow your wishes. Not to drink that anymore. I promise, I will keep it. Won't talk about catching up with mom or trying to get close to her again. Already trying to focus on yourself, stop thinking about the name suicide. Yes because of you, which makes me feel meaning”
“Still, Via ...”
Entangled body Via in the arms by Nathan.
“What I talked about was a soul mate. Don't be too dear, if in the end we are not destined to be in line, it will hurt”
I don't know why there's such a big pound in Nathan's chest. Kevia's words sounded painful. Nathan
don't want to lose or Kevia leaves.
The word – another Kevia said flashed in Nathan's memory, how many times Kevia asked for an end. Know it's not because Kevia doesn't love, Kevia just doesn't want to be Nathan's burden.
But still, Nathan will maintain that Kevia does not go where –. Thinking of a way to tie Kevia up so you never think about leaving her. Somehow, an unfortunate chat with Sony and a close friend of Nathan stopped in his head.
Kevia who often asked for hopefully he connected – connect.
‘Cewe ga going where – where if we have taken ‘itu’ nya’
Nathan swallowed his salivary.
‘Yes, huh?’
Nathan asked his mind.
Finally, Nathan stared at Kevia's bead.
“Dear are you the same as me?”
“Iya ..”
And then Nathan said,
“I want you, Via..”.
****
“Via...”.
That's Nathan's voice whirling through a room. Yeah, his room's in the old house.
The room that witnessed where Nathan first ‘touch’ Kevia. Where they touch the body
where there is not a single thread attached to their bodies.
It was a pleasure that Nathan tasted, but now, the pain is rampant. Every time Nathan remembers his first fatal mistake.
Only Nathan and God knew, not now did Nathan struggle with remorse as if he had not
finale.
Since long ago, since Kevia left and can no longer see Nathan after his second fatal mistake.
Regrets are there and are growing all the time. Unfortunately, it is only kept in the heart.
Trying to find a solution on their own, until approximately four years passed. Regrets without action.... Only
just looking.
Cowardly.
Indeed, Nathan was well aware of that. Aware that he was nothing more than a coward, ba** and depraved as Andrea and Mama Jihan said.
His promise to Kevia he denied himself. Pseudo-promise to always keep Kevia and be by his side whatever
happen. But it turned out that he was ultimately the one who hurt the most.
But no one knows, as much as the disgrace he kept for about four years before Andrea opened it in front of his parents and other family, how much Nathan regretted his actions to Kevia.
Regret without action is free. The fear Nathan had continued for four years. Cowardly is his name. But Nathan, he really loves Kevia. Then that regret that he had saved himself made him tormented half to death.
If that day he could hold back, it wouldn't have happened. Via ga pregnancy will not exist, Nathan will not be a monster who could eliminate his own child candidates. He and Via are still together.
Yes, if.
****
Nathan used to come to his old residence. If the house has no tenants.
Spending time there though I don't know what the benefits are other than remembering his sins and mistakes to Kevia. Then feel almost dead crowded because of the regret that so squeezed his chest. Plus his misses on Kevia are immeasurable.
In that house, in that room, Nathan could cry all over. Still often try to contact Kevia at his old number, just like four years ago since Via went missing.
Still often look for Kevia on social media networks as well, sometimes the same funnya friends – friends who still
frequently related to him. Or come to visit his father Kevia's house, but last month Nathan stopped by, it turns out his papa Kevia's speech is still the same.
‘Via hasn't returned yet, Jo. No news either. Om blank, have tried to pay people but Via is still not found. His number is still inactive. But Om is still trying, he won't stop. Jo still want help finding Via?’
‘Salah Om, always underestimate the feeling of Via. Because Om, Via went. because Om, Mama's birth Via committed suicide .. and since then she hated, Om and Olive, but Om forced her to stay, without thinking about his feelings for Olive, Om brought him here. And when Via tries to hurt Olive again, Om's hand slaps Via. Because it's .... Via increasingly hate the same Om, and decided to go ..’.
Nathan's chest was tight, since a month ago his courage had not appeared. ‘Coward nan ba**ngan’
it was like he was attached to Nathan.
‘Not because Om only ...’
Only in Nathan's heart would you dare to say.
***
-->>>>>> Look back again
“Jo, I'm pregnant”
Nathan recalled.
“What? Be – nar so Vi?”
“Iya. I bought a testpack. Line two. I'm late for my period, so I'm trying to check. I read, I read,
line two is positive, he said. So yes, I am positively pregnant. Two lines”
***
“Aborsi?”
“Ya how do you want?”
“Hust?”
“You don't want Vi. I want UN, you also still have another year at SMA”
“Ga what, I quit school aja”
“Vi, don't gini dong. I want to go to college, you still have to go to school. I don't want you to quit school. We are not ready!”
“I'm ready. Maybe you're not ready. Yes it is up to you. Take responsibility or whatever it takes. I
she doesn't want an abortion. If you want to go, go there. I won't make you responsible”
“But Vi ..”
“You are calm. Later when my stomach is big, it is too late if I am pregnant. I'm not gonna say this is your son.
So please go there if you don't want responsibility, or kekeh ask me for an abortion. I ga mau”
***
“Ngapain still here?”
“.....”
“Nby the way. No one – who is here. Please talk as freely as”
“Vi ... I love you. For God's sake I love you Vi. If I was just looking for fun with you, after that day I would have stayed away from you. But it's not really?”
“...”
“But please think again about your future if you keep this child, Vi ..”
“Yes this is my future. Others I don't care”
“Vi! Don't be so stubborn why the hell?! I ain't going where – where! I'll marry you, but not now Vi. I established myself first. Please understand dong Vi ..... We are still a dozen years old, married, taking care of children. You are sure what is capable of taking care of children, you yourself are still unstable?. Don't be selfish!”
“Udah done talking?”
“Vi ...”
“Kalo done please go. Don't come again, don't see me again. We're done here”
“Engga, I don't want us to finish”
“I still don't want abortion”
***
“Still nauseous?”
“Sikit”
“Eat first a little, out of it drink this”
“That's what? Nausea medication?”
“Not this Vitamin”
“For?”
“Yes you are pregnant ...”
“Big to have vitamins”
“Ya don't know. It's from there. Eat yes a little, then take this vitamin”
“Iya udah”
***
“You give me what?”
“...”
“Yang yesterday is not a Vitamin right?”
“Sorry .. I don't just think about my future, but also you, Vi... I don't want you and your family to be ashamed ... This mistake will be cleared up later. You're patient but”
“Wicked ya you? Turns out.. This is the original. Fake. Eleven twelve equal papa ..”
“Sorry Vi ... I was right – am sorry... I have not changed after this. We've been like this all along. If I disappear, stay away. Well please if you want to tell your papa about my actions. Papa, you know my Daddy. If I know – know how to stay away from you. Please say, announce to everyone what I've done”
“You know ga? Do you think I noticed my stomach ache yesterday? You don't exist .... he said there will always be?”
“Sorry ... once again I'm sorry .. I don't know how long the reaction was.... You should have called me yesterday if you were in pain .. I must have come to Vi...”.
“....”
“Ya already, go home there”
“Vi ...”
“Consen is the same test. Are you worried about the future? So if you go home, study, tomorrow is still a test, right?. Don't try to hold on to me, don't. I don't want to be a burden on your future”
“Ga so Vi ..”
“Ga think of me. From this moment we are done. So mending now you go home”
“Vi ...”
“Please?. You've killed our son, uh my son .. You won't ngakuin”
“Don't that also say Via!”
“Yes have gone home. Need me to kneel down so you want to go home..?”.
“Vi ...”
“Back ya, Jo? Darling?. I want to be alone. Don't worry, I'm not thinking about ending my life. So then
you can go home to your house quietly”
“Tomorrow I come again”
“Please just”
“You guys want to invite you to meet my parents and family who are in the main residence if you are afraid of me where – where. But please about us ... which we have done .. about this.. understand what I mean?.... I beg you very please do not say what – what to them ..”
“....”
***
“Via go...”.
“Means Om?”
“She went carrying almost all her clothes”
***
Look at the front road again
“Why Vi ....? Why should I go? ..”
Nathan wailed again, his tears remembering Kevia. Weeping regrets that for approximately four years Nathan kept alone. Here are thousands of apologies to Kevia that Nathan couldn't get to the person.
Nathan wants to see Kevia again. If you can meet, before Andrea knows first. Maybe Nathan will tell Kevia,
'I'm sorry .. really dead I'm sorry. I regret. Very - very sorry, even if it's free. But if I may ask, I ask for a chance Via. if you want to love me, come on, accompany me. I'll tell my parents and family everything'
But it's just wishful thinking. Just Nathan's wishful thinking. Because until now Kevia hid so neatly. From Nathan and his father. Nathan's love, not just mon-mon's love for Kevia. But really love, like Dilan love to Milea?.
'Don't miss, heavy'. It's like Nathan wasn't wrong. But when Nathan followed up watching that movie that is often really on watch the following Moms Andrea and Mika. That, Dilan spoke.
While in Nathan's case, it was Kevia who spoke. Don't miss, heavy. Because I'm leaving. Go away from you, because I hate so much. - Maybe\, I suppose. - Nathan's feelings were surmised.
And so for four years or so, Nathan often spent all day in his old house until the night before and fell asleep later. In addition to living his life as usual. And during that time Nathan remained 'silent' about himself and Kevia.
Showing his attitude that has been known to his family and to everyone around him. Makes everyone think that Nathan is 'well'.
Later, when I meet Kevia. Maybe, Nathan will reveal everything to the family.
Actually, Nathan they ain't 'good'. There was regret following the deep wounds that were permanently etched into his heart along with a name. There was a stabbing pain every time Nathan remembered it. Kevira ....
Yes, Kevia. The love he hurt so badly.
*****
And this morning the ringing sound of his cell phone woke Nathan up from the contest.
“Ya Bang?. Wa’alaikumsalam”
Varen's brother called Nathan.
“Where?”
“Long home”
“You live there what?”
“I fell asleep. This is going back to the residence. What's up Bang?. Mama okay right?”
“OK. Just still sick of it"
"Yes, I understand"
"Gue wants something”
“What?”
“Lo want? if I had met you with Kevia?”
***
To be continue ..........
