The Secret of Two Hearts

is this what ta feels like?

with different times, places and circumstances

here he was, sitting alone, in the garden behind the cottage, sitting,

yach, he's a radit, now he's sitting alone here, elongated wooden chairs in the garden behind the cottage, now this place is the most quiet, quiet place, to be able to make his heart now improved, from everything he has passed, now, he sits with a laptop on his lap, he said, want to see the contents of the flash disk that has been given yesterday by father ditta

'ehm, hi kha radit, assalamualaikum, how nich tidings, must be good right, I won't be long anyway, appeared here, I just ask for his time benthaaar aja, hiks,,, I really want to talk to you about the disease I'm experiencing, hhhh but I'm quite afraid, I don't have that much courage to reveal everything, sorry yach kha radit, sorry, before her, I asked her to forgive me, honestly,, all this time, all this time I've admired kha radit, I quite like the same kha radit, radit, because of that I do not like when kha radit always tell me to make it close to rangga, hhh, rangga, even I do not have a taste of him, I just like the same kha radit aja all this time, all this time, I know I'm shalah, but, this feeling is so big, that I don't even know, what to do, kha radit,, don't get mad yach, 'cause I'm pretty presumptuous to reveal all this here, I don't have that much courage to express the feeling I felt while alive, I know enough, I was presumptuous because I already had this taste, which is even, I know, maybe Radit himself will laugh a little when he finds out, I'm sorry, I hope, because radit can forgive all my mistakes, and thank you all this time Radit's always been someone who always makes me excited in educated, I say goodbye, assalamualaikum?' instantly, Radit who watched the video immediately fell silent a thousand languages, how he did not realize that ditta had also admired the figure of himself who in fact his best friend

"sorry ditta, I'm sorry, because I never realized if you also admire me in silence, I'm quite selfish, because it harbors this feeling itself" he murmured while looking down

"o Allah, thank you, for putting such a great and wonderful feeling in my heart for someone, even though I could never have one, at least I've come across a figure that lets me know what it means to admire the real with patience, and endless forgiveness,,,"

"she was the woman who taught me the highest point of love that is to love, now she has managed to make me fall in love with the fall, she is the woman I love suddenly arrived and renounced forcibly,,"

"with him I'm happy, as long as he's by my side, it feels like my world will be fine"

his speech choked because of so much pain he said honestly without having to lie to his feelings at this time

"however, in fact You willed another, he has returned to YOU again, and yet, the figure within him is still very much in my heart."

"when I try to get used to it without him, it feels like I'm almost crazy to fight a longing that I can't meet until fate one day reunites me with him, I was once sick from refraining from going with him there, even crying when my memory flashed always on him"

the melt of water flowed from the eye bay of the figure who had always looked firm but with a fragile heart that was deep in his sleep, however, struggling with his mind,,,

"deservedly if our current destiny can no longer be one, then please help me, with sincerity, with sincerity, for letting go is true compulsion almost makes me hate my own destiny even slowly."

"the pain that I cannot explain directly and the disappointment that cannot be expressed, O God, for the last time, I failed to forget it again for the umpteenth time,"

***

this afternoon in the middle of approaching the tomb with the name Ditta Alia Aldiansyah on the tombstone, he slowly squatted and stroked the name gently

"akhh, assalamualaikum ditta nya radit?" say the obvious only the wind then alone that sounded without hearing the answer greetings from the figure who might be expected her now

"thaa, I'm back, now I'm back here again, your new home, which may now feel comfortable there, thaa, which is quiet there yaach, yach, now I don't feel the pain anymore yach, I'm happy, finally you don't bear the burden anymore, I hope you're always happy yach there?" her speech grimaced grimly

"dittaa, this sick person, this is how he feels, is he living by a figure that means a lot to us? even this is so much more than just enough, it hurts me so much" he raved

"thaa, I'm sorry, I'm so late in saying this, but, as your feelings are reciprocated by me, I'm beginning to admire you, when we first met"

"hiss, I was quite sick when I saw you lying stiff with that pale face thaa, I couldn't forget tha, I failed to make you forget, thaa, I failed, I'm sorry for never realizing this and telling you that I felt the same way, when I was with you, I was selfish enough to hold this feeling myself, sorry, if I hurt your feelings because I once told you to accept the rangga with pleasure, but I can not deny, at that time,, I also feel pain that may be the same as the pain that you feel right" he said trying hard

"i thought this was a dream that made me quite depressed, but, this tomb made me realize everything, why you hid all of it from me thaa, why do you bear the pain that you experience yourself, when I am your friend, I feel failed in everything thaa, I failed to be a strong figure, he said, now I have failed to become a friend who is always there for his friend, but I am lucky enough, because God allows me to get to know you so far, thanks to all of him, one thing you know, I will never turn my back on you, thank you, for always being patient in the face of all the trials of HIM, I am quite proud of you thaaa, I am, may God again allow us, to meet again later in his place in His pleasing"

"i'll say goodbye, I'll come back to visit you, will you?" he said with his forced smile

_**When Gus Fall in Love_

don't forget to keep track of all, warm greetings from the author,,

Thursday, 14 July 2022**