The Disabled Man is My Husband

Permana Indra

At night, in the room with a white light illumination. Indra sat straight with the headboard leaning, do not forget the laptop on his lap. Fingers on his right hand (remember! only the right hand, due to his left hand being deformed from birth, could only bend without being moved) dance skillfully over the keyboard to complete his work.

His mind went nowhere, trying to look to the past, when he first met a beautiful girl, tall, (especially for the age of the era) and skin as white as milk. without him noticing the smile just escaped his lips.

"Where are you Ki. why do you have to disappear from my sight. I will lose you too. Life is meaningless without your presence, even though I can only see you from afar. But I feel happy. To be honest I want to achieve happiness with you, but what is my imperfect power. I don't want you to be insulted just because you're friends with a disabled man like me". Indra said in his heart.

Indeed, he felt a tightness and pain in his heart, as he could only see the girl he loved laughing, smiling and even crying from a distance. Sometimes Indra himself could not control himself, He wanted to approach Kia and embrace her when Kia was injured, But Indra always managed to hold her back.

Indra looks back to the past, where he and Kia are still the same SMA. Indra vividly remembered the first day of school, Kia was despised and in disrepute, exhausted by her friends, because she wanted to be friends with a disabled man like him. From then on he started to stay away from Kia and just became her stalker.

Tok tok tok.. the sound of the door on knock from the outside disperse Indra daydream.

" In." Sahut Indra from within. Open the door wide and show Mama walking in. Indra immediately picked up her laptop and placed it on a bedside nightstand. Mama Meri sat in front of Indra.

" People... Are you thinking of something." Ask Mama.

" No Ma, I'm just finishing up the office work." Elak Indra's. Indra's answer made Mama disappointed, because Indra always harbored a secret about the girl of his heart. He will only tell Rey the Assistant and his best friend.

" kids... Don't you want to come to the office just once, Mama heard your new secretary is beautiful, simple looking and able to make the employees fascinated." Mama's fishing rod, who knows Indra's curiosity will float to the bottom so he wants to come to the office to see who is the new Secretary.

" No Ma, I'm not interested at all." Reply Indra lethargic. How not to be lethargic, He so remembered the adoration of his heart that always overshadowed him, Even every night Indra could not sleep before looking at a photo of Kia on his cellphone. The photo that Indra took was silent as Kia daydreamed at the cafe where she worked.

" Dear, you're twenty-six years old, son, don't you think of finding a life partner." Mama asked with a heart, Mama did not want to make her son offended by her words.

" I haven't thought until there Ma, how many women would accept my condition like this Ma. They'd be ashamed to have a disabled partner like me." Clearly Indra who is not confident will lack physicality.

" dear... Mama's always saddened by your disbelief, son." Said mama seseku. Indra has always been humble with her flaws. What would be wrong if his left hand was deformed?. He can still walk. Sometimes my mom gets upset by herself.

" I'm sorry Ma's not what I mean to make Mama sad." Indra clasped Mama's hand.

" It's just, you're waiting for someone you love, so." Look Mama looked into Indra's eyes.

" I. I." replied Indra nervously, He spread his gaze in all directions.

" Say baby... Who he is, Mama's gonna propose to you soon." Say Mama.

" Don't Ma, I don't want to rush, It's just my feeling, I don't know if he has the same feeling or not." Indra.

" What do you feel right now, you love her but you can't say it, then how can you know about her feelings for you, If you really love her, fight for your love, son, Don't you be so damned like this, it's gonna hurt a lot for you." Mama gave advice to her son.

Indra just silently unable to say what, his voice as stuck in the esophagus. Can He share the pain that He has felt for his Mother?. Indra was worried If He complained to his mother, It would only increase the burden of his mind. He did not want to make the people He loved feel the sadness He felt today.

Without Indra knowing, that Mama has known everything for a long time. Aware of the behavior of his son who is sometimes happy, sometimes smiling his own smile even almost every night heard his son crying on the balcony of the room, he said, Finally, Merina's mother told someone to investigate what made her son like that. It was obvious that his son was in love within his limitations.

" Tell your mama, who's the girl that got your son interested in her? so that makes you wait for his presence.. Who makes you fall in love so you are not interested in other women, Mama sure the love you have, must be very big to him, The girl will be lucky to get a handsome Mama's son, Loyal, and have a loving attitude, Mama is sure if you can get it, you'll be soaked as a pussy."" Mama cupped Indra's face, she wished Indra's honesty to her. He wanted his son to share the sadness, sorrow and hurt he felt.

As a mother, Mama Merina felt useless. She can't be a good mother. There were no tears on her beautiful cheeks, soaking in the sadness of her beloved son.

" Mom... Mama don't cry, I'm sorry Indra Ma always makes Mama sad." Indra wiped away the tears on her mother's cheek.

" Mommy feels useless to be a mother, all the sadness you feel is always you yourself son, Mama is sad... Mama wants you to be happy." Mama said while wiping her tears.

" Someday I will tell Mama, I will strengthen my heart first so that I am ready to accept her rejection Ma, Because I am sure, all I will accept is rejection from her." Indra said, He felt defeated before the war. Like a flower it withers before it develops, like an Indra mosquito dies before sucking blood.

" Mom will always pray for your happiness, son." Mama Meri said still crying.

TBC....